So I guess I'm finishing up "day 2" of chemo and I feel great....better now than I did when I was on my own. Haven't had any fevers today or overnight. I'm just cold. A little better than yesterday because I actually have blood in me today but I'm really regretting forgetting my blanket at home. oh well. they stocked me up on lame hospital blankets so I'm okay for now. I started wearing a scarf to sleep in and it keeps slipping around on my head. lol. I got used to wearing them when I first lost my hair but now...they're just uncomfortable....i like my baseball caps....so much easier. Anyways, nothing new to report today. They changed my antibiotics because something about gram negative rods growing....don't know what that means but they said it only grew from the picc line cultures sooo....does that mean the picc line is coming out?? Idk what's going on. it would be GREAT if it was...but they'll probably just replace it because I imagine I'll need blood transfusions and blood draws for a bit....I have a doctors appointment scheduled for the 23rd of November so I guess I'll find out then. I don't feel weird or anything....if anything i'm filling up quickly with fluids and my stomach has an ache but it's probably because I'm not really eating like crazy anymore. I don't really have an appetite unless i'm really hungry so I just kinda...don't eat. i know that's awful....especially being on chemo and all....but it's also hard to get food in this joint after 6pm. lame right?
The numbness/tingling in my fingers seems to be getting a little better?? i think. The pain is a bit stronger....like as I type this and put pressure on my finger tips....it feels like I'm waking up each finger from being asleep....and you know how the pain gets worse as it's waking up before it goes away....well i feel like my fingertips are in that awkward stage of "waking up." that's the best way I can describe it....it's just weird.
Ummmm......other than that....nothing has really been going on. I got the energy to take a shower today. I know I always mention this but on this chemo stuff....it makes you aware of how much energy you use to take a shower. and when you have no blood....it's hard! So I'm always proud (as well as the nurses) when I actually have the energy to shower and can stand the entire time...little goals like that help get patients through the day.
The lady who i think is my neighbor.....was signing AGAIN ALL MORNING LOOOONNNGGG....ahhhh! So today I started playing lil wayne's new Carter IV album and she was quick to shut her door. yes!
Something else happened today and I took it as a reminder of how far a polite conversation can go....even if you dont want to have it. lol that sounds terrible but here's the story....last night was another night that I got VERY little sleep. If someone wasm't drawing my blood, they were asking for urine samples, or they were scanning my bracelet to give me meds...or they were trying to get a hold of my arm to switch IV medications or SOMETHING was going on....So by the time 7 rolls around......just as I'm falling back into a deep sleep....here come the string of doctors...they usually send in the medical students first and for me it's kind of cool becuase these med school students are usually around my age and with two friends in med school WITH these kids.....it's just neat. IDK WHY...i'm weird. anyways, so this guy comes in to do my morning interviews and he's a really nice guy. Very apologetic about waking me up and kinda makes it a little more pleasant...because believe me....i've done these interviews with a pillow over my head before because they're usually just annoying. So anyways, I guess he only had two patients and we ended up having like a 30 minute or so conversation about my students, taft, teachers, wearing wigs, bicycles, and just being in the hospital in general. It turns out that his mother had breast cancer and he related some of my stories to what his mom went through. We joked about how at the beginning of diagnosis...that first month....there was always TONS of visitors and people sending flowers and balloons....and all that stuff. We kinda laughed about it and I said...you know, you're right and i was thinking about that the other day...I mean....look around...I'm here alone probably 95% of the time...which I'm fine with but it was just funny. ANYWAYS....so later on after I had eaten lunch with my friend Erika who brought me some awesome subway, around 5pm....he came back! I was occupied with online window shopping and when he knocked on the door I totally ignored him expecting it was my nurse or housekeeping or something...but anyways, he brought me a get well balloon...just one...attached to nothing. I guess he was going home and remembered our extensive conversation and got one from the gift shop. It was such a nice gesture and it totally made my day. I remember in the hospital back in mercy Milford Clayton said to me "be kind to everybody. becuase you never know." And I guess just going an extra step with his patients or just listening to me talk about whatever was just nice. usually around here people rush in and out. I related all of this back to me (of course!) and my students. I guess it's sorta the same thing....the difference between a good teacher and a great teacher the kids will remember. Going a few extra steps. Yeah, it takes a little time and maybe some money....but it makes a world of differnce and this is just something I'll always remember...a lot like my visit with Mr. Clayton. He was awesome. He was so polite and just everything he did made sense. He really didn't have to visit me...he really didn't have to volunteer....but he did. and turns out....because I treated my class sponsors right (the senior adult group at a church) and went a little further for them (holiday signs, cards from the kids to the group) he took care of me (remember he was part of the group that "sponsored" my class). Its just crazy how this whole treatment has worked out....god works in mysterious ways. but he's good. god is good.
Anyways, just a cool story. so from that....remember, be kind to everyone, because you never know
Two days down....One to go.
I can do this.
218 days....god really is good.
thanks for the prayers and positive thoughts everyone has been sending my way. words cant describe how appreciative I am. :)
much love,
kim
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