I have about 24 hours until I go back in for more chemo and i'm sad. :(
I hate the hospital and I hate chemo.
BUT on the positive side, I'm getting healthy again and I can't hate that. :)
So i have a lot of things to do before I go in. I have some laundry to do, I have to go grocery shopping for snack food in the hospital and for all my crazy cravings after chemo. I need hotdogs to survive the first couple days because that was all I could or wanted to eat. and gatorade because that was the only thing I could drink that didn't really lose its taste....or taste too horrific. I cleaned my ENTIRE apartment yesterday ALLLLLL day so when I come home it will be clean and I can just lay around and recover....which is one of the worst parts of chemo. :( as soon as I get out of the hospital i want to hang out with people and socialize but i physically don't have the energy to. Anyways, I have a lot to do so I need to get started.
:)
kim
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Day 114: UGGGHHHHHHHH.........
I had my doctors appointment today and it went alright. All my counts were UP...yay!...and they were amazed how "healthy" i look...double yay!...
I start my 4th round of chemo on Monday...booo!!...and I think it's 3 days so I'll probably be in there for 4 or 5 days. :( Let's just hope OU Hospital has their stuff together and will be on top of everything so i can get in, get chemo, and get out! words can't describe how much i hate the hospital...
SOOO...on to the bad news...I thought this would be my LAST major chemo treatment...but no....I'm only halfway there. :( What I thought was 4 cycles...is only two. I already had 1a...1b....2a...and now i'm on 2b....and I have to go through 4b....LAAAMMMEEEEEE.
So i guess I won't be finished until october. But once i'm in remission (yay!) my counts bounce back quicker...making the whole process go by faster. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
BUT...if I can get a bone marrow transplant all of this will come to a halt and I'll be good. But I gotta find a match. My sister has been tested and were waiting on her results and idk about my brother. it's so hard because he's in a different state. AND if my sister IS a match...she's in a different COUNTRY. uuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
But I'll take it day by day and just hope for the best. I might as well get this chemo stuff going so i can get it over with....MAN am I ready for christmas break. I'll hopefully have a nice vacation somewhere and this new year celebration is going to be big. I'm ready for 2011 to be OVER!! BUT i gotta get my finances in order because this whole medical bills thing is CRAZY!!
My awesome social worker got me a few more "cancer scholarships" to fill out and send in so lets cross our fingers I get approved for SOMETHING. ANYTHING. EVERYTHING helps....She also got me some reading material (yuck! i hate reading) that looks interesting. So I'm taking a backpack to the hospital room and will be hopefully learning about more cool stuff.
ALSO....if you are a regular blood donor...i would LOOOOVE if you went to the Oklahoma Blood Institute to donate in my name. You don't have to be a specific blood type or anything. You'll just need my address and name and you're good! Everything helps and your contribution will help me pay for some of the MANY blood & platelet transfusions i needed in the past and in the future.
Anyways...................after my doctors appointment I went to wal-mart (my favorite place EVER) to get a wireless router for my apartment and of course...i bought a million other things lol. But as I was walking out the door the greeter, a sorta young very skinny lady who had short boyish hair with a huge pink flower headband, said have a great day! and threw me a warm hearted smile. I politely said thank you, you too and moved on through.... Well the security thing started to go off and beep as I passed through it...and i knew that would happen because i had an expensive electronic device that hadn't been deactivated. So as she took it from me and walked over to have it deactivated i waited and in a flash she came back with a smile and said "you're all set!!" and walked through the door with my wireless....Normally I wouldn't think anything of it but she seemed like she was jut having a great day and her smiles and chipper attitude was contagious. She just seemed so happy. So I pushed my cart through to meet her on the other side of the security thingy to get my router and as i was passing by her, I said Thank you again and she placed her hand on my right shoulder to squeeze by me and let me pass...she whispered in my ear....stay strong, you look great....and for some reason i started to cry...not like bust out in tears crying but more of a couple tears running down my cheeks as i walked to my car. Her words were so powerful to me because I realized how lucky i really am. I guess i just never stopped and really evaluated myself and see how strong I really am. And I cried about it. I'm soooo thankful that I can drive myself places, run, lift weights, and go to wal-mart without needing help. I'm taking so much for granted that I don't realize. And I guess it just hit me when some random stranger said something to me....this probably makes no sense at all but just know that her kind words and fun attitude just made all this cancer stuff worth it.
I almost want to say that she had cancer herself and was a survivor. Her hair was short but didn't have much style....like her hair had just grown back. it looked extremely thin and soft (kinda like mine when it was growing back) and the accessories she wore (pink headband and pink rubber bracelet) almost indicated she had a breast cancer. She was extremely thin and lanky....a lot like a sterotypical patient in for chemo treatments.....Or she could've been just a sweet lady.
okay now that i made myself cry again...i'm so lame sometimes...i need to finish cleaning my apartment and start making a list of what i need to get at the grocery store for my post-chemo cravings and i need to start packing a bag for the hospital....i have lots to do and only 2 days.
Have a fabulous day!
much love,
kim
p.s....my hair DID fall out AGAIN. let's just hope i get to keep my eyebrows this round. :)
I start my 4th round of chemo on Monday...booo!!...and I think it's 3 days so I'll probably be in there for 4 or 5 days. :( Let's just hope OU Hospital has their stuff together and will be on top of everything so i can get in, get chemo, and get out! words can't describe how much i hate the hospital...
SOOO...on to the bad news...I thought this would be my LAST major chemo treatment...but no....I'm only halfway there. :( What I thought was 4 cycles...is only two. I already had 1a...1b....2a...and now i'm on 2b....and I have to go through 4b....LAAAMMMEEEEEE.
So i guess I won't be finished until october. But once i'm in remission (yay!) my counts bounce back quicker...making the whole process go by faster. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
BUT...if I can get a bone marrow transplant all of this will come to a halt and I'll be good. But I gotta find a match. My sister has been tested and were waiting on her results and idk about my brother. it's so hard because he's in a different state. AND if my sister IS a match...she's in a different COUNTRY. uuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
But I'll take it day by day and just hope for the best. I might as well get this chemo stuff going so i can get it over with....MAN am I ready for christmas break. I'll hopefully have a nice vacation somewhere and this new year celebration is going to be big. I'm ready for 2011 to be OVER!! BUT i gotta get my finances in order because this whole medical bills thing is CRAZY!!
My awesome social worker got me a few more "cancer scholarships" to fill out and send in so lets cross our fingers I get approved for SOMETHING. ANYTHING. EVERYTHING helps....She also got me some reading material (yuck! i hate reading) that looks interesting. So I'm taking a backpack to the hospital room and will be hopefully learning about more cool stuff.
ALSO....if you are a regular blood donor...i would LOOOOVE if you went to the Oklahoma Blood Institute to donate in my name. You don't have to be a specific blood type or anything. You'll just need my address and name and you're good! Everything helps and your contribution will help me pay for some of the MANY blood & platelet transfusions i needed in the past and in the future.
Anyways...................after my doctors appointment I went to wal-mart (my favorite place EVER) to get a wireless router for my apartment and of course...i bought a million other things lol. But as I was walking out the door the greeter, a sorta young very skinny lady who had short boyish hair with a huge pink flower headband, said have a great day! and threw me a warm hearted smile. I politely said thank you, you too and moved on through.... Well the security thing started to go off and beep as I passed through it...and i knew that would happen because i had an expensive electronic device that hadn't been deactivated. So as she took it from me and walked over to have it deactivated i waited and in a flash she came back with a smile and said "you're all set!!" and walked through the door with my wireless....Normally I wouldn't think anything of it but she seemed like she was jut having a great day and her smiles and chipper attitude was contagious. She just seemed so happy. So I pushed my cart through to meet her on the other side of the security thingy to get my router and as i was passing by her, I said Thank you again and she placed her hand on my right shoulder to squeeze by me and let me pass...she whispered in my ear....stay strong, you look great....and for some reason i started to cry...not like bust out in tears crying but more of a couple tears running down my cheeks as i walked to my car. Her words were so powerful to me because I realized how lucky i really am. I guess i just never stopped and really evaluated myself and see how strong I really am. And I cried about it. I'm soooo thankful that I can drive myself places, run, lift weights, and go to wal-mart without needing help. I'm taking so much for granted that I don't realize. And I guess it just hit me when some random stranger said something to me....this probably makes no sense at all but just know that her kind words and fun attitude just made all this cancer stuff worth it.
I almost want to say that she had cancer herself and was a survivor. Her hair was short but didn't have much style....like her hair had just grown back. it looked extremely thin and soft (kinda like mine when it was growing back) and the accessories she wore (pink headband and pink rubber bracelet) almost indicated she had a breast cancer. She was extremely thin and lanky....a lot like a sterotypical patient in for chemo treatments.....Or she could've been just a sweet lady.
okay now that i made myself cry again...i'm so lame sometimes...i need to finish cleaning my apartment and start making a list of what i need to get at the grocery store for my post-chemo cravings and i need to start packing a bag for the hospital....i have lots to do and only 2 days.
Have a fabulous day!
much love,
kim
p.s....my hair DID fall out AGAIN. let's just hope i get to keep my eyebrows this round. :)
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Day 113: So Good.
I have been having a fabulous week!
I have my doctors appointment tomorrow morning in the new OU Cancer Center (exciting!) and my assumption is that I'll start my LAST MAJOR ROUND of chemo next week. Unless I can be 100% guaranteed that I will for sure START on Saturday or Sunday I'll wait until Monday to go in. My experience with hospitals is that NOTHING gets done on the weekend so I'd rather NOT sit around and collect a bill. LOL.
Other than that, I'm still feeling healthy. I'm working out (well trying to) but keeping motivated to workout is hard....School starts in a couple days (10!) but unfortunately, if i start chemo, i'll miss the first couple of weeks. :( Luckily, I've been working this week on my classroom and let me tell you, when other teachers are in your room for over 2 months and the cleaning crew comes in like a tornado to clean the floors....it's pretty much like starting over. BUT i have nothing else to do so I'm okay with it. Althought, I am a little upset that my zebra print broom and two pink trashcans have been taken! they're pretty easy to spot so I'll just be on the lookout.
OH, here is my counts report as of last wednesday....
White Blood Cell - 15.1 (YESSSS!)
Red Blood Cell - 2.68 :(
Hemoglobin - 8.4 (eh, i'm alive and can breathe)
Platelet Count - 123 (still low but I'll take it!)
So basically, life is good because my counts are up from my last read. I'm assuming that I'll get another cbc (complete blood count) tomorrow after my doc appointment and I'll probably wait for the results so I may have more to report tomorrow.
Alright well I'm going to the movies tonight with some friends so I need to get off of here.
Have a good day!
Much love
kim
I have my doctors appointment tomorrow morning in the new OU Cancer Center (exciting!) and my assumption is that I'll start my LAST MAJOR ROUND of chemo next week. Unless I can be 100% guaranteed that I will for sure START on Saturday or Sunday I'll wait until Monday to go in. My experience with hospitals is that NOTHING gets done on the weekend so I'd rather NOT sit around and collect a bill. LOL.
Other than that, I'm still feeling healthy. I'm working out (well trying to) but keeping motivated to workout is hard....School starts in a couple days (10!) but unfortunately, if i start chemo, i'll miss the first couple of weeks. :( Luckily, I've been working this week on my classroom and let me tell you, when other teachers are in your room for over 2 months and the cleaning crew comes in like a tornado to clean the floors....it's pretty much like starting over. BUT i have nothing else to do so I'm okay with it. Althought, I am a little upset that my zebra print broom and two pink trashcans have been taken! they're pretty easy to spot so I'll just be on the lookout.
OH, here is my counts report as of last wednesday....
White Blood Cell - 15.1 (YESSSS!)
Red Blood Cell - 2.68 :(
Hemoglobin - 8.4 (eh, i'm alive and can breathe)
Platelet Count - 123 (still low but I'll take it!)
So basically, life is good because my counts are up from my last read. I'm assuming that I'll get another cbc (complete blood count) tomorrow after my doc appointment and I'll probably wait for the results so I may have more to report tomorrow.
Alright well I'm going to the movies tonight with some friends so I need to get off of here.
Have a good day!
Much love
kim
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Day 109: And I'm Back In The Game!!
So i'm FINALLY fully recovered from my last chemo session and life is good again. My taste buds are back to normal (thank goodness!!) and I'm back to running again.
I took a trip to the Illinois River in Tahlequah this weekend with some teacher friends and it was much needed. Just to get away from the city felt great. I have my next doctors appointment on Friday and I'm assuming that I'll start my LAST major round of chemo probably sometime next week. So this week, I'm trying to get stuff done and hang out with people.
School starts August 1st but I don't think i'll be well enough to go for the first two or so weeks. :( I'm soooo ready to start working again and be around my students...they're awesome & they always seem to make me laugh or turn my day around.
There isn't really a lot to report, I'm just trying to enjoy my time with friends who matter before everything goes sour with treatment and all. ugh.
Alright well, i'm hungry and have no food in my kitchen, lol, so i'm off to the store to buy ramen noodles and chicken. LOL. sad right??
:)
kim
I took a trip to the Illinois River in Tahlequah this weekend with some teacher friends and it was much needed. Just to get away from the city felt great. I have my next doctors appointment on Friday and I'm assuming that I'll start my LAST major round of chemo probably sometime next week. So this week, I'm trying to get stuff done and hang out with people.
School starts August 1st but I don't think i'll be well enough to go for the first two or so weeks. :( I'm soooo ready to start working again and be around my students...they're awesome & they always seem to make me laugh or turn my day around.
There isn't really a lot to report, I'm just trying to enjoy my time with friends who matter before everything goes sour with treatment and all. ugh.
Alright well, i'm hungry and have no food in my kitchen, lol, so i'm off to the store to buy ramen noodles and chicken. LOL. sad right??
:)
kim
Monday, July 11, 2011
Day 103: PAIN
OMG..............i have been in pain for the majority of the day.
But I have figured out when it comes on. I call it during the "transition" times. For instance....i'm laying on my floor (yes I lay on my floor) typing this blog entry...and when I get up to walk to my bedroom as soon as I get up and start to walk....a sharp pain will surge throughout my ENTIRE back for about 4 seconds. and then...i'm good until i transition into another position. Even sitting down to standing hurts.
I think it's because I was carrying groceries in and my back just isn't strong enough anymore? IDK. But something is wrong. My headaches have been tamed. I was wearing a wig earlier and i got a minor headache but it seems to be going away. YES!
Well other than that, there isnt' much to report on. Tomorrow I'll start a 21 day exercise binge. Its absolutely pathetic how out of shape I am....I feel like i weight a million pounds because i've just been laying around recovering. I'm gonna see how my back does on a jog tomorrow morning and determine afterwards my exercise limits.....
Alright well that's pretty much it for today....i'm gonna go lay on my heating pad and try to get some sleep.....:)
have a good night....
kim
But I have figured out when it comes on. I call it during the "transition" times. For instance....i'm laying on my floor (yes I lay on my floor) typing this blog entry...and when I get up to walk to my bedroom as soon as I get up and start to walk....a sharp pain will surge throughout my ENTIRE back for about 4 seconds. and then...i'm good until i transition into another position. Even sitting down to standing hurts.
I think it's because I was carrying groceries in and my back just isn't strong enough anymore? IDK. But something is wrong. My headaches have been tamed. I was wearing a wig earlier and i got a minor headache but it seems to be going away. YES!
Well other than that, there isnt' much to report on. Tomorrow I'll start a 21 day exercise binge. Its absolutely pathetic how out of shape I am....I feel like i weight a million pounds because i've just been laying around recovering. I'm gonna see how my back does on a jog tomorrow morning and determine afterwards my exercise limits.....
Alright well that's pretty much it for today....i'm gonna go lay on my heating pad and try to get some sleep.....:)
have a good night....
kim
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Day 102: Life...or something like it.
UGGGHHHH it's 6:46am and I've already been up for almost an hour. IDK why but I'm anxious or nervous. I think I'm just scarred I'm gonna get sick or something.
On the plus side...i did get to watch a beautiful sunrise. I sat outside on my patio for a bit and it felt good to just sit and relax. I opened the vertical blinds in my apartment to let light in and it's a bit refreshing. Einstein (my cat) certainly likes it.
So I had my "doctor's" (i met with my doctors PA) appointment on Friday and everything went well. I told her about my fatigue and told her I have been laying on my couch the past week having pregnancy cravings & ridiculous hot flashes...she laughed and said it was normal. She was a bit concerned about my back and neck pains. I told them they have gotten aLOT better since I've been out but I guess I'm not suppose to be having them. She then found out that I had to have TWO attempts at the spinal chemo and she said it was probably the poking around that messed something up. GO FIGURE.
Today my back pain is AWFUL. I feel like I've been lifting heavy things ALL DAY LONG and lifting with my back and not my legs.... The muscles around my spine feel sore and it travels from the bottom of my back to my neck....:( When I lay down it relieves the pressure but I still have an uncomfortable feeling that is annoying. I really just need a massage. LOL. THEN when I get up, I have a feeling that comes over me that my back is going to go out. It doesn't happen all the time but these past two days have been especially rough. So if you see me get up and i all of a sudden freeze and make a sour face....you know why.
I go in everyday this week for a shot to help boost my white cell count so if it gets worse, I'll schedule me an appointment. On a more positive note....my appetite and taste buds are about 96% back to normal. YEEEEAAAHHHH BUDDY.
Now I just got to get his back problem "straightened out" (hahahahaha!) and get myself back to running and I'll be GOLDEN.
until then, I'm doing a lot of snacking and laying around....yikes! that's a recipe for danger.
I know what everyone is thinking....I need to take it easy and let my body heal...it's been through a lot......I've heard it a MILLION times. It's just hard to sit around my apartment all day and do nothing. But I'm resting as much as I can, but if this whole thing doesn't work or get better in a few days....i'm going back to running the pain out!!
but let's hope it doesn't come to that. :)
Alright well....in other news, I have seriously considered going back to school to get a nursing degree. random?? Well the thing is....i appreciate and respect nurses a LOT more now than I used to. Not just because my life is in their hands but now that I have seen first hand what they REALLY do....it's interesting to me and I think going to nursing school would be more meaningful than just having a degree. So i've been looking into BS to BSN programs....and I could totally do it. I would be one awesome nurse. And if I got sick of the medical industry, I'll always have teaching...
it's just a thought i've been throwing around and researching a little.
Alright well I'm about to make me a breakfast burrito and I guess watch movies because I have NO idea what's on this early on TV. LOL. :)
Everyone have a fab day and try to stay cool!! it's HOTTT outside i'm sure. :)
xoxo
kim
On the plus side...i did get to watch a beautiful sunrise. I sat outside on my patio for a bit and it felt good to just sit and relax. I opened the vertical blinds in my apartment to let light in and it's a bit refreshing. Einstein (my cat) certainly likes it.
So I had my "doctor's" (i met with my doctors PA) appointment on Friday and everything went well. I told her about my fatigue and told her I have been laying on my couch the past week having pregnancy cravings & ridiculous hot flashes...she laughed and said it was normal. She was a bit concerned about my back and neck pains. I told them they have gotten aLOT better since I've been out but I guess I'm not suppose to be having them. She then found out that I had to have TWO attempts at the spinal chemo and she said it was probably the poking around that messed something up. GO FIGURE.
Today my back pain is AWFUL. I feel like I've been lifting heavy things ALL DAY LONG and lifting with my back and not my legs.... The muscles around my spine feel sore and it travels from the bottom of my back to my neck....:( When I lay down it relieves the pressure but I still have an uncomfortable feeling that is annoying. I really just need a massage. LOL. THEN when I get up, I have a feeling that comes over me that my back is going to go out. It doesn't happen all the time but these past two days have been especially rough. So if you see me get up and i all of a sudden freeze and make a sour face....you know why.
I go in everyday this week for a shot to help boost my white cell count so if it gets worse, I'll schedule me an appointment. On a more positive note....my appetite and taste buds are about 96% back to normal. YEEEEAAAHHHH BUDDY.
Now I just got to get his back problem "straightened out" (hahahahaha!) and get myself back to running and I'll be GOLDEN.
until then, I'm doing a lot of snacking and laying around....yikes! that's a recipe for danger.
I know what everyone is thinking....I need to take it easy and let my body heal...it's been through a lot......I've heard it a MILLION times. It's just hard to sit around my apartment all day and do nothing. But I'm resting as much as I can, but if this whole thing doesn't work or get better in a few days....i'm going back to running the pain out!!
but let's hope it doesn't come to that. :)
Alright well....in other news, I have seriously considered going back to school to get a nursing degree. random?? Well the thing is....i appreciate and respect nurses a LOT more now than I used to. Not just because my life is in their hands but now that I have seen first hand what they REALLY do....it's interesting to me and I think going to nursing school would be more meaningful than just having a degree. So i've been looking into BS to BSN programs....and I could totally do it. I would be one awesome nurse. And if I got sick of the medical industry, I'll always have teaching...
it's just a thought i've been throwing around and researching a little.
Alright well I'm about to make me a breakfast burrito and I guess watch movies because I have NO idea what's on this early on TV. LOL. :)
Everyone have a fab day and try to stay cool!! it's HOTTT outside i'm sure. :)
xoxo
kim
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Day 99: Moving on Up
SOOOO.....no i'm not in a hospital. LOL. I FINALLY GOT INTERNET AT MY APARTMENT!!
so I can blog regularly as I spend my days laying on my couch recovering from the chemo. lol
which has been exactly what i've been up to.
I got discharged from the hospital on Thursday night. I felt great! I was walking every morning, afternoon, and night around the Oncology halls trying to keep my blood pumping and just to keep from DYING from BOREDOM....okay maybe wrong thing to say...but i was BOOOORRREEDDDD.
I felt great walking around....I had to lug my huge IV pole around but for the most part, FANTASTIC!! I thought it would be an awesome transition and I would be back to my normal perky self.....boy was I wrong. I got my spinal tap on Wednesday and I guess ALL THE CHEMO was still in my system (IDK why i thought it would've been OUT) and I felt like crap when I got home. I went to eat at Louie's the night I got out of the hospital with my friend emily because we were both craving PIZZA.....well, I ate MAYBE one slice....IF that....and was done. My taste buds were awful. I felt a foamy dry taste that messed up all sorts of food for me. Even water was gross!
So I sat and watched emily eat...lol...creepy i know....and went on home....oh and of course...on my drive home....i blew chunks ALL OVER MY EXPENSIVE WIG!!!! ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how on my wig you ask? Well I had been getting headaches all night from the spinal chemo and for some weird reason I decided to wear my expensive wig (that I've worn like twice) because there are some days that I just don't want people looking at me funny b/c i'm bald with a baseball cap on....crazy I know, but I have my reasons. ANYWAYS, once I had my wig on, I can't really adjust very much or take it off mid-sentence so I usually wear them (wigs) out when I know it'll be cold somewhere so it can double as a head warmer....well....when I'm on chemo I get crazy pregnancy tendencies....like HOT FLASHES. and yes I got one. When I get these hot flashes....they're no joke. my head starts sweating like crazy and I get so god-awful HOT it's ridiculous. Well in public they're a ZILLION times worse because people look at you like your crazy as you CHUG ice cold water and fan yourself.....BUT....ice cold water tasted HORRIBLE and fanning yourself can only cool you down so much....so as soon as I got out to the car....I ripped my wig off and turned the AC on BLAST.....eventually my head got cold but that sensation I got from headache/hot flash relief....was amazing. SO anyways, I'm driving down the road with my wig in my lap and...my mouth starts watering. IDK why i didn't just pull over immediately...i was being too nice. I didn't want to blow chunks all over someones driveway on meridian....so I waited too long....i don't have auto windows....so I just blew chunks on my wig. disgusting right???
well the good news is....after throwing up for about 2 minutes....that was it. I threw up the next morning a little but for the most part that's the extent of my nausea. I get headaches but they've gotten a LOT better since I left. The ONLY side effect I'm having is terrible spinal muscle area (think entire spine and neck) cramps. The only relief I get is when I lay down. If I sit too long it hurts my back but it's nothing to worry about. It's gotten a LOT better on it's own....my body is just taking its time to heal and get better. I'm just over-anxious to do things and be back to "normal" that I want my body to heal....like yesterday.
BUT i'm slowly learning and all I keep saying to myself is....I just got to get through this and one more time...and I'm practically DONE. back to life.
YES!!
So for now, I'm so tired all the time and I just run out of breath easy. I'm positive I need BLOOD in me because my anemia is going crazy...but maybe they're waiting to see what my body does on it's own?? I want to start running again because according to the hospital and my count history I had them print off....when I started running again ALL my counts jumped up to almost normal. I was still "low" for a normal person but for a leukemia patient....i was rocking it out.....
oh well.
Alright, well, i'm tired....it's midnight....and i'm ready to take my sleeping pills and go to SLEEP....
love you all...more hopefully tomorrow if I remember.....
XOXO
kim
but no worries, i think it's clean now but I need to wash it again, just in case.
so I can blog regularly as I spend my days laying on my couch recovering from the chemo. lol
which has been exactly what i've been up to.
I got discharged from the hospital on Thursday night. I felt great! I was walking every morning, afternoon, and night around the Oncology halls trying to keep my blood pumping and just to keep from DYING from BOREDOM....okay maybe wrong thing to say...but i was BOOOORRREEDDDD.
I felt great walking around....I had to lug my huge IV pole around but for the most part, FANTASTIC!! I thought it would be an awesome transition and I would be back to my normal perky self.....boy was I wrong. I got my spinal tap on Wednesday and I guess ALL THE CHEMO was still in my system (IDK why i thought it would've been OUT) and I felt like crap when I got home. I went to eat at Louie's the night I got out of the hospital with my friend emily because we were both craving PIZZA.....well, I ate MAYBE one slice....IF that....and was done. My taste buds were awful. I felt a foamy dry taste that messed up all sorts of food for me. Even water was gross!
So I sat and watched emily eat...lol...creepy i know....and went on home....oh and of course...on my drive home....i blew chunks ALL OVER MY EXPENSIVE WIG!!!! ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how on my wig you ask? Well I had been getting headaches all night from the spinal chemo and for some weird reason I decided to wear my expensive wig (that I've worn like twice) because there are some days that I just don't want people looking at me funny b/c i'm bald with a baseball cap on....crazy I know, but I have my reasons. ANYWAYS, once I had my wig on, I can't really adjust very much or take it off mid-sentence so I usually wear them (wigs) out when I know it'll be cold somewhere so it can double as a head warmer....well....when I'm on chemo I get crazy pregnancy tendencies....like HOT FLASHES. and yes I got one. When I get these hot flashes....they're no joke. my head starts sweating like crazy and I get so god-awful HOT it's ridiculous. Well in public they're a ZILLION times worse because people look at you like your crazy as you CHUG ice cold water and fan yourself.....BUT....ice cold water tasted HORRIBLE and fanning yourself can only cool you down so much....so as soon as I got out to the car....I ripped my wig off and turned the AC on BLAST.....eventually my head got cold but that sensation I got from headache/hot flash relief....was amazing. SO anyways, I'm driving down the road with my wig in my lap and...my mouth starts watering. IDK why i didn't just pull over immediately...i was being too nice. I didn't want to blow chunks all over someones driveway on meridian....so I waited too long....i don't have auto windows....so I just blew chunks on my wig. disgusting right???
well the good news is....after throwing up for about 2 minutes....that was it. I threw up the next morning a little but for the most part that's the extent of my nausea. I get headaches but they've gotten a LOT better since I left. The ONLY side effect I'm having is terrible spinal muscle area (think entire spine and neck) cramps. The only relief I get is when I lay down. If I sit too long it hurts my back but it's nothing to worry about. It's gotten a LOT better on it's own....my body is just taking its time to heal and get better. I'm just over-anxious to do things and be back to "normal" that I want my body to heal....like yesterday.
BUT i'm slowly learning and all I keep saying to myself is....I just got to get through this and one more time...and I'm practically DONE. back to life.
YES!!
So for now, I'm so tired all the time and I just run out of breath easy. I'm positive I need BLOOD in me because my anemia is going crazy...but maybe they're waiting to see what my body does on it's own?? I want to start running again because according to the hospital and my count history I had them print off....when I started running again ALL my counts jumped up to almost normal. I was still "low" for a normal person but for a leukemia patient....i was rocking it out.....
oh well.
Alright, well, i'm tired....it's midnight....and i'm ready to take my sleeping pills and go to SLEEP....
love you all...more hopefully tomorrow if I remember.....
XOXO
kim
but no worries, i think it's clean now but I need to wash it again, just in case.
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