I had my doctors appointment today and it went alright. All my counts were UP...yay!...and they were amazed how "healthy" i look...double yay!...
I start my 4th round of chemo on Monday...booo!!...and I think it's 3 days so I'll probably be in there for 4 or 5 days. :( Let's just hope OU Hospital has their stuff together and will be on top of everything so i can get in, get chemo, and get out! words can't describe how much i hate the hospital...
SOOO...on to the bad news...I thought this would be my LAST major chemo treatment...but no....I'm only halfway there. :( What I thought was 4 cycles...is only two. I already had 1a...1b....2a...and now i'm on 2b....and I have to go through 4b....LAAAMMMEEEEEE.
So i guess I won't be finished until october. But once i'm in remission (yay!) my counts bounce back quicker...making the whole process go by faster. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
BUT...if I can get a bone marrow transplant all of this will come to a halt and I'll be good. But I gotta find a match. My sister has been tested and were waiting on her results and idk about my brother. it's so hard because he's in a different state. AND if my sister IS a match...she's in a different COUNTRY. uuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
But I'll take it day by day and just hope for the best. I might as well get this chemo stuff going so i can get it over with....MAN am I ready for christmas break. I'll hopefully have a nice vacation somewhere and this new year celebration is going to be big. I'm ready for 2011 to be OVER!! BUT i gotta get my finances in order because this whole medical bills thing is CRAZY!!
My awesome social worker got me a few more "cancer scholarships" to fill out and send in so lets cross our fingers I get approved for SOMETHING. ANYTHING. EVERYTHING helps....She also got me some reading material (yuck! i hate reading) that looks interesting. So I'm taking a backpack to the hospital room and will be hopefully learning about more cool stuff.
ALSO....if you are a regular blood donor...i would LOOOOVE if you went to the Oklahoma Blood Institute to donate in my name. You don't have to be a specific blood type or anything. You'll just need my address and name and you're good! Everything helps and your contribution will help me pay for some of the MANY blood & platelet transfusions i needed in the past and in the future.
Anyways...................after my doctors appointment I went to wal-mart (my favorite place EVER) to get a wireless router for my apartment and of course...i bought a million other things lol. But as I was walking out the door the greeter, a sorta young very skinny lady who had short boyish hair with a huge pink flower headband, said have a great day! and threw me a warm hearted smile. I politely said thank you, you too and moved on through.... Well the security thing started to go off and beep as I passed through it...and i knew that would happen because i had an expensive electronic device that hadn't been deactivated. So as she took it from me and walked over to have it deactivated i waited and in a flash she came back with a smile and said "you're all set!!" and walked through the door with my wireless....Normally I wouldn't think anything of it but she seemed like she was jut having a great day and her smiles and chipper attitude was contagious. She just seemed so happy. So I pushed my cart through to meet her on the other side of the security thingy to get my router and as i was passing by her, I said Thank you again and she placed her hand on my right shoulder to squeeze by me and let me pass...she whispered in my ear....stay strong, you look great....and for some reason i started to cry...not like bust out in tears crying but more of a couple tears running down my cheeks as i walked to my car. Her words were so powerful to me because I realized how lucky i really am. I guess i just never stopped and really evaluated myself and see how strong I really am. And I cried about it. I'm soooo thankful that I can drive myself places, run, lift weights, and go to wal-mart without needing help. I'm taking so much for granted that I don't realize. And I guess it just hit me when some random stranger said something to me....this probably makes no sense at all but just know that her kind words and fun attitude just made all this cancer stuff worth it.
I almost want to say that she had cancer herself and was a survivor. Her hair was short but didn't have much style....like her hair had just grown back. it looked extremely thin and soft (kinda like mine when it was growing back) and the accessories she wore (pink headband and pink rubber bracelet) almost indicated she had a breast cancer. She was extremely thin and lanky....a lot like a sterotypical patient in for chemo treatments.....Or she could've been just a sweet lady.
okay now that i made myself cry again...i'm so lame sometimes...i need to finish cleaning my apartment and start making a list of what i need to get at the grocery store for my post-chemo cravings and i need to start packing a bag for the hospital....i have lots to do and only 2 days.
Have a fabulous day!
much love,
kim
p.s....my hair DID fall out AGAIN. let's just hope i get to keep my eyebrows this round. :)
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