My days seriously blend together and I went all day thinking it was tuesday. ugh. So I was awaken earrrrllllyyy this morning by all my doctors and they said I could get out TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
but
I didn't get my PICC line in. :(
so probably not. :( :( :'(
The PICC line nurses came in my room around 10am and I was ready. I was cracking jokes right and left, I was creating conversation, everything was peachy. From my two picc line insertions I don't remember it really hurting.....until came the numbing shot. OMG....It wouldn't have been that bad because my bone marrow biopsy numbing shots are a lot more painful and I've been stuck so many time with needles that I have a "thing" i do before my shots and it usually takes away the pain.....All nurses usually say "Okay big stick...." or "okay...little stick...." or (the worse) "you'll feel a stick and a burn" well.........it was one of those "stick and burn" kinda shots. The nurse said okay here comes the numbing medication....so I turned my head getting ready to prepare myself for a shot....waiting for those words...................that never came and just as I relaxed again...........BAM.............BURN...........
i literally screamed in my bed and my entire body tensed up from head to toe. It probably looked like I just got shocked because yes, even my feet came off the bed. It burned for a good 2 or 3 seconds and it was just terrible. I just wasn't ready. So then the nurse was poking around my arm asking if i felt anything sharp...and of course....i did so she numbed me again. This time it didn't hurt as bad because the other numbing medication was kinda working...and i was more prepared. So then I was laying there and they were doing their thing and I could feel the line in my chest wiggling around....it was soooo weird. After a couple of minutes they took away my pillow I was laying on and had me look to my right and I could see my arm through the plastic thingy they had over me....and it was alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll bloody!! It was gross....but I continued to watch anyway and it was kinda cool....the picc line coming in and out of my arm....and i could feel it.....but then.....they stopped. I was confused and asked what was going on and they said the line kept following the wrong vein and turning around and returning. So they said they were going to try at a different site on my arm.....the first site was at the top of my arm around the little muscle I have....maybe that's why it was so painful.
So the second time they moved more around the inner part of my arm. still on the right side. And again...the same process, this time I was more prepared but the numbing shot still hurt. This time I did my regular "its gonna hurt" routine....took a deep breath in, held it, and then let it out and squeezed my sheets. lol. sounds silly, but it works. Anyways, they tried again but nothing. Same thing was happening and they said sometimes it just doesn't work for them. They said something about my vein "hiding" behind the other. I didn't really ask too many questions....i was too busy being sad because this going to delay my discharge. :(
So I asked what was going to happen now and she said that radiology will have to put it in downstairs but it may be a while. :( So I'm HOPING that tomorrow my arm not only stops hurting by the time the procedure happens but also that it happens tomorrow MORNING and they can discharge me after I get my medications....I just need a break from this place.
because....
I have to come back on MONDAY (UUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) for my 5th round of chemo. I think I can handle it better IF I get a break from this place. If I can't....I will cry. LOL.
alright well that's all that has been going on today. I'll update more tomorrow. :)
much love,
kim
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