So I just arrived and moved into my room. Right before I got here I had mad crazy chills....followed by a minor fever.....that broke quickly after taking some tylenol. I had no energy what so ever....it was awful. But between chills....I managed to do a load of laundry....take a HOT bath to warm up.....and clean my apartment up a little bit. It was a rough morning but I managed.
The ONLY thing that kept me going was me saying to myself....."this is the last time you have to do this kim....you can do it." and also "when you get to your hospital room you can lay down and let others take care of you all you want."
i'm telling you rough.
Anyways, not much excitement has been happening this past week. I've sorta just been waiting for this week to happen. So I'm definately ready for this to be over with. it has been a loooooong 216 days.
Right now, I have yet to meet my nurse....either she's just been busy or on break. the head nurse came in to get my inital vital signs and then a doctor came by to talk to me about treatment and got me to sign my consent to treat stuff. I told her about some tingling in my fingers that has been happening.....idk if I wrote about this in my last post but if I didn't....i've been having some tingling in my fingers. LOL. mainly in my fingertips....it's kinda like the feeling that you get right before your feet fall asleep....or come out of sleep....except mine is constant. Anyways, she said that it was a normal side effect for the vincristine....aka the Day 11 chemo I got. She didnt' say when it would go away....but I know that the morning team of doctors will ask the question "any numbness or tingling in your fingers or toes..." and for once....my answer will be YES. but then they'll probably say....well let us know if it gets worse....because that's what they do.
anyways, then the doctor gave the OKAY to start the chemo and she claimed to put in the orders. usually they start the chemo around 9 or 10pm.....and it runs like every 12 hours. with more stuff in between. fabulous right?? BUT IT"S MY LAST CHEMOTHERAPY TREATMENT. so i'll live. :)
Alright well, nothing else to report except I just ordered some food (grilled chicken breast, broccoli, and rice) and i just now realized i forgot ALL MY SPICES at home....noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!
i guess I'll have to eat dull food for a few days. ugh. maybe i'll lose my appetite. haha....i know that's terrible to say but I've gained so much weight from those dang steroids I was on....that I really need to. It got so bad that they weighed me at the cancer center last friday and I had weight A......and today when they weighed me the nurse was concerned that she said....have you lost a significant amount of weight lately?? I said no then politely explained that when they weighed me at the cancer center i was on steroids and eating everything in sight.....she sorta ignored everything I said.....and I told her when I left here last time I weighed around 155. Once again.....ignored. So then she said....well, i'll just look it up. Then she came back with the doctor and what do you know....it was confirmed that i was 156 when I was last weighed during my last hospital admission. Seriously....if you work in the medical field.....ask or at least LISTEN to your patients....especially if they're in some sort of routine. They may not know all the technical terms to use but they know what they're talking about and they know their body better than anyone. ugh. makes me sick.
Anyways, the nurse just came in and did my assessment.....on a papertowel.....and hooked me up to my good ole saline bag for fluids......not much more excitement going on here so I'm gonna watch CASPER and HOCUS POCUS on this Halloween night......while I wait for my food.
P.S....NO ONE IS DRESSED UP AROUND HERE. i was so sad NOT to see any costumes. I was sure that nurses or at least desk workers dressed up.....how lame. I was somewhat glad to see that my nurse did have on halloween scrubs.....i guess that is better than nothing.
Anyways.......
Happy Halloween!!
be safe.
:)
Kim
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Day 208: Lazy
WELL.....these past 7 days have been much better. I regained my energy back and I even taught fall break intersession at school! It was a great way to sorta get back into the swing of teaching. It was a little exhausting but nothing I couldn't handle. I didn't get tired (fatigue) while teaching and my white counts remained UP....YAY!! This is great news because my poor immune system has been through everything and it hung in there. It was really funny because I gave my students the "help miss begay out" talk and explained to them what type of cancer I had and we had the conversation about white blood cells and what could happen if they don't stay "clean" around me. They really seemed to take it seriously because they became obsessed with not touching too many things and germ-xing after everything. Hopefully when I actually start teaching full time they don't get lazy on me. It's so easy to forget to not share things or germ-x after everything. kids are dirty these days.
Anyways..........last weekend? was the breast cancer 5k and MAN OH MAN.........It was awful!! Usually a couple days out of chemo I'm fine.......I can run, I go to the gym, I do things....but this time....it took a HUGE toll on my body. My guess is because the MAJORITY (if not all) the bad cells are gone from my body and the chemo drugs are literally poisoning my body and making it weak.....whereas before the chemo drugs were attacking the bad cells and leaving some good cells out there. SO about this 5k.....I had every intention of simply running the entire thing....not really caring about a time or anything just getting though the run. YEEEAAAAHhhh....didn't happen. I could barely walk the entire thing......actually, getting ready for the run in the morning was a struggle. I thought it was because my hemoglobin was low or something because I was sooo tired getting ready and walking around. it was awful. Just walking around waiting for the actual race to start was hard. I found myself trying to catch my breath the entire time. It was sooo weird. I ran for an entire maybe 20 seconds and then found myself needing to walk. THen at the beginning of the course there was a TINY TINY incline that we had to go up and I thought I was going to pass out WALKING up it. In my head I was trying to determine whether or not I should just turn around and not go through the entire course or if I should wave down the golf carts and just tell them to take me back....but i didn't. I couldn't. I guess it was the competitive person inside of me taking over but I seriously thought I was going to pass out if I walked fast or did anything too much more strenuous. UGH......it was awful. Anyways, I got through the race and afterwards I came home and passed out like I had just ran a marathon. It was horrible. So that was saturday....then sunday I thought it was saturday and I lost track of time and stayed up LATE working on lesson plans for that monday.
THEN the whole cancer center getting confused about my day 11 chemo happened (see last blog) and once it got figured out I was home free. I had so much energy last week it was hard to believe that I could barely walk 3 miles.....Then TUESDAY night....my BROTHER CAME. FINALLY......the day we have been waiting for. He was on his way back to North Carolina and drove through on Tuesday night. I had to set up his appointment to get tested for the bone marrow transplant which again....was another task in itself because the cancer center can be so crazy. We had an appointment at 8am on Wednesday morning. So he was literally here for less than 10 hours.....it was nice to see him though. We went to breakfast after my lab stuff and his blood draw, then he was on his way. IDK when the results are suppose to be in but I'm not counting on them coming in anytime soon.
Until I figure out if he's a match or not....I still have ONE MORE CHEMO TREATMENT left......I'll go in on Halloween (next week) and be in for 4 or 5 days......this is the short cycle so most likely i'll get out on Thursday....if OU can get their stuff together and admit me on time. THEN i'll go on maintenance chemo and it will be via oral pills! I'll still have to have my lab work done to check my counts and stuff but that's easy schmeasy. I had a doctors appointment on friday and my doctor was saying that my white counts are doing AWESOME. My red counts are still low but she said that that's normal and will probably be the last to fully recover. This has definitely been a LOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG seven months....i'm so glad that it's almost over and I can get back to "normal." It's hard to keep a routine like I used to because everytime I try to get back into the swing of things....i'm either too tired to continue or have some sort of something come up and mess everything up.
HMMMMMMMM..............okay so now that I'm old and all.....yesterday in OKC it rained/stormed and first of all....i was a complete bum all day and stayed in my apartment laying around......but then something weird happened. Everytime I got up, no matter where I layed down, my lower back was having sharp pains....sorta like I just had a bone marrow biopsy....THEN later on in the day i started having the WORST joint pains EVER. I was so confused because I had NEVER had this problem. Then my friend Emily informed me that it was about to storm.....so does this mean that whenever it rains my joints are going to act up??? I mean.....It hurt to walk......even just to lay down. I can't really describe the pain but it was awful. And I can usually stand pain pretty well and kinda fight through it....but once again....i was miserable. and i was like that all night and even this morning. I took some pain pills and sorta just complained a lot but I didn't know what to do. Right now my knees just feel sore but it was the weirdest thing ever. Also my fingertips are tingly. IDK if it's a side effect of the chemo (i remember doctors asking if I have any numb feelings) but its just annoying now. And all these 'side effects' just popped up.....so idk what to think of all of this.
So if anyone has any ideas or suggestions what I should do about these joint pains....let me know!
Alright well other than that, nothing else has been going on. It seems like my blog is slowly fading away because my days are getting more "normal" and less eventful......which is a GOOD thing but it's still bitter sweet. I remember the mercy hospital days that I used to write notes down so I could remember what to blog about......that seems like so long ago.
okay well, I'm going to watch more tv and continue to be lazy.....love you all~
kim
Anyways..........last weekend? was the breast cancer 5k and MAN OH MAN.........It was awful!! Usually a couple days out of chemo I'm fine.......I can run, I go to the gym, I do things....but this time....it took a HUGE toll on my body. My guess is because the MAJORITY (if not all) the bad cells are gone from my body and the chemo drugs are literally poisoning my body and making it weak.....whereas before the chemo drugs were attacking the bad cells and leaving some good cells out there. SO about this 5k.....I had every intention of simply running the entire thing....not really caring about a time or anything just getting though the run. YEEEAAAAHhhh....didn't happen. I could barely walk the entire thing......actually, getting ready for the run in the morning was a struggle. I thought it was because my hemoglobin was low or something because I was sooo tired getting ready and walking around. it was awful. Just walking around waiting for the actual race to start was hard. I found myself trying to catch my breath the entire time. It was sooo weird. I ran for an entire maybe 20 seconds and then found myself needing to walk. THen at the beginning of the course there was a TINY TINY incline that we had to go up and I thought I was going to pass out WALKING up it. In my head I was trying to determine whether or not I should just turn around and not go through the entire course or if I should wave down the golf carts and just tell them to take me back....but i didn't. I couldn't. I guess it was the competitive person inside of me taking over but I seriously thought I was going to pass out if I walked fast or did anything too much more strenuous. UGH......it was awful. Anyways, I got through the race and afterwards I came home and passed out like I had just ran a marathon. It was horrible. So that was saturday....then sunday I thought it was saturday and I lost track of time and stayed up LATE working on lesson plans for that monday.
THEN the whole cancer center getting confused about my day 11 chemo happened (see last blog) and once it got figured out I was home free. I had so much energy last week it was hard to believe that I could barely walk 3 miles.....Then TUESDAY night....my BROTHER CAME. FINALLY......the day we have been waiting for. He was on his way back to North Carolina and drove through on Tuesday night. I had to set up his appointment to get tested for the bone marrow transplant which again....was another task in itself because the cancer center can be so crazy. We had an appointment at 8am on Wednesday morning. So he was literally here for less than 10 hours.....it was nice to see him though. We went to breakfast after my lab stuff and his blood draw, then he was on his way. IDK when the results are suppose to be in but I'm not counting on them coming in anytime soon.
Until I figure out if he's a match or not....I still have ONE MORE CHEMO TREATMENT left......I'll go in on Halloween (next week) and be in for 4 or 5 days......this is the short cycle so most likely i'll get out on Thursday....if OU can get their stuff together and admit me on time. THEN i'll go on maintenance chemo and it will be via oral pills! I'll still have to have my lab work done to check my counts and stuff but that's easy schmeasy. I had a doctors appointment on friday and my doctor was saying that my white counts are doing AWESOME. My red counts are still low but she said that that's normal and will probably be the last to fully recover. This has definitely been a LOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG seven months....i'm so glad that it's almost over and I can get back to "normal." It's hard to keep a routine like I used to because everytime I try to get back into the swing of things....i'm either too tired to continue or have some sort of something come up and mess everything up.
HMMMMMMMM..............okay so now that I'm old and all.....yesterday in OKC it rained/stormed and first of all....i was a complete bum all day and stayed in my apartment laying around......but then something weird happened. Everytime I got up, no matter where I layed down, my lower back was having sharp pains....sorta like I just had a bone marrow biopsy....THEN later on in the day i started having the WORST joint pains EVER. I was so confused because I had NEVER had this problem. Then my friend Emily informed me that it was about to storm.....so does this mean that whenever it rains my joints are going to act up??? I mean.....It hurt to walk......even just to lay down. I can't really describe the pain but it was awful. And I can usually stand pain pretty well and kinda fight through it....but once again....i was miserable. and i was like that all night and even this morning. I took some pain pills and sorta just complained a lot but I didn't know what to do. Right now my knees just feel sore but it was the weirdest thing ever. Also my fingertips are tingly. IDK if it's a side effect of the chemo (i remember doctors asking if I have any numb feelings) but its just annoying now. And all these 'side effects' just popped up.....so idk what to think of all of this.
So if anyone has any ideas or suggestions what I should do about these joint pains....let me know!
Alright well other than that, nothing else has been going on. It seems like my blog is slowly fading away because my days are getting more "normal" and less eventful......which is a GOOD thing but it's still bitter sweet. I remember the mercy hospital days that I used to write notes down so I could remember what to blog about......that seems like so long ago.
okay well, I'm going to watch more tv and continue to be lazy.....love you all~
kim
Monday, October 17, 2011
Day 202: It's like running a marathon...I'm SO close & it hurts
i feel like i'm on the last homestretch where your so close to the finish line....but you hurt physically and are thinking....OH THIS WAS A GREAT IDEA......ugh......i feel like i'm on mile 10 of a half marathon (13.1) .....mile 21 on a full marathon (26.2).... mile 2.1 on a 5k (3.1)....the 300 meter mark on a 400 m dash....(starting the last straight away) the point where you are like...omg.....seriously....i've went so far....i'm so close to being DONE.....but i'm in pain....i guess only runners would understand but it really applies to everything.
ANYWAYS.......
So sorry to my readers but these last 7 days have been THE ROUGHEST non-infection days....it's like....oh this is what chemo treatments were suppose to feel like. haha. I'm sooo lucky that it's been smooth sailing to me until now because I can put up with this just ONE MORE TIME.....it has been just awful and today (7 days out) is the first actual day I have energy. Almost too much energy.
I think I'm still way excited about teaching intersession at school...it's technically fall break for OKCPS schools but intersession is three days long and i have extremely small classes. It's funny because all the kids know me but i don't know them....and today I woke up after a two hour sleep....YES two hours....because I sat around my apartment thinking it was Saturday and I had "all day sunday" to work on my lesson plans. then somehow (i don't remember how) it dawned on me....OMG i'm TEACHING tomorrow.....and I have nothing FUN planned. So around 10 I realized this....So i gathered computers (one for music) and one to make my actual lessons for tomorrow. So then what do I do?? Get on Facebook.....what a fail. Then one of my old first year students started talking to me and I got wrapped up in that conversation and directed my attention to being creepy on facebook and looking at others pictures or making a ridiculous status....basically NOT being productive. SO FINALLY around MINDNIGHT i decided....hmmm maybe I should get serious because this morning I had to be up at the Cancer Center BY 8 (if i wanted to get to work on time) to get my day 11 vincristine chemotherapy...no worries...it usually takes only 20 minutes if they're efficient. (more on this later....a whole story on its' own) SO I had to be up by 630 to LEAVE by 730 to compensate for the AM rush down the highway that I usually don't drive. So I started on my rules (these kids have NEVER had me as a teacher) and I have to put my foot down to create a classroom culture that they will hopefully spread via mouth that Miss Begay doens't play around when she means it. Anyways, then since its intersession what kid REALLY wants to be there?? So I did my normal actual lesson I HAVE to do.....got it out of the way and then my FUN lesson.....but with a world of math possibilities......there are too many activities for just THREE DAYS....So i settles on tower building with marshmellows and toothpicks....the kids LOOOOOVE it.....and they're so calm during the activity i'm surprised....but it's only the first day. lol. we didn't get to it because the rules too me a while to explain and i had to emphasize WHY we have to be CLEAN FREAKS....all the kids all "heard" that I had cancer but I guess actually hearing it from me and explaining i have a blood cancer and we talked a bit about what an immune system is and why mine is bad. So I put germ-x on each table and told them to use it....especially when I'm around you....and they HAVE. I'm soo proud of them. Because one kid when he came back from break said....okay miss begay I touched the door to go outside and I noticed how many people actually touched the door and how many girls I hugged....so don't come near me....I NEED GERM-x......this is why i love 8th graders.
They were just so funny and It put me at ease that they actually listened to me and understood.....and to make it all worse....since I woke up so early.....went without a wig today at school.....a little of a shock to the kids....and one kid even said....uhh miss begay....the last time you were here....you had hair. The kids were all like.....gasssspppp......and I had to explain to them that I love wigs but just like them....there are days that I like to be lazy...and you're gonna see me like this quite a bit....because I'm OKAY that I have cancer and it'll grow back......i joked around about not having to buy shampoo or conditioner or hair products for 7 months....and they thought it was funny. So I guess them actually seeing me comfortable with myself and being funny around them.....makes them more comfortable for me....and I know they'll remember or talk about "My 8th grade teacher had cancer and I remember seeing her without hair...." and almost comforting others who may just be diagnosed or something.....because they see me in my better days and they can retell stories about me....like running 5k practices....or just joking around with them....sorta long shot expectations but just maybe one day.....it'll comfort someone. I'm just rambling now.....ANYWAYS.......................................
back to my morning.....SO I went to the new cancer center....even got there around 7:45 and UNLESS i have to......i'm never going to schedule a morning appointment......there were SOO many people there....older senior citizens of course....no youngin' in sight....it's TOO early. my nurse already had a full section....or so i heard. So i got there.....I checked in....signed my name....said hi to the usual front desk workers....who know me by name, chart number, image.....everything. I guess i'm there a lot. haha. so anyways....there were like....oh you usually come in the afternoons....this is weird....are you just here for cbc labs?? my thoughts....UUUHHHH NO.......what I actually said "not today...i'm scheduled for my day 11 vincristine/"
they looked at me like I was crazy.
then panicked.
So they said....do the doctors know? Who did you make an appointment with? Luckily I've FINALLY learned to take my discharge papers with me and I showed them the date, time, voicemail for confirmation.....but yet they had NO record of me even coming. So eager to push me aside she said....okay Kim (the other front desk worker) will be here soon she may know a little more....i wasn't here on friday. So I said...oooh okay, understandable. and I was still early. So Kim came in and she was just as confused!!
..being my normal charming self to people i need to get in good with (secretaries especially, they RUN that place). She had a look like...oh yes, i SORT OF remember that but don't...so she said okay let me take care of the others really quick and i'll find out what's going on....so come 8:15.....I was STILL sitting and nothing. So I did the "math" and was like....if I don't leave now I could be LATE to work....so I walked up to the desk where the two secretaries seemed busy and efficient....I said....I have work at 9 about 15-20 minutes away. Is there a way I can come back later this afternoon to get the vincristine? They looked at each other and each said to each other....OH I THOUGHT YOU WERE WORKING ON Kim's STUFF.....OHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOSSSHHHHH.
i thought i was going to lose it. so I had been sitting for 20 minutes with nothing being done. So politely I said....well this will give you guys time to figure out the confusion. So they said okay....and asked me to come back at 3pm. So i said okay and went on my way to school. I wasn't late....i actually got stuff done and taken care of stuff before the kids arrived.
Then come around 3..... first traffic was AWFUL.....and when I got there I was late but i didn't have anything planned the rest of the day so I didn't care if I was there forever. So i was really patient anyway. SO then I checked in....they had my chart ready for me....the nurse came quick to get me....so I was like....okay, they firgured it out.....then I heard the nurses talking.....they had NO IDEA what i was there for. I could hear them talking about me.....almost like I was a crazy person who was making these things about needing chemo and that I like to come to the cancer center and cause chaos. ummm no. And not once did a nurse come and ask me....or request to look at my discharge papers....which apparently don't matter around there. IDK if they think patients have no idea what they're talking about....but this patient does. AND not once did I ever hear....well let me call downstairs (chemo/infusion is on the 3rd floor and Oncology services (my doctor and her nurse)) are on the 2nd floor.....and ask her actual doctor. I mean....to me that makes sense. rather than to rummage through paperwork that they obviously DON'T have.....finally the nurse came back and was talking to me causally and dropped a million questions regarding what they were just talking about....i felt like she was spying on me. Whereas I just wanted her to ask...okay kim, why are you here?? And they had ALLLLLLL day to figure this out.....just baffled me. SO after much talking and being talked about....it finally got ordered and it took (the actually process) about 3 minutes. CRAZY RIGHT?!
so then when I asked them about the confusion....apparently this is normal for them. and I'm not the only patient that shows up with hospital orders...so I guess... lesson learned. now that i'm done for a bit with all these crazy appointment's.
So after all this....my brother will be in town for a few hours tomorrow night....passing though on his way back to NC. so I had to tell the people to get his blood drawn set up.... because i can't afford another day like this...and he's on a time crunch as it is.....so they were sending me up all kinds of stairs to fill out paperwork and try to squeeze him him wednesday morning at 8am....i said....okay....if you don't get him in now....you'll miss your chance for another two years. we trend to do HLA tests through the military....and it's nearly impossible....well it is.....my sister got tested and somehow the results were lost in mid air via fax.....so i guess the urgency was set in and they said...okay we'll get him in. I said okay I have to be at work at 9. and he has to be on the road by 9......
so I got that as ironed out as possible without him being here to sign things....hopefully to make the transition smooth and efficient.
GEEZ what a day...but luckily after this day.....i got some TEXAS ROADHOUSE...YUM! with my friend Debbie and it's always nice to wind down with her or any friend after a long day like I've had.....
it's wonderful.
ALSO IN OTHER NEWS...................MY SISTER AND I BOOKED OUR FLIGHT TO THE US VIRGIN ISLANDS!! yes sir folks.....after 6 hours on the phone talking and catching up and brainstorming ideas.....this is gonna be my escape I dreamed about in the hospital during diagnosis.....YES! And i miss my sister and there isn't a person i'd rather go with to explore with..... :) So I'm super excited to go and GET AWAY from this crazy hectic life I've been living these past 7 months......no one deserves it or earns it or does anything to go though this.....but tough people get through and island life is going to be WONDERFUL....YAYYY!!
She'll be back hopefully sooner than later and we'll begin our trip planning to visit my brother who will be in GERMANY. it's gonna be a great year for the begay siblings....i know it....since this year has just been awful for all of us....going though this expedience apart. and living through pictures...it's hard at times but it only builds a tougher skin.
hmmmm okay well i'm going to take a sleeping pill because I can go on and on and on.....
tomorrow I'll write more about my 5k experience and just how rough it's been...........just know.....in my head...i was ready to go.....but my body just wouldn't let me. Which is AWFUL.....but now my weight went back down (thank goodness) the water weight is gone.....and everything is getting back to normal....only go back into treatments...next week! nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......
okay i need to take it now or else I'll over sleep. and since i'm not gonna do any work right now.....i need to get to school early. :)
YAY!! here are some pictures.....yay for a nice camera.....:)
more tomorrow...i promise this time! :)
observation station #2....there were 5 all together. this was the phase 1 of our afternoon building activity....they were just exploring why these shapes are weak or strong...and how they can make them stronger etc.....of course with a little math involved.
ANYWAYS.......
So sorry to my readers but these last 7 days have been THE ROUGHEST non-infection days....it's like....oh this is what chemo treatments were suppose to feel like. haha. I'm sooo lucky that it's been smooth sailing to me until now because I can put up with this just ONE MORE TIME.....it has been just awful and today (7 days out) is the first actual day I have energy. Almost too much energy.
I think I'm still way excited about teaching intersession at school...it's technically fall break for OKCPS schools but intersession is three days long and i have extremely small classes. It's funny because all the kids know me but i don't know them....and today I woke up after a two hour sleep....YES two hours....because I sat around my apartment thinking it was Saturday and I had "all day sunday" to work on my lesson plans. then somehow (i don't remember how) it dawned on me....OMG i'm TEACHING tomorrow.....and I have nothing FUN planned. So around 10 I realized this....So i gathered computers (one for music) and one to make my actual lessons for tomorrow. So then what do I do?? Get on Facebook.....what a fail. Then one of my old first year students started talking to me and I got wrapped up in that conversation and directed my attention to being creepy on facebook and looking at others pictures or making a ridiculous status....basically NOT being productive. SO FINALLY around MINDNIGHT i decided....hmmm maybe I should get serious because this morning I had to be up at the Cancer Center BY 8 (if i wanted to get to work on time) to get my day 11 vincristine chemotherapy...no worries...it usually takes only 20 minutes if they're efficient. (more on this later....a whole story on its' own) SO I had to be up by 630 to LEAVE by 730 to compensate for the AM rush down the highway that I usually don't drive. So I started on my rules (these kids have NEVER had me as a teacher) and I have to put my foot down to create a classroom culture that they will hopefully spread via mouth that Miss Begay doens't play around when she means it. Anyways, then since its intersession what kid REALLY wants to be there?? So I did my normal actual lesson I HAVE to do.....got it out of the way and then my FUN lesson.....but with a world of math possibilities......there are too many activities for just THREE DAYS....So i settles on tower building with marshmellows and toothpicks....the kids LOOOOOVE it.....and they're so calm during the activity i'm surprised....but it's only the first day. lol. we didn't get to it because the rules too me a while to explain and i had to emphasize WHY we have to be CLEAN FREAKS....all the kids all "heard" that I had cancer but I guess actually hearing it from me and explaining i have a blood cancer and we talked a bit about what an immune system is and why mine is bad. So I put germ-x on each table and told them to use it....especially when I'm around you....and they HAVE. I'm soo proud of them. Because one kid when he came back from break said....okay miss begay I touched the door to go outside and I noticed how many people actually touched the door and how many girls I hugged....so don't come near me....I NEED GERM-x......this is why i love 8th graders.
They were just so funny and It put me at ease that they actually listened to me and understood.....and to make it all worse....since I woke up so early.....went without a wig today at school.....a little of a shock to the kids....and one kid even said....uhh miss begay....the last time you were here....you had hair. The kids were all like.....gasssspppp......and I had to explain to them that I love wigs but just like them....there are days that I like to be lazy...and you're gonna see me like this quite a bit....because I'm OKAY that I have cancer and it'll grow back......i joked around about not having to buy shampoo or conditioner or hair products for 7 months....and they thought it was funny. So I guess them actually seeing me comfortable with myself and being funny around them.....makes them more comfortable for me....and I know they'll remember or talk about "My 8th grade teacher had cancer and I remember seeing her without hair...." and almost comforting others who may just be diagnosed or something.....because they see me in my better days and they can retell stories about me....like running 5k practices....or just joking around with them....sorta long shot expectations but just maybe one day.....it'll comfort someone. I'm just rambling now.....ANYWAYS.......................................
back to my morning.....SO I went to the new cancer center....even got there around 7:45 and UNLESS i have to......i'm never going to schedule a morning appointment......there were SOO many people there....older senior citizens of course....no youngin' in sight....it's TOO early. my nurse already had a full section....or so i heard. So i got there.....I checked in....signed my name....said hi to the usual front desk workers....who know me by name, chart number, image.....everything. I guess i'm there a lot. haha. so anyways....there were like....oh you usually come in the afternoons....this is weird....are you just here for cbc labs?? my thoughts....UUUHHHH NO.......what I actually said "not today...i'm scheduled for my day 11 vincristine/"
they looked at me like I was crazy.
then panicked.
So they said....do the doctors know? Who did you make an appointment with? Luckily I've FINALLY learned to take my discharge papers with me and I showed them the date, time, voicemail for confirmation.....but yet they had NO record of me even coming. So eager to push me aside she said....okay Kim (the other front desk worker) will be here soon she may know a little more....i wasn't here on friday. So I said...oooh okay, understandable. and I was still early. So Kim came in and she was just as confused!!
..being my normal charming self to people i need to get in good with (secretaries especially, they RUN that place). She had a look like...oh yes, i SORT OF remember that but don't...so she said okay let me take care of the others really quick and i'll find out what's going on....so come 8:15.....I was STILL sitting and nothing. So I did the "math" and was like....if I don't leave now I could be LATE to work....so I walked up to the desk where the two secretaries seemed busy and efficient....I said....I have work at 9 about 15-20 minutes away. Is there a way I can come back later this afternoon to get the vincristine? They looked at each other and each said to each other....OH I THOUGHT YOU WERE WORKING ON Kim's STUFF.....OHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOSSSHHHHH.
i thought i was going to lose it. so I had been sitting for 20 minutes with nothing being done. So politely I said....well this will give you guys time to figure out the confusion. So they said okay....and asked me to come back at 3pm. So i said okay and went on my way to school. I wasn't late....i actually got stuff done and taken care of stuff before the kids arrived.
Then come around 3..... first traffic was AWFUL.....and when I got there I was late but i didn't have anything planned the rest of the day so I didn't care if I was there forever. So i was really patient anyway. SO then I checked in....they had my chart ready for me....the nurse came quick to get me....so I was like....okay, they firgured it out.....then I heard the nurses talking.....they had NO IDEA what i was there for. I could hear them talking about me.....almost like I was a crazy person who was making these things about needing chemo and that I like to come to the cancer center and cause chaos. ummm no. And not once did a nurse come and ask me....or request to look at my discharge papers....which apparently don't matter around there. IDK if they think patients have no idea what they're talking about....but this patient does. AND not once did I ever hear....well let me call downstairs (chemo/infusion is on the 3rd floor and Oncology services (my doctor and her nurse)) are on the 2nd floor.....and ask her actual doctor. I mean....to me that makes sense. rather than to rummage through paperwork that they obviously DON'T have.....finally the nurse came back and was talking to me causally and dropped a million questions regarding what they were just talking about....i felt like she was spying on me. Whereas I just wanted her to ask...okay kim, why are you here?? And they had ALLLLLLL day to figure this out.....just baffled me. SO after much talking and being talked about....it finally got ordered and it took (the actually process) about 3 minutes. CRAZY RIGHT?!
so then when I asked them about the confusion....apparently this is normal for them. and I'm not the only patient that shows up with hospital orders...so I guess... lesson learned. now that i'm done for a bit with all these crazy appointment's.
So after all this....my brother will be in town for a few hours tomorrow night....passing though on his way back to NC. so I had to tell the people to get his blood drawn set up.... because i can't afford another day like this...and he's on a time crunch as it is.....so they were sending me up all kinds of stairs to fill out paperwork and try to squeeze him him wednesday morning at 8am....i said....okay....if you don't get him in now....you'll miss your chance for another two years. we trend to do HLA tests through the military....and it's nearly impossible....well it is.....my sister got tested and somehow the results were lost in mid air via fax.....so i guess the urgency was set in and they said...okay we'll get him in. I said okay I have to be at work at 9. and he has to be on the road by 9......
so I got that as ironed out as possible without him being here to sign things....hopefully to make the transition smooth and efficient.
GEEZ what a day...but luckily after this day.....i got some TEXAS ROADHOUSE...YUM! with my friend Debbie and it's always nice to wind down with her or any friend after a long day like I've had.....
it's wonderful.
ALSO IN OTHER NEWS...................MY SISTER AND I BOOKED OUR FLIGHT TO THE US VIRGIN ISLANDS!! yes sir folks.....after 6 hours on the phone talking and catching up and brainstorming ideas.....this is gonna be my escape I dreamed about in the hospital during diagnosis.....YES! And i miss my sister and there isn't a person i'd rather go with to explore with..... :) So I'm super excited to go and GET AWAY from this crazy hectic life I've been living these past 7 months......no one deserves it or earns it or does anything to go though this.....but tough people get through and island life is going to be WONDERFUL....YAYYY!!
She'll be back hopefully sooner than later and we'll begin our trip planning to visit my brother who will be in GERMANY. it's gonna be a great year for the begay siblings....i know it....since this year has just been awful for all of us....going though this expedience apart. and living through pictures...it's hard at times but it only builds a tougher skin.
hmmmm okay well i'm going to take a sleeping pill because I can go on and on and on.....
tomorrow I'll write more about my 5k experience and just how rough it's been...........just know.....in my head...i was ready to go.....but my body just wouldn't let me. Which is AWFUL.....but now my weight went back down (thank goodness) the water weight is gone.....and everything is getting back to normal....only go back into treatments...next week! nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......
okay i need to take it now or else I'll over sleep. and since i'm not gonna do any work right now.....i need to get to school early. :)
YAY!! here are some pictures.....yay for a nice camera.....:)
more tomorrow...i promise this time! :)
i was in the hospital....this last round...this is what i look like with no makeup....no eyebrows :( no eyelashes :( no TAN :( and no bronzer :(......actually i think i have some eye shadow on here......i don't remember....all i know is that you can see the water weight i'm hold onto in my face....haha
my old picc line right before it got removed....it got really infected at the insertion point and this is actually a less gross picture.....it hurt anytime anything touched it.....so cleaning the line (flushing it) everyday.....was a definte task. But they took it out after I had my fever and now i have a pretty one in my other arm......that is clean and hopefully the LAST ONE I HAVE....yayyy!!!
after they took it out....i had a huge hole in my arm...it didn't hurt.....it looked really cool...in a gross kinda way....so why not document? when am i gonna have this again?? all of the dryness looking thing was leftover from the plastic because as soon as they took it out...i snapped a picture. lol. the little scar above the "hole" is a scar leftover from another picc line i had earlier.....yeah i've had like 5 or 6....and 8 attempts.....i'm a picc line EXPERT now.
I take sooo many pills in the hospital......so i started to stash and collect what they give them to me in...and decided to recycle it after I got out....this is what i accumulated in 24 hours......so times this times 5 days.....and you can imagine my secret stash I had in my drawer....heather....you would be proud of my recycling efforts.
my new blanket made by a good friend of mines mom.....I switch between quilts, mini blankets, throws and what ever else has been given to me.....all of them are beautiful....but with hotflashes happening often.....i try to take as little as possible to the hospital....but i DO USE all of the blankets that have been given to me.....and always get compliments on them....so thanks to everyone who has donated to my collection! :) i haven't forgot about the stories i have behind them. :)
i had the ugliest shower curtain....i had to take picture.....this was taken from my bed. talk about privacy....oh well.....i've got over that. quick.
I made all my students decorate a name plate to place in front of them here are some examples....becasue i'm terrible at names....their only instructions were.....MAKE SURE THEY'RE PRETTY....I DON'T LIKE UGLY THINGS....hahaha.....i crack myself up. i LOVE THEM though. :) oh and i said to make them big enough because i can't see and glasses look weird on me so I don't want to look funny so i don't wear them. haha.....
morning "fun" activity #1......spaghetti bridges.....idk why it's soo cool for pennies to drop everywhere when the bridge breaks......but i think they liked it...notice the germ-x at the table.... :) YAY!
these boys were so into it....still just observing and writing notes about the their observations...
another close up at station #1. how cute are my station signs??
i'm glad my 4am details paid off...haha.
the challenge was to build a freestanding structure on their own with their knowledge of all the weak vs. strong shapes....this group built more out then up.....but they got the idea...tomorrow they're going to perfect it! and make it taller!! we ran out of time. :)
what a day...
i'm beat.
i need rest....
can you believe it...202 days ago......we've all been a long way on this crazy different journey together......
without all of my loyal 202 day readers......idk how i would've got through this with the ease that i did.
and what's funny is that i don't know everyone who has been "following me" it's like a i learn someone new who says....OMG i keep up with your blogs.....that just makes my day.
and sorry for my ridiculous rants sometimes. haha....i will admit i read old blogs and see what i was up to.....and i was like...WOW....i'm weird. haha
okay GOOD NIGHT. love you all i'm getting tired now.'
much love.
kim :)
Monday, October 10, 2011
Day 195: 4 days
I have four days to prepare for my 5k....granted my hemoglobin is up I think I can physically push myself through pain and run the whole thing.....my only goal. I don't care if a granny pace three legged dog passes me....I'm going to attempt to JOG the whole thing. I hear the course itself has some hills but....I'm gonna try. Because at this point my 39/40 minute 5k I was running in May.....ain't happening. yes I typed ain't. My friend Emily reminded me how much my body has physically went through and I guess it makes sense. Its probably because I don't really FEEL it when I'm in the hospital (only when I get fevers) so it's just something I never think about. I mean, I feel okay, I act okay, I get a bit tired than normal.....so it just doesn't make sense...to me. But I gots to slow my roll and take it one step at a time. But don't get me wrong.....I'll be up and running a marathon sometime this year....or at least a half.
So after my awful day 1 in the hospital things got better. They drew blood cultures for a couple days and one came back positive....or negative....whichever is the bad one.....so they just said a week of antibiotics at home orally (no via IV....thank GOODNESS) will clear me right up. I get to go home a lot earlier than I thought.....TODAY.....just as soon as my nurse types up my discharge papers.....but I've learned not to get my hopes up too much or too quick because those suckers can take FOREVER. So my room looks the same, I think I'm going to shower here because I know as soon as I get home I'm going to want to light some fall scented candles, change into comfortable clothes, pop into starbucks for a carmel something, and turn on my heater....and sit.
But I can't get too comfortable because I got to make a trip to the wig store and also get a white count booster shot at the cancer center around 3. Now that I got a fancy camera I can take a little better pictures of what it looks like because everyone needs to see this place!
Also....i just realized that my donation page link was messed up~!! nooooooooo! But don't worry, I think I got it figured out.....so here....if I'm correct, is the donation page to the breast cancer run I'm doing this weekend. If you feel like giving back a little, this is a great cause and it's tax deductible! and if this link doesn't work.....well.....idk what to say.
https://secure.info-komen.org/site/Donation2?6303.donation=form1&idb=1517196331&df_id=6303&FR_ID=2128&PROXY_ID=8856398&PROXY_TYPE=20
Okay well I'm going to shower and start moving around.....even though this bed is way warm....i got to get out of this place...........
ONE MORE ROUND...............................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
much love,
kim
So after my awful day 1 in the hospital things got better. They drew blood cultures for a couple days and one came back positive....or negative....whichever is the bad one.....so they just said a week of antibiotics at home orally (no via IV....thank GOODNESS) will clear me right up. I get to go home a lot earlier than I thought.....TODAY.....just as soon as my nurse types up my discharge papers.....but I've learned not to get my hopes up too much or too quick because those suckers can take FOREVER. So my room looks the same, I think I'm going to shower here because I know as soon as I get home I'm going to want to light some fall scented candles, change into comfortable clothes, pop into starbucks for a carmel something, and turn on my heater....and sit.
But I can't get too comfortable because I got to make a trip to the wig store and also get a white count booster shot at the cancer center around 3. Now that I got a fancy camera I can take a little better pictures of what it looks like because everyone needs to see this place!
Also....i just realized that my donation page link was messed up~!! nooooooooo! But don't worry, I think I got it figured out.....so here....if I'm correct, is the donation page to the breast cancer run I'm doing this weekend. If you feel like giving back a little, this is a great cause and it's tax deductible! and if this link doesn't work.....well.....idk what to say.
https://secure.info-komen.org/site/Donation2?6303.donation=form1&idb=1517196331&df_id=6303&FR_ID=2128&PROXY_ID=8856398&PROXY_TYPE=20
Okay well I'm going to shower and start moving around.....even though this bed is way warm....i got to get out of this place...........
ONE MORE ROUND...............................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
much love,
kim
Friday, October 7, 2011
Day 192: But I was doing so well.....
Alright well I'm back in the hospital. I got the "your bed is ready" call at 8:30am yesterday and of course...half asleep I said okay, see you soon, and went back to sleep. lol. I then met up with a fellow teacher friend DeAnn at Northwest Classen (where the blood drive was being held) and my intention was to pop in a little during a class that she had some of my old students but....i realized I needed gas....got to the gas station.....then realized that I didn't have my wallet because I switched purses that morning! So needless to say I was late and got there during lunch time. oh well, I then met up with one of my students who showed me to where I was going....well kinda we were just wandering around looking for a room number and talking. We talked about him being freshman class president and all his current projects. it made me happy to know that he loved what he was doing and that he was actually excited and enthusiastic about it! :) We finally ran into who we were looking for and she then showed me through the school and we went into the gym where they were holding the blood drive and it was so cool seeing the students work the table up front and giving directions and even seeing how many students and staff were giving their blood unselfishly (is that a word??).
After that, I went to McDonalds to eat and got me a 20 piece chicken nugget and a large sweet tea for my lunch/dinner....and then zoomed to the hospital to check in. The check in process was pretty smooth. I had three bags vs. one large bag and one small bag this time....plus a pillow, a blanket, and a laptop....so I was sort of struggling to make it to the different floors. but I still got here. Once I got settled in (BTW always feels like my first day of freshman year in college moving into the dorms....weird?) I waited around for my nurse who came to do lab draws about an hour later. then a student doc came to talk to me and he was nice but seemed nervous so i messed with him a little bit with some of my answers and he finally loosened up. Then a resident doctor came in to talk and do a quick exam and ask a few of her questions. the whole thing took another hour. Then once I started to actually settle in, I watched my Jersey Shore I missed from LAST WEEK....and once again kept getting interrupted. Transportation was at my door and they were taking me down to radiology for chest xrays.....one of many procedures ordered by my Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) doctor....the beginning of the "testing" series to see if my body is able to handle a transplant. Even though I know it can. :)
So then when I got back I continued my Jersey Shore stuff and watched a little more mindless MTV shows as they started my first dose of chemo....then 15 minutes later (8:49 pm) it hit......I got the chills.....I got SO COLD that I couldn't stop shivering. I was going to call my chemo nurse but my eyesight is so bad that I couldn't read the board to see her number and I was too cold to move so I figured she'd be in to check on me soon so I toughed it out....it only lasted 10 minutes...but when you're that cold 10 minutes is like 10 hours. I got the strength to move my laptop from my table stand to my bed so i can create a mini hot fan to blow into my covers....you know that annoying fan that gets too hot when you hold your laptop in lap....yup that's what I use to create heat in a discrete way around here...my nurses just think i'm watching my laptop....nope, i'm creating loop holes when they just give me a sheet to be under....muahahahaha.....hopefully none of my nurses just read that. lol. and if you are a nurse.....don't take away a laptop from a patient....at that point with a sheet (if your lucky) and the feeling that your in alaska hanging out in a glacier for no reason....is probably one of the worst feelings in the WORLD. ugh. Anyways, after that.....the chills and shakes went away then what's worse than alaska in a glacier?? that's right the heat in the middle of the summer in Yuma Arizona.....i can only compare this because I've been there at that time....awful. I got sooooo hot that I was chugging ice cold water and drank all of the pitcher they gave me. I had to get up and walk a little to cool my bed down but my head was throbbing and I felt a little light headed (keep in mind I only ate ONCE yesterday). So I went to the restroom, washed my face and brushed my teeth, and laid back down....then in came my happy nurse. I told her what i had just experienced and she took my vitals and my temp was 104!!! ahhhhhhhhh......
I told her how hot I was and she took my temp a few more times and still nothing. so she called the doctors on call and they ordered a chest x-ray and started me antibiotics. meanwhile the chemo was still going so I guess it wasn't that bad. I told her later on I had a headache and she gave me two Tylenol's and I was ready to go to sleep. I turned on my laptop and was listening to music and she came back in around 11 and said...oh Kim you were my favorite patient but you're making me work tonight girl......lol. She had to draw MORE blood from me for blood cultures.....which happens every time I get a fever. She draws a mini ketchup size bottle of blood from my picc line and then another mini ketchup bottle straight from my vein.... :( so I was stuck with a needle but thankfully she is good at it so it was only a pinch.
Then all night was just awful because I was so uncomfortably hot. I kept tossing and turning but when you have two tubes running through your left arm of highly toxic stuff....it's hard to move as you please. and to make it worse i HATE hospital beds. they move every minute and its loud and it makes you sink in your bed and when you readjust you pretty much sink back to where you were unless you can wait for it to move. So I did what I always do when I get this hot and all the nurses laugh at me for it. I laid the other way in my bed. that's not weird right? I put my head where my feet was and my feet where my head was. For some reason everytime I do this...nurses come in....laugh....and say, Kim, what are you doing?? Then I have to explain to them the stupid-ness of the bed and that it'll cool me off....and sure enough....it did and i was out. i slept without a blanket for the majority of the night and as soon as i cooled off around 5am when the nurse came in for my morning labs I tuned back around and put ONE blanket back on me and fell asleep until my first doctor came in....and the only one i saw today....usually I see like 4 before the whole team makes their round....but i'm not complaining at all.
Anyways, it was a hard night but I got through it and feel a lot better today. I got my breakfast in me and now I'm going to catch back up on my jersey shore that I missed last night because I was too busy shaking and shivering.
today is also lumbar puncture/intrathecal chemo day.......noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! That means (for those who aren't dedicated Kim Begay Blog followers) I will have a small dose of chemo inserted into my spinal fluid that will travel up into my brain area and hang out up there (much like how chemo hangs out in my body for a bit....) to ensure that they are in fact inserting into my spinal chord....some spinal fluid will be drawn out and it's sometimes tested to make sure it's cancer free. The last time...and pretty much every time I got it done it was so I'm not too worried about it. I just hate theses because this is the ONLY time I get nauseous sick and throw up. I know it's coming and there is always the fear of them missing and messing up my nervous system again.....remember the horrible neck cramps?? ugh.
Anyways, I'm about to eat some hash browns with some buffalo wild wing sauce....lol (thanks heather for the suggestion!) and a toasted bagel....along with a fresh fruit plate.....yum! I'll try to update later on how things go. pray for me and think happy thoughts for me this afternoon.....
much love,
kim
After that, I went to McDonalds to eat and got me a 20 piece chicken nugget and a large sweet tea for my lunch/dinner....and then zoomed to the hospital to check in. The check in process was pretty smooth. I had three bags vs. one large bag and one small bag this time....plus a pillow, a blanket, and a laptop....so I was sort of struggling to make it to the different floors. but I still got here. Once I got settled in (BTW always feels like my first day of freshman year in college moving into the dorms....weird?) I waited around for my nurse who came to do lab draws about an hour later. then a student doc came to talk to me and he was nice but seemed nervous so i messed with him a little bit with some of my answers and he finally loosened up. Then a resident doctor came in to talk and do a quick exam and ask a few of her questions. the whole thing took another hour. Then once I started to actually settle in, I watched my Jersey Shore I missed from LAST WEEK....and once again kept getting interrupted. Transportation was at my door and they were taking me down to radiology for chest xrays.....one of many procedures ordered by my Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) doctor....the beginning of the "testing" series to see if my body is able to handle a transplant. Even though I know it can. :)
So then when I got back I continued my Jersey Shore stuff and watched a little more mindless MTV shows as they started my first dose of chemo....then 15 minutes later (8:49 pm) it hit......I got the chills.....I got SO COLD that I couldn't stop shivering. I was going to call my chemo nurse but my eyesight is so bad that I couldn't read the board to see her number and I was too cold to move so I figured she'd be in to check on me soon so I toughed it out....it only lasted 10 minutes...but when you're that cold 10 minutes is like 10 hours. I got the strength to move my laptop from my table stand to my bed so i can create a mini hot fan to blow into my covers....you know that annoying fan that gets too hot when you hold your laptop in lap....yup that's what I use to create heat in a discrete way around here...my nurses just think i'm watching my laptop....nope, i'm creating loop holes when they just give me a sheet to be under....muahahahaha.....hopefully none of my nurses just read that. lol. and if you are a nurse.....don't take away a laptop from a patient....at that point with a sheet (if your lucky) and the feeling that your in alaska hanging out in a glacier for no reason....is probably one of the worst feelings in the WORLD. ugh. Anyways, after that.....the chills and shakes went away then what's worse than alaska in a glacier?? that's right the heat in the middle of the summer in Yuma Arizona.....i can only compare this because I've been there at that time....awful. I got sooooo hot that I was chugging ice cold water and drank all of the pitcher they gave me. I had to get up and walk a little to cool my bed down but my head was throbbing and I felt a little light headed (keep in mind I only ate ONCE yesterday). So I went to the restroom, washed my face and brushed my teeth, and laid back down....then in came my happy nurse. I told her what i had just experienced and she took my vitals and my temp was 104!!! ahhhhhhhhh......
I told her how hot I was and she took my temp a few more times and still nothing. so she called the doctors on call and they ordered a chest x-ray and started me antibiotics. meanwhile the chemo was still going so I guess it wasn't that bad. I told her later on I had a headache and she gave me two Tylenol's and I was ready to go to sleep. I turned on my laptop and was listening to music and she came back in around 11 and said...oh Kim you were my favorite patient but you're making me work tonight girl......lol. She had to draw MORE blood from me for blood cultures.....which happens every time I get a fever. She draws a mini ketchup size bottle of blood from my picc line and then another mini ketchup bottle straight from my vein.... :( so I was stuck with a needle but thankfully she is good at it so it was only a pinch.
Then all night was just awful because I was so uncomfortably hot. I kept tossing and turning but when you have two tubes running through your left arm of highly toxic stuff....it's hard to move as you please. and to make it worse i HATE hospital beds. they move every minute and its loud and it makes you sink in your bed and when you readjust you pretty much sink back to where you were unless you can wait for it to move. So I did what I always do when I get this hot and all the nurses laugh at me for it. I laid the other way in my bed. that's not weird right? I put my head where my feet was and my feet where my head was. For some reason everytime I do this...nurses come in....laugh....and say, Kim, what are you doing?? Then I have to explain to them the stupid-ness of the bed and that it'll cool me off....and sure enough....it did and i was out. i slept without a blanket for the majority of the night and as soon as i cooled off around 5am when the nurse came in for my morning labs I tuned back around and put ONE blanket back on me and fell asleep until my first doctor came in....and the only one i saw today....usually I see like 4 before the whole team makes their round....but i'm not complaining at all.
Anyways, it was a hard night but I got through it and feel a lot better today. I got my breakfast in me and now I'm going to catch back up on my jersey shore that I missed last night because I was too busy shaking and shivering.
today is also lumbar puncture/intrathecal chemo day.......noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! That means (for those who aren't dedicated Kim Begay Blog followers) I will have a small dose of chemo inserted into my spinal fluid that will travel up into my brain area and hang out up there (much like how chemo hangs out in my body for a bit....) to ensure that they are in fact inserting into my spinal chord....some spinal fluid will be drawn out and it's sometimes tested to make sure it's cancer free. The last time...and pretty much every time I got it done it was so I'm not too worried about it. I just hate theses because this is the ONLY time I get nauseous sick and throw up. I know it's coming and there is always the fear of them missing and messing up my nervous system again.....remember the horrible neck cramps?? ugh.
Anyways, I'm about to eat some hash browns with some buffalo wild wing sauce....lol (thanks heather for the suggestion!) and a toasted bagel....along with a fresh fruit plate.....yum! I'll try to update later on how things go. pray for me and think happy thoughts for me this afternoon.....
much love,
kim
Momma LJ would be sooooo proud of her mini for decorating!! :) I know I was.
awwww!!! My students (who i have yet to teach) made me this beautiful sign for my birthday. :)
Why yes everyone should know that it's all about me on my birthday.....
MORE BALLOONS!!!! and making a very important birthday wish. :)
another of the many pictures my friend a-rod took of me with my new favorite wig as part of another one of his impromptu photo shoots he does..... He's the one who took my pictures in the hospital when I was angry. (see profile pic on top right)
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Day 190: 365 days until my birthday.... :)
I had a great day yesterday. It was really relaxing. I woke up and went for a run with my friend emily. We ran a few laps around the apartment complex and it was something that I needed. I was so tired and it was hard to get out of bed but...i managed. Then I came back to my place, took a shower, then didn't go back to sleep! crazy right? Then I met a friend for lunch around noon at BJ's. It was DELICIOUS.....THEN, since I was already by the mall I went and bought a few things at Forever 21. After that, I ran around running errands and even made a visit to the American Cancer Society- OKC chapter and it was very informative. I even got a free wig out of it....HUMAN hair at that. After a long visit i went and updated my US Cellular contract and I got a sweet new android phone.....it's really hard for me to learn and I feel like I need another degree to understand everything. Kinda how I felt when I first got my blackberry. After that I went home and took a quick nap before meeting up with some teacher friends at a house and they threw me a mini birthday party....complete with queso, crunchy tacos, spanish rice, and red velvet cupcakes! I got a lot of balloons and some fun gifts. :)
Also my sister hooked me up with some pretty sweet gifts....all the way from Afghanistan. :) She got me a day at the spa gift certificate. I set up my appointment and even got to tour the facility. Everything was pink, blingy, and it smelled so good in there! I'm pretty excited about it....I just have to have a doctors "release" note to say it's okay for me to get a massage. :) YAYY!! :)
So anyways, I had a good birthday. :)
As for chemo....I'm going in tomorrow (for real this time) and I won't get out until Monday. So I'll miss the WHOLE weekend....and it's OU/TEXAS weekend. how lame. But luckily, a friend of mine has offered to bring me HOT WINGS...mmmm.....and watch the game with me. She's awesome.
So i had the weirdest thing happen to me today. All day I've been laying around not doing much. I didn't even go outside. So around 7, I was watching the cosby show on netflix and all of a sudden I got COLD. I started to shiver and everything. Of course, I got worried because my head felt heavy and I couldn't get warm at all. So I changed into some sweats and laid under my covers on my couch. Then, I wasn't warming up so I put on some socks and grabbed my heating pad and tried to get warm. I put on a warm hat because I still couldn't get warm. THEN i took my temperature because this feeling was the same as when I was shivering in the hospital for an infection....so this scared me. but it happened so sudden. Then I noticed that it wasn't really sunny outside so I figured that the temperature outside had just went down and my huge sliding door was making it cold inside. So then I turned the HEATER on and went to sleep. Next thing I knew, I woke up HOTTER THAN THE SUN. I got up to get some cod water and a wash cloth for my forehead and when I woke up I felt a little weak....and heavy.....if that makes sense. My head was hurting and I couldn't seem to get cool. I was fanning myself and even changed back into shorts and a tshirt.... I then turned down the heater and STILL was burning up. it was so uncomfortable. Finally I turned on my ceiling fan and cooled down a little. I took some tylenol (usually what they give me in the hospital when I get "fevers") and even a benadryl so I can just knock myself out and sleep it off.....After about 10 minutes, my body temperature finally came down and now I'm fine. I took my temperature and it was normal....well normal for me....96.2.....my temperature runs low these days probably because of my head. but all is well now, nothing to worry about. :)
OKAY well nothing else has happened. my 5k is on the 15th.....and TOMORROW IS A BLOOD DRIVE AT NORTHWEST CLASSEN HIGH SCHOOL. THE BLOOD DRIVE will be "in my honor" so if you have time....go out and donate. :)
well, that's it for today....i'm about to fix myself some food and hopefully the benadryl will kick in. :)
kim
here is a picture from my birthday...i was singing along with everyone and pointing to me when they would say, happy birthday to kim....muahahahaha!
Also my sister hooked me up with some pretty sweet gifts....all the way from Afghanistan. :) She got me a day at the spa gift certificate. I set up my appointment and even got to tour the facility. Everything was pink, blingy, and it smelled so good in there! I'm pretty excited about it....I just have to have a doctors "release" note to say it's okay for me to get a massage. :) YAYY!! :)
So anyways, I had a good birthday. :)
As for chemo....I'm going in tomorrow (for real this time) and I won't get out until Monday. So I'll miss the WHOLE weekend....and it's OU/TEXAS weekend. how lame. But luckily, a friend of mine has offered to bring me HOT WINGS...mmmm.....and watch the game with me. She's awesome.
So i had the weirdest thing happen to me today. All day I've been laying around not doing much. I didn't even go outside. So around 7, I was watching the cosby show on netflix and all of a sudden I got COLD. I started to shiver and everything. Of course, I got worried because my head felt heavy and I couldn't get warm at all. So I changed into some sweats and laid under my covers on my couch. Then, I wasn't warming up so I put on some socks and grabbed my heating pad and tried to get warm. I put on a warm hat because I still couldn't get warm. THEN i took my temperature because this feeling was the same as when I was shivering in the hospital for an infection....so this scared me. but it happened so sudden. Then I noticed that it wasn't really sunny outside so I figured that the temperature outside had just went down and my huge sliding door was making it cold inside. So then I turned the HEATER on and went to sleep. Next thing I knew, I woke up HOTTER THAN THE SUN. I got up to get some cod water and a wash cloth for my forehead and when I woke up I felt a little weak....and heavy.....if that makes sense. My head was hurting and I couldn't seem to get cool. I was fanning myself and even changed back into shorts and a tshirt.... I then turned down the heater and STILL was burning up. it was so uncomfortable. Finally I turned on my ceiling fan and cooled down a little. I took some tylenol (usually what they give me in the hospital when I get "fevers") and even a benadryl so I can just knock myself out and sleep it off.....After about 10 minutes, my body temperature finally came down and now I'm fine. I took my temperature and it was normal....well normal for me....96.2.....my temperature runs low these days probably because of my head. but all is well now, nothing to worry about. :)
OKAY well nothing else has happened. my 5k is on the 15th.....and TOMORROW IS A BLOOD DRIVE AT NORTHWEST CLASSEN HIGH SCHOOL. THE BLOOD DRIVE will be "in my honor" so if you have time....go out and donate. :)
well, that's it for today....i'm about to fix myself some food and hopefully the benadryl will kick in. :)
kim
here is a picture from my birthday...i was singing along with everyone and pointing to me when they would say, happy birthday to kim....muahahahaha!
photo by a fellow teacher. :)
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Day 189: 25
My personal opinion.....25 never looked so good.
I'm happy. I'm blessed. I'm thankful.
Happy 25th Birthday to Me!
(more blog later when I wake up)
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Day 187: In-FOUR-mation
I'm so clever....in case you didn't get my headline.....my birthday is on the FOURTH....AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :)
Anyways, a couple....well a lot of people have been asking about the possibility of donating their bone marrow....or at least checking to see if they MAY be a match for me (in case my brother isn't) and first of all....let me say....thank you. It means the world to me that I have friends who would step up and do that for me. I about cry everytime people say, "I'll give you my bone marrow if I need to." I really wish it was that easy but it's not.....I know I have friends out there who would if they could...in a drop of a hat. Your support is the reason that I have this new positive outlook on life. It's too precious to have it filled with negativity and people I don't want around. It really CAN be too short and I don't want to waste my time. Anyways, here is the website to look at IF you are considering being a match. I don't know exactly if you can say, "HI...i'm being tested for Kimberly Begay to see if she and I are a match." I guess that's something to ask if I ever get a hold of them.
http://marrow.org/Home.aspx
ALSO, on October 6th....which is a THURSDAY....Northwest Classen High School (NW 30th and May) is having a blood drive for me. I don't really know the details yet but as soon as I figure out the times and what not, I will be sure to post it. I imagine it will be from 11-1 or something like that. All the blood donations will go towards a credit bank for me to help reduce the cost of blood transfusions that I have had or will have in the future. So if you can, spread the word, tell your neighbors, tell your co workers, tell your dogs??, tell EVERYONE who is willing and able to donate to go out and at least get a free cookie! lol.... I would greatly appreciate it and my wallet would too. :D
Hmmm.....one more thing.....on the 15th of October I will be running in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k....YAY!!! They also have a 1 mile fun run/walk. So if you're not doing anything.....you should sign up!!
http://centralwesternok.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/OKC_CentralandWesternOklahomaAffiliate?fr_id=2128&pg=entry
That's all I got for today.....I'm feeling pretty good. My eyes have been hurting lately....but I think it's from my lack of sleep. the insertion point on my arm where my picc line is infected. :( it hurts when I move my arm around and changing clothes gets tricky. luckily i'm going to the hospital tomorrow so the nurses can look at it. My mouth sores went away.....I gained like 8 lbs....uggghhhhhh.....but it should go back away after this round of chemo. All this weight fluctuation isn't very good for my ego. haha....but oh well, it's normal....either that or the nurses were just making me feel better. I think I got a pretty good allergy attack on Friday because my nose has been running ever since and I've been sneezing a lot. My throat was also hurting and a little sore on friday and saturday but it was nothing a little orange juice wouldn't fix. :) it's better now...it made me a little nervous at first because i was afraid of getting sick....but I guess my white counts were high enough so all is GOOD. :)
Today I had a good day. I drove back from tulsa around 8am....I stayed with my long time friend vanessa overnight after hanging out at Buffalo Wild Wings watching her be the Karaoke Jockey (V-LO) lol. It's always nice to see old friends. I enjoyed myself. Then I was invited to church with my friend Emily and her wonderful parents who took me out to lunch after the service. It was a good birthday brunch that I needed to cheer myself up a little about going into the hospital. I came back, fell asleep on my couch, cleaned up a bit, watched a movie, then went for a good 2.6ish mile run with two other taft teachers....it has been a blessed day. :)
okay well I'm packing tonight in case I get another EARLY AM call to go into the hospital. And I gotta pack some birthday stuff because....my birthday is in TWO....count em....UNO....TWO....DAYS!!! :)
it's going to be a pretty boring birthday....but I'm okay with that. at least i'm celebrating it. :)
My friend Alex said...."I feel like birthdays have a whole new meaning..." and they really do. before they were an excuse to have a party and be obnoxious....and for me....ending every sentence with...it's my birthday....but now....it's so much more than that. It's truly a celebration of life. I about cried when I saw the Cancer commercial of people singing happy birthday......too much for me. LOL.
Alright well, I hope everyone has a fabulous week ahead of them. be thankful. :)
much love,
kim
ONE MORE THING...........................
Dear Friends and Family,
I recently accepted the challenge to raise funds to support the Central and Western Oklahoma Affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure in its efforts to fight this horrific disease and hopefully help out patients out who are in need. I will also take part in the 5k race as part of this program
Please help support me in this important project by contributing generously to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Central and Western Oklahoma Affiliate. Your contribution will be 100% tax-deductible. It is faster and easier than ever to support this great cause - you can make your donation online by simply clicking on the link at the bottom of this message.
Whatever you can give will help it all adds up! I greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.
To donate online, click here.
Anyways, a couple....well a lot of people have been asking about the possibility of donating their bone marrow....or at least checking to see if they MAY be a match for me (in case my brother isn't) and first of all....let me say....thank you. It means the world to me that I have friends who would step up and do that for me. I about cry everytime people say, "I'll give you my bone marrow if I need to." I really wish it was that easy but it's not.....I know I have friends out there who would if they could...in a drop of a hat. Your support is the reason that I have this new positive outlook on life. It's too precious to have it filled with negativity and people I don't want around. It really CAN be too short and I don't want to waste my time. Anyways, here is the website to look at IF you are considering being a match. I don't know exactly if you can say, "HI...i'm being tested for Kimberly Begay to see if she and I are a match." I guess that's something to ask if I ever get a hold of them.
http://marrow.org/Home.aspx
ALSO, on October 6th....which is a THURSDAY....Northwest Classen High School (NW 30th and May) is having a blood drive for me. I don't really know the details yet but as soon as I figure out the times and what not, I will be sure to post it. I imagine it will be from 11-1 or something like that. All the blood donations will go towards a credit bank for me to help reduce the cost of blood transfusions that I have had or will have in the future. So if you can, spread the word, tell your neighbors, tell your co workers, tell your dogs??, tell EVERYONE who is willing and able to donate to go out and at least get a free cookie! lol.... I would greatly appreciate it and my wallet would too. :D
Hmmm.....one more thing.....on the 15th of October I will be running in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k....YAY!!! They also have a 1 mile fun run/walk. So if you're not doing anything.....you should sign up!!
http://centralwesternok.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/OKC_CentralandWesternOklahomaAffiliate?fr_id=2128&pg=entry
That's all I got for today.....I'm feeling pretty good. My eyes have been hurting lately....but I think it's from my lack of sleep. the insertion point on my arm where my picc line is infected. :( it hurts when I move my arm around and changing clothes gets tricky. luckily i'm going to the hospital tomorrow so the nurses can look at it. My mouth sores went away.....I gained like 8 lbs....uggghhhhhh.....but it should go back away after this round of chemo. All this weight fluctuation isn't very good for my ego. haha....but oh well, it's normal....either that or the nurses were just making me feel better. I think I got a pretty good allergy attack on Friday because my nose has been running ever since and I've been sneezing a lot. My throat was also hurting and a little sore on friday and saturday but it was nothing a little orange juice wouldn't fix. :) it's better now...it made me a little nervous at first because i was afraid of getting sick....but I guess my white counts were high enough so all is GOOD. :)
Today I had a good day. I drove back from tulsa around 8am....I stayed with my long time friend vanessa overnight after hanging out at Buffalo Wild Wings watching her be the Karaoke Jockey (V-LO) lol. It's always nice to see old friends. I enjoyed myself. Then I was invited to church with my friend Emily and her wonderful parents who took me out to lunch after the service. It was a good birthday brunch that I needed to cheer myself up a little about going into the hospital. I came back, fell asleep on my couch, cleaned up a bit, watched a movie, then went for a good 2.6ish mile run with two other taft teachers....it has been a blessed day. :)
okay well I'm packing tonight in case I get another EARLY AM call to go into the hospital. And I gotta pack some birthday stuff because....my birthday is in TWO....count em....UNO....TWO....DAYS!!! :)
it's going to be a pretty boring birthday....but I'm okay with that. at least i'm celebrating it. :)
My friend Alex said...."I feel like birthdays have a whole new meaning..." and they really do. before they were an excuse to have a party and be obnoxious....and for me....ending every sentence with...it's my birthday....but now....it's so much more than that. It's truly a celebration of life. I about cried when I saw the Cancer commercial of people singing happy birthday......too much for me. LOL.
Alright well, I hope everyone has a fabulous week ahead of them. be thankful. :)
much love,
kim
ONE MORE THING...........................
Dear Friends and Family,
I recently accepted the challenge to raise funds to support the Central and Western Oklahoma Affiliate of Susan G. Komen for the Cure in its efforts to fight this horrific disease and hopefully help out patients out who are in need. I will also take part in the 5k race as part of this program
Please help support me in this important project by contributing generously to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Central and Western Oklahoma Affiliate. Your contribution will be 100% tax-deductible. It is faster and easier than ever to support this great cause - you can make your donation online by simply clicking on the link at the bottom of this message.
Whatever you can give will help it all adds up! I greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.
To donate online, click here.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Day 185: Oh great....i'm a horrible test taker....
I LOVE OCTOBER!!!! MY birthday is here, football is in full swing, halloween decorations make me happy, haunted houses are back, the heat is going away, and fall smells make your house smell so good....mmmmm.
Anyways, I met with my doctor......who isn't a new doctor....I'll always have my oncologist.....the new doctor I met is my new bone marrow transplant doctor. She spoke with me about my options and I got some sad news.
FIRST, in order to get a transplant my body has to pass a few tests.....a heart test, lung test, liver test, kidney test....my bone marrow has to be clear of cancer cells.....and my lymph nodes have to be clear of cancer cells too. Once I finish those tests I need a donor. Unfortunately my sister was NOT a match for me so now they're going after my brother to check if he is a match. If he is NOT a match then I'd go on a donor list and wait. during the waiting process I'll go in for chemo every month and pray I don't relapse....because if I do....the WHOLE chemo process that I'm finishing up now.....will start all over again. ugh, can you imagine?
IF my brother is a match....AND i pass all my tests.....I'll go through with a transplant.....when?? Well...that's the tricky part. I'll have TWO options....
option numero ONE.....go through with the transplant ASAP (doctor recommends) and be disconnected from the world for 8 weeks. Yeah, that's all fine and dandy.....BUT.....unfortunately I have things called a job, medical bills, rent, utility bills, my precious cat einstein, and oh yeah, I'd like to eat too. So having all these.....realistically.....i can't afford to go through with a transplant now...unless I go to vegas and win the lottery.....that would be awesome.
which brings me to....
option numero TWO......I can wait until the summer when teachers are off (i love my profession!) and do the whole transplant thing all summer long. The risk with that is......i could relapse between now and then and yes....you guessed it.....I'd have to start chemo treatments ALLLLLLL over again. yuck. until I go back into remission....then I'd immediately get a transplant at that point. But if i don't I'll still be doing once a month chemo for a couple months waiting for summer to come back.
out of those options....i like #2 the best....right now. Also my sister will be back from Afghanistan so I'd have her here with me through it. which is probably what I'll need because the transplant is going to be rough.
NEXT....the procedure it self.....for the donor (hopefully my brother) it's a pretty simple one week (recovery included) procedure. He would have two options...
option #1....get lots of blood drawn........problem is....my brother hates needles so i don't think he'll choose this one.
option #2....be put to sleep.....and the actual bone marrow would be drawn from his hip, he'll be giving up something equivalent to four glasses of water....he'll be a lot more sore from this but this is also the option the doctor prefers.....
after his end of the deal....he'll need a few days off for the "pain" to wear off and he'll be on his happy way.
On my end of the transplant....I'll start with 5 days of intense chemo....much like what i've been getting but a lot more extreme. My blood counts will be knocked down to zero and my immune system....gone. I'll then have a two day fluid flush time....and then the actual "transplant" will happen. The BM will be put inside of me through my picc line and the waiting then begins.....my body will hopefully take the BM and not reject it or see it as foreign....and if it does....it's called grapht vs. host disease.....google it. basically my body might attack itself....this is more common if I get a random person who is a match rather than my brother who would be considered an identical twin match.
I'll spend at least 4-5 weeks in the hospital but it could be as long as 8.....depending how well I do....and with my history....i'll SHOCK everyone and be out in 3 weeks!!! :)
NOW.....cost......transplants are extremely expensive....as in 6 figures or more expensive.....so I'll have TWO more options....
option #1....take it like a man and just be in debt forever and ever.....
option #2.....be part of a research study....take a few extra pills....no big deal.....and it's free. I'll still have the same doctor and everything but i'll just be a lab rat. ;)
for me....i like option #2.....because i'm single oklahoma teacher.....if i never spent any money the rest of my life and never ate....or shopped.....I still wouldn't be able to pay it off with my salary. awesome. but let's just find a donor first then I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
tAND NOW......the sad news......after a transplant.......let's just get this over with......I basically won't be able to have kids. :( :( :(.........so they're referring me to a fertility specialis to look into the option of freezing some eggs for the future. I did not ask if I would be able to physically carry a child if i chose to....i'll write that down on my question list for when I go......hooooowwever......right now, there is a 50/50 chance that I can even produce an egg because of all the chemo going through me now. So until I meet with a specialist.....i won't know anything. pray for me.
well....that's pretty much the short version of my appointment. it's a lot to take in so i'm taking it day by day and trying not to get overwhelmed......I have my friends here to help me get through it and they've all been absolutely wonderful. IDK what I'd do without them....
anyways, it's october so i need to get up and go out and do something. I have a soccer reunion in Tulsa today around 5 that I want to make it to but we'll see what happens. :)
don't sweat the small things......be thankful.....enjoy your day!
BOOMER!!!
:)
kim
Anyways, I met with my doctor......who isn't a new doctor....I'll always have my oncologist.....the new doctor I met is my new bone marrow transplant doctor. She spoke with me about my options and I got some sad news.
FIRST, in order to get a transplant my body has to pass a few tests.....a heart test, lung test, liver test, kidney test....my bone marrow has to be clear of cancer cells.....and my lymph nodes have to be clear of cancer cells too. Once I finish those tests I need a donor. Unfortunately my sister was NOT a match for me so now they're going after my brother to check if he is a match. If he is NOT a match then I'd go on a donor list and wait. during the waiting process I'll go in for chemo every month and pray I don't relapse....because if I do....the WHOLE chemo process that I'm finishing up now.....will start all over again. ugh, can you imagine?
IF my brother is a match....AND i pass all my tests.....I'll go through with a transplant.....when?? Well...that's the tricky part. I'll have TWO options....
option numero ONE.....go through with the transplant ASAP (doctor recommends) and be disconnected from the world for 8 weeks. Yeah, that's all fine and dandy.....BUT.....unfortunately I have things called a job, medical bills, rent, utility bills, my precious cat einstein, and oh yeah, I'd like to eat too. So having all these.....realistically.....i can't afford to go through with a transplant now...unless I go to vegas and win the lottery.....that would be awesome.
which brings me to....
option numero TWO......I can wait until the summer when teachers are off (i love my profession!) and do the whole transplant thing all summer long. The risk with that is......i could relapse between now and then and yes....you guessed it.....I'd have to start chemo treatments ALLLLLLL over again. yuck. until I go back into remission....then I'd immediately get a transplant at that point. But if i don't I'll still be doing once a month chemo for a couple months waiting for summer to come back.
out of those options....i like #2 the best....right now. Also my sister will be back from Afghanistan so I'd have her here with me through it. which is probably what I'll need because the transplant is going to be rough.
NEXT....the procedure it self.....for the donor (hopefully my brother) it's a pretty simple one week (recovery included) procedure. He would have two options...
option #1....get lots of blood drawn........problem is....my brother hates needles so i don't think he'll choose this one.
option #2....be put to sleep.....and the actual bone marrow would be drawn from his hip, he'll be giving up something equivalent to four glasses of water....he'll be a lot more sore from this but this is also the option the doctor prefers.....
after his end of the deal....he'll need a few days off for the "pain" to wear off and he'll be on his happy way.
On my end of the transplant....I'll start with 5 days of intense chemo....much like what i've been getting but a lot more extreme. My blood counts will be knocked down to zero and my immune system....gone. I'll then have a two day fluid flush time....and then the actual "transplant" will happen. The BM will be put inside of me through my picc line and the waiting then begins.....my body will hopefully take the BM and not reject it or see it as foreign....and if it does....it's called grapht vs. host disease.....google it. basically my body might attack itself....this is more common if I get a random person who is a match rather than my brother who would be considered an identical twin match.
I'll spend at least 4-5 weeks in the hospital but it could be as long as 8.....depending how well I do....and with my history....i'll SHOCK everyone and be out in 3 weeks!!! :)
NOW.....cost......transplants are extremely expensive....as in 6 figures or more expensive.....so I'll have TWO more options....
option #1....take it like a man and just be in debt forever and ever.....
option #2.....be part of a research study....take a few extra pills....no big deal.....and it's free. I'll still have the same doctor and everything but i'll just be a lab rat. ;)
for me....i like option #2.....because i'm single oklahoma teacher.....if i never spent any money the rest of my life and never ate....or shopped.....I still wouldn't be able to pay it off with my salary. awesome. but let's just find a donor first then I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
tAND NOW......the sad news......after a transplant.......let's just get this over with......I basically won't be able to have kids. :( :( :(.........so they're referring me to a fertility specialis to look into the option of freezing some eggs for the future. I did not ask if I would be able to physically carry a child if i chose to....i'll write that down on my question list for when I go......hooooowwever......right now, there is a 50/50 chance that I can even produce an egg because of all the chemo going through me now. So until I meet with a specialist.....i won't know anything. pray for me.
well....that's pretty much the short version of my appointment. it's a lot to take in so i'm taking it day by day and trying not to get overwhelmed......I have my friends here to help me get through it and they've all been absolutely wonderful. IDK what I'd do without them....
anyways, it's october so i need to get up and go out and do something. I have a soccer reunion in Tulsa today around 5 that I want to make it to but we'll see what happens. :)
don't sweat the small things......be thankful.....enjoy your day!
BOOMER!!!
:)
kim
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