Day 234: TGIF and TGFI

Yay for Friday!I don't care who you are and what you do and if you have to go back to work in the morning....Friday feels good. And what's TGFI you ask?? Thank God for Insurance!! Wrds can't being to describe how lucky I am because I have insurance....yes, I complained aout having to pay it every month...but what 22 year old fresh out of college in their first "big person" job wouldn't? well my friends, I'm so glad I didn't skimp on the insurance because it's saving my butt right now.

Okay here's why...well yesterday I was suppose to get a blood transfusion, according to my doctors PA (who called me Wednesday afternoon) but then OU Prebyterian called me and said they didn't have room for me on Thursday so they can do it Friday. I agreed and said see you at 8. They told me it would be a quick process since I just got platelets on Tuesday so I wouldn't have to get typed and screened. Well, now that I'm here....they lied. I showed up with the same blood band that I wore on Tuesday and they still had to draw my blood and now I'm waiting for it to be tested so I can get some blood in me. The whole thing is an hour long process. ANYWAYS....before I got here I figured that I have to check in at the patient admission desk and alla that....but once I got in there, the guy said...oh you have insurance, once you check in for the month, you don't even have to mes with us. You can go strait up to the infusion room.....WHAT?! why did no one tell me this? I know this doesn't seem like a big deal but it really is. Oh and another reason I'm thankful for insurance....on Monday when I was hanging out at the cancer center waiting to be called back to get the regular a regular CBC (complete blood count, for the newbies) this guy was standing at the desk talking to the front desk lady and she said....okay today you owe $280 for the Neulasta shot. Will you be paying all of it today? WHAT?!?!?! dang, I thought those things were free!! I've never been charged for them or even had anyone start a sentence with the words, "today you owe..."

**Neulasta is a shot you get in the stomach or arm right after you finish your round of chemo. It's purpose is to help your body produce mature white blood cells faster. The shot works over 7 days so you don't have to get a shot everyday. I've had about 5 shots during treatment.

So if you think about this....just for a shot in the stomach....I would've owed $1400. I can only imagine all this CBC draws...cpm draws...and chemo. Im Thankful for young Kim and her thought processes to get a good insurance.

Alrit well, I was suppose to have a doctors appointment today to figure out some things BUT I'm stuck in this dang hospital. I called and they said if I get out before two, come straight over. So doc appt will be played by ear. I haven't got any newe CBC results so idk about my counts. I've been in the gym everyday for 6 days and its getting a little easier everday. I'm starting to fast walk more as opposed to running because I'm still sooo out of shape. I try to add a minute everyday to my jog (I'm up to 8 minutes of running) and it seems to be helping. I enjoy lifting weights again and on Wednesday night I realized I can spend 2 hours in the gym and not be bored...just like old times. So hopefully after this blood, I'll have more energy to do more things.

Alright well, I'm about to get off this thing and take a nap. I don't sleep well these days and I'm sooo tired. I bought ne flannel sheets yesterday and was actually excited to get in bed and enjoy the freshness of them and thought I'd go right to sleep.....wrong. Instead, I watched reruns of jersey shore and the real world. Lol. And now, I'm paying for it.

Well, I hope everyone has a fabulous Friday. As soon as I get more updates on why the heck my counts are so low...I'll let you know. :)

Much love,

Kim


P.s. My arms hurt so bad from all the sticking. So I'm thankful for PICC lines....even though I dont have one right now...I miss mine.

Day 232: My Halloween Decorations Are Still Up

Yes, that's right. My apartment still looks like Halloween threw up. During my "recovery" time this round, I've always had no energy to be climbing around taking stuff down...my solution? Don't invite people over. haha.

So update since Monday night...I got a call early Tuesday morning from my doctor's nurse telling me my platelets were LOW (i called it!). She told me to get to the hospital within the hour to get a platelet transfusion. Well I got there around 10, checked in, and waited. I was at the regular hospital (not edmond) and I swear they are slow like molasses. EVERYTHING took 5x longer than it should. and there wasn't even a lot of people in there! lame right? Well anyways, I got started around 1pm and I got two units of platelets and MAN OH MAN does it make a difference! My scar thingys seems to be healing quicker and i can finally brush my teeth without the PAIN I felt before. And my nose isn't bleeding every 2 minutes...yay. So that was Tuesday....

Today I went in around 2:30 to get my normal cbc blood test and they had to stick me with a needle once again. UGHH...the nurse made the comment to me, "well if I didn't know you were getting chemo, I would assume you did a lot of drugs from all these bruises on your arms." WELL THANKS LADY. lol. I kinda laughed it off and came back with....Well, they aren't as bad as Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias....cricket.:.cricket:......

WHY DON'T PEOPLE GET MY JOKES???!! lol

anyways, after I got my quick test, I requested for a printout of my results from MONDAY's cbc....and yeeeahhh.............

My white count was.....0.1 (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......it's been like this SINCE i got out of the hospital)
          **GOOD NEWS though....nurse called today and said they moved to 0.5 today..on their own)

My Red count was 2.69 (normal: 3.9 - 5.10) ----> getting there.

My Hemoglobin on Monday was a 8.4 (remember I got a blood transfusion on Friday)
          **BAD NEWS....they went DOWN to a 7.4 according to today's cbc

My Platelet Count was a 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **reminder..."normal" is 140-440
          **another reminder....when I was FIRST diagnosed.....my platelet count was an 8.

My potassium was a little lower than normal...but I got me some potassium pills to fix that problemo.

So with this being said....TOMORROW....i will have ANOTHER blood transfusion. UGGGHHHHHH......
IDK what's going on with my body. My theory is that with all these infections I had while in the hospital and the random "spots" on my legs that are now in the "healing" process...my body had to work OVERTIME to repair them.

I go to the doctor on Friday so these issues I'm SURE will be discussed. For now....I just spend TWO hours in the gym and burned about 900 calories (low hemoglobin and all) so I'm wiped out. I'm about to crank up the heater, break out the heating pad, and put on some comfortable PJ's.....and call it a night. It's been a LONG day and tomorrow is gonna be even longer.

I'll keep you updated on everything.

**EXTRA SIDE NOTE: I FEEL GREAT. no lie. I've been to the gym everyday since Saturday. I started out running but now have opted to fast walking on an incline and it's brutal. I lift weights as well and I can't tell you how much better I feel and how much better I eat. If I can do it, you can do it.

**EXTRA EXTRA side note....I know what my Halloween costume will be next year....SUPERWOMAN! yeah buddy! :)

love you all, good night.

Kim

Day 230: Come ON counts...I need to get back to me.

No big updates here. I've spent most (if not all) of my days in my apartment rotting. You'd think with all this time spent in here, it would be spotless....well, it's quite the opposite. I spend most of my days laying around until about 2ish when i go and get my blood drawn at the Cancer Center. 

My white counts are still low. My theory is that my white counts are working overtime to heal all these dang spots/sores on my legs that they can't go up until it's cleared up. My platelets are still UBER low and I don't need a blood test to tell me that. My nose is constantly bleeding, I have bruises all over my legs, it looks like someone took a bat to me, my gums bleed quite a bit whenever I brush my teeth, no matter how soft my brush is, and the newest thing....I have a "skin rash" called petechiae and they're harmless. According to my research and what the chemo/infusion nurse, its basically bleeding beneath the skin. And since I don't have platelets nor a tear in my skin to let it out, it just looks like a rash. It doesn't itch, it's not raised...and it will go away on its own once my platelets return to somewhat "normal" or at least higher than an 18. awesome right?

On a positive note, I got a blood transfusion on Friday and since then, I've been feeling AWESOME. I just finished "day 3" of working out and it feels soooooo good to be "running" again and to be lifting weights. I requested to go to Edmond for my transfusion because there the whole process is a lot more cushy. if that even makes sense. Instead of being thrown in a big room with others going through chemo or having transfusions, I get my own private room with my own private bathroom. I get to order lunch and have anything I want. And since my insurance covers it, why not? I got two units of blood and MAN OH MAN was it hard to get the IV started. I already have small veins (according to my nurse) but to add to it, I've been stuck so many times this whole almost two weeks that it's hard to find a "spot" that hasn't already been taken. So after being stuck 4...yes 4 times, they got an IV started, gave me my benadryl, and next thing I knew, I woke up and was ready to party! lol.

Alright well it's 12:30am right now and I'm getting tired, I"ll leave you all with some pictures to see what's going on with my skin. It's pretty gross but....it'll go away soon. Pray that it does. good thing it's winter!!

I love you all and have a good day. :)

Kim

 this is my left inner leg. The spots cover mainly below my knee and bits and pieces on my arms but nothing this extreme.

 This is my Right inner calf. it's a lot worse than the other leg and also has bruises as friends to go with it. I wonder if running and putting pressure on my legs is a possible cause for the severity of the outbreak....hmm

 this is my left inner knee/lower thigh. As you can see the black spots are part of the random skin outbreak I had in the hospital. The doctors still don't know what caused it. Those spots are mainly around my knee area but also have popped up on my upper arms and even my hands. But the good thing is they are scabbing over and healing. And of course...I have bruises like those you see all over my upper thighs. It's kind of growing together to form one big bruise....I need PLATELETS!!! ahhhhh....

Getting my blood transfusion on friday, my nurse got tape happy. and you can see where another nurse tried to start the IV but it didn't work out.

 this is what my nails look like now. they're purple and have lines of darkness that shows when I had methatrexate in my system (the killer that stole my hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, and made my skin ugly!). But no worries, as soon as my nails start growing back, they'll go back to normal. :) Doctors are fascinated by this, I guess it's rare to find patients whose nails actually do this b/c every time they see it, they like to bring others in and show them.

And last but not least....the most recent picture of me. I was on my way to the cancer center to get my blood drawn. Face puffiness has went DOWN and my gums don't hurt anymore...i can't FINALLY SMILE AGAIN!! YAY!! :) god is good.

Day 225: It can only go UP from here...

Three days out of the hospital....and I'm feeling okay. I'm tired (fatigue) from probably a low hemoglobin. How I know this?? Well after almost 8 months of chemo, you really get to know your body. And it passed my hand/palm test. I feel like I look pale too. And as I make my daily Ramen Noodles, my trip from my couch or my bed to my kitchen is hard work. By the time I get to my kitchen, find a pot, fill it with water, open the package of ramen noodles, turn on the stove and wait....I'm TIRED. I usually have a stool I carry with me around the apartment (sad I know) so I can sit anywhere. For instance, when I make a sandwich, it's a lot of work and I just cant seem to stand the entire time while assembling it (unless I have blood) so I usually sit down by the fridge (on my stool) and make it. Sounds sooo weird but you quickly have to make accommodations for yourself if you live by yourself. But it'll all soon be back to normal and I can be normal again. lol.

Right now, I'm having some weird symptoms from the treatment. I don't have my normal metallic taste in my mouth, so food tastes normal....but I do have a god awful soreness to my mouth. Like it's on the verge of mouth sores but nothing like that has formed. It sorta hurts to talk and definitely to eat solid foods. Well I shouldn't say hurts...it's really really uncomfortable. It hurts to brush my teeth and when I rinse my mouth (which happens every TWO hours and after anything I eat). I just keep telling myself, "this is the last time I have to do this." 

Also, I've been having random pain in my abdomen that only lasts for about 10 seconds. I can't tell if I'm hungry or what. I don't eat a lot of food as it is so when I take medications this could be a side effect....or IDK if it has anything to do with my liver?? I've been keeping a log of times when it hurts and it seems to getting better. The pain is like...when your really really hungry and your stomach starts to growl and you feel like you can eat your arm....plus the side cramp feeling you get while your exercising (from the greasy unhealthy food you're suppose to stay away from) and it feels like you just need to use the restroom or lay down and curl up in a ball. lol. we've all been there before. Only its in my abdomen area rather than my side. 

I've also been waking up SUPER early. I'm trying not to take sleeping pills unless I absolutely have to because I don't want to get addicted to them. So far it's working out. I just wish I had enough blood in me to go for a run while I'm up at weird hours of the morning (weird for me, not for normal working people).

anyways, other than that, life at home has been good. I'm about to get ready, bundle up, and brave the cold to visit a few of my co-workers at school....i missed them so much!! :)

kim

Day 222: It's Like I Won The Lottery!

LUCKY NUMBER 222 it is!! I FINALLY GET TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which means....yes, i missed my wiggin out party....it had to be postponed. But that's okay, we rescheduled for next week. After talking with the medical student and the residents about my liver enzymes....i'm still confused what's going on. From what I got and understood (yes I asked a million questions) I had a high level most likely because I was on so many medications...PLUS chemotherapy. It was a risk to take when they started treatment but I would rather have got it all done and stay a few days after rather than two individual hospital stays...etc. They researched my meds i've been on and the prilosec was the med that I was taking that had a rare chance of causing high liver enzymes....So their solution is that since I feel great...and I'm BORED out of my mind here, I'll just have my normal cbc blood tests and another mbc (??-i already forgot what it's called-but it'll test my liver levels??) on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (normal post chemo stuff) and go in for my neulasta shot (white cell booster). They didn't put a picc line back in so I guess I'll be getting stuck with a needle all the time (great) but I've been doing it the past two days so I think I'll survive.

I got some information on the type of infection I got...its called Enterobacter Clacae.....and after googling it a little.....I'm still confused what it is and where it came from. haha. But the important thing is....I'm getting treated for it and it should be gone soon. YES!

I guess my next steps would be to see a fertility specialists and see what that is all about and then...wait for my brothers bone marrow tests to come back. Hopefully he's a match and I can get that out of the way and then, let the hair growing begin!! lol.

For now, I'm waiting for my nurse to come back with discharge papers (she has been awesome) and then I'm outta here and gonna go get some hideaway pizza!! I've been having dreams about hideaway (weird I know) so I think it's time to go. And I have to check on my cat, Einstein, because he survived the TWO EARTHQUAKES we had.....cats are weird creatures anyway, but Einstein is so dramatic that he's probably still freaking out. I love him anyway.

So the earthquake was CRAZY last night!! I just finished watching the OSU game because Sara brought me Arby's....and we were watching the news and the nurse was in my room refilling my water (for sara) and then...my bed started shaking first...then EVERYTHING ELSE. Like were talking the doors, the curtains, the paper towels, the towels hanging up, MY BED, the IV post, it was creepy....and lasted a good 30 seconds or something. Then my night nurse started freaking out a little....which made me freak out a little....and Sara was just like....THIS IS SOOO COOL....I'M IN AN EARTHQUAKE. lol. Nurses just shouldn't freak out. I know that they're people and all but that's just like when a student asks teachers questions and expects you to know all the answers even if it doesn't pertain to your subject (example: asking a math teacher -me- about homework in their history class or god forbid, English class) If you don't know the answer, they say, but you're a teacher, you're suppose to know everything!! haha.

Anyways, I'm SOO glad to be walking out of this place. I have a love-hate relationship with hospitals. They saved my life but they're so boring! They really need to have like arts and crafts or something available for people like me. haha. I just hope that I am done for a LONG time with hospitals. You never know with blood transfusions and whatever else...but for now, I'm happy to LEAVE. :)

Okay well, I'm going to start packing so as soon as they come in with my papers....i'm outta here!

god is good. much love.
kim

Day 221: Can I Go Home Already?!

OMG.........I'm still in the dang hospital! Ahhh!! I'm officially going crazy from boredom and I'm probably on the verge of starvation. I ordered breakfast about an hour ago (simple toasted bagel and cereal) and nothing. Luckily, I stock up on fruits to snack on between meals so I have an orange to eat to hold me over until then.

Anyways, they took out my picc line yesterday because, go figure, it was the source of my infection. I guess the plastic being in my blood grew something. So I'm picc line-less and if feels great! I finally showered and scrubbed my arm and now I feel clean! The bad news is that when I go in and get cbc stuff they WILL have to stick me....ahhhhh!! Maybe it won't be bad.

So right now they restarted my fluids (they stopped them yesterday morning) because my liver enzymes (i think) were too high. I told EVERYONE about my wiggin out party tonight (everyone who comes has to wear a wig) to celebrate chemo being over and the doctors are doing everything they can to get me out of here. My nurse today is also awesome and really on top of things. I had her earlier in the week and told her about the party and she has been pushing for me to go home as well. Just another reason that being nice to everyone is a good thing around here....and I guess the fact that I don't ask for anything, ever helps too. :)

Other than that, since they found specifically where my infection is coming from and what it is, they will be able to give me an oral antibiotic that I can continue at home. (YES!)

Okay well I'll update later on what happens. Pray and send happy thoughts that my liver stuff goes down so I can get out of here!! Until then, I'm going to lay here, watch Lean On Me, and wait.

much love,
kim

Day 219: Cancer? check!

CHEMOTHERAPY IS OFFICIALLY OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just got my last dose around 2pm today...and went over two hours....it was glorious.

I thought I'd be a lot more emotional but I'm not. That just meant, I was ready and it was my time for it to be over. I asked about my picc line and they weren't sure but the response I got was that even though chemo drugs itself is done, for about two weeks I still have to get labs done, I'll still feel awful some days, and probably still need blood transfusions. So unless I want to be stuck with a needle every M,W, F and whenever I need blood......I'll just keep it in. What's another couple days. So really, I don't think of myself being totally done YET.....even though I am.....It'll be more "real" to me once I get this thing out of my arm and I'm feeling normal on my own. :)

Anyways, today was totally uneventful. I'm SOOOOOOOO tired because no one lets me sleep around here and when I try to...i have to use the restroom or I'm cold or I get hot or I'm hungry or I get a text message....SOMETHING. I was hoping to get out today but the attending doctor was out today and they had a cover...aka someone who knows nothing about whats REALLY going on right now. So I'll bother the attending doctor tomorrow....I like this doctor and he usually works with me so we'll see what happens.

I'm hoping that I actually get sleep tonight since chemo is OVER but we'll see. they always have me doing something.

Well that's all I got for today. I wish it was more exciting but I can't help that.

It's been a LOOOOOOOONNNNGGGGGG hard road for me but I survived....and have a pretty good blog (from what I've been told) to tell the story. Right now I can't believe I just went through this whole thing. It literally seems like just a few days ago I was sitting in Mercy Hospital wondering what was wrong with me and how I thought I'd be going back to work in a week or something. Well.....219 days later, we have arrived at the light at the end of the tunnel and all I can do right now is smile. :)

I can't wait for my hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows to grow back....i sure have missed them....and for these god awful skin rashes to go away. I still have about a month of recovery and all that but....I'm never going to have to spend nights in the hospital for chemo again. and that my friends....is awesome.

I want to thank everyone one of my loyal readers who has followed me since diagnosis. I feel like I had a lot of people follow my journey because of this blog. There were days that seemed impossible to get through and somewhere in there I gained the strength to make it....and i credit all that positive energy towards those who read and followed my blog religiously.Because through my blog I know I got daily prayers, positive thoughts, and overall positive energy sent my way when I needed it the most...and even when I thought I didn't.

 Even people I don't know who have probably creeped on my blog or stumbled on my blog because they became fascinated with this random girls life....I'm glad there was something that kept them coming back because in the future, you just never know if this could help you or someone you know get through a rough time.

And for my students and loving coworkers....not even co-workers, friends, at the best school in the world.....thank you. I cannot even begin to say how much of my drive and positive energy should be credited to you. Students....it makes me tear up that I had to miss some of your most important 8th grade events because I was sick. I tried my hardest to stay in touch because I didn't want you all to have the negative perception that comes with the scary word "cancer." I wanted to teach (go figure!) you to turn something bad into something good and that happiness is really about your attitude and not necessarily a destination. Some of the best advice and words of encouragement came from you all through your cards, letters, pictures, and even hospital visits. It made me realize how much of a family we really were (fights, arguments, jokes, and all) inside the best purple classroom ever. All the stories that I hear from the teachers about your concern for me made my hospital days worth it because I knew with every hospital visit....I was that much closer to getting back into the classroom and continuing my lesson. I hope you all have taken something away from this and will remember it for a lifetime....I mean, how many other students can say that their 8th grade teacher was SO awesome that she beat cancer at 24? :)

And last but never least....my backbone through this ENTIRE thing. Emily, Debbie, Sarah, Sara, Krystina, Heather, and Lisa. You ladies have been my absolute rock. From the late night runs to the Emergency Room, the long hospital nights & early mornings we had together, the random chemo cravings you all had to put up with (we probably ate a thousand wings), the long talks that either ended in tears or laughter, the decorations for my room when I needed it the most, the birthday party, kim out of the hospital, kim going into the hospital celebrations and everything in between....I could never have done it without you. I literally owe you my life.

I could seriously go on for days about all the people who have helped me get through this journey....but I'm tired. I'll continue more tomorrow but for now, I'm barely keeping my eyes open and dry (yeah, i started to tear up....so what??) So for now....I'm going to look at chemo and cancer as something else on my list of life accomplishments and simply check it off....and move on. Next stop.....Maui Marathon!! :)

We did it....

219 days later....

I can say....I'm a survivor.

:)

Have a good day...be thankful..
love,
kim

Day 218: One More Day!! :)

So I guess I'm finishing up "day 2" of chemo and I feel great....better now than I did when I was on my own. Haven't had any fevers today or overnight. I'm just cold. A little better than yesterday because I actually have blood in me today but I'm really regretting forgetting my blanket at home. oh well. they stocked me up on lame hospital blankets so I'm okay for now. I started wearing a scarf to sleep in and it keeps slipping around on my head. lol. I got used to wearing them when I first lost my hair but now...they're just uncomfortable....i like my baseball caps....so much easier. Anyways, nothing new to report today. They changed my antibiotics because something about gram negative rods growing....don't know what that means but they said it only grew from the picc line cultures sooo....does that mean the picc line is coming out?? Idk what's going on. it would be GREAT if it was...but they'll probably just replace it because I imagine I'll need blood transfusions and blood draws for a bit....I have a doctors appointment scheduled for the 23rd of November so I guess I'll find out then. I don't feel weird or anything....if anything i'm filling up quickly with fluids and my stomach has an ache but it's probably because I'm not really eating like crazy anymore. I don't really have an appetite unless i'm really hungry so I just kinda...don't eat. i know that's awful....especially being on chemo and all....but it's also hard to get food in this joint after 6pm. lame right?

The numbness/tingling in my fingers seems to be getting a little better?? i think. The pain is a bit stronger....like as I type this and put pressure on my finger tips....it feels like I'm waking up each finger from being asleep....and you know how the pain gets worse as it's waking up before it goes away....well i feel like my fingertips are in that awkward stage of "waking up."  that's the best way I can describe it....it's just weird.

Ummmm......other than that....nothing has really been going on. I got the energy to take a shower today. I know I always mention this but on this chemo stuff....it makes you aware of how much energy you use to take a shower. and when you have no blood....it's hard! So I'm always proud (as well as the nurses) when I actually have the energy to shower and can stand the entire time...little goals like that help get patients through the day.

The lady who i think is my neighbor.....was signing AGAIN ALL MORNING LOOOONNNGGG....ahhhh! So today I started playing lil wayne's new Carter IV album and she was quick to shut her door. yes!

Something else happened today and I took it as a reminder of how far a polite conversation can go....even if you dont want to have it. lol that sounds terrible but here's the story....last night was another night that I got VERY little sleep. If someone wasm't drawing my blood, they were asking for urine samples, or they were scanning my bracelet to give me meds...or they were trying to get a hold of my arm to switch IV medications or SOMETHING was going on....So by the time 7 rolls around......just as I'm falling back into a deep sleep....here come the string of doctors...they usually send in the medical students first and for me it's kind of cool becuase these med school students are usually around my age and with two friends in med school WITH these kids.....it's just neat. IDK WHY...i'm weird. anyways, so this guy comes in to do my morning interviews and he's a really nice guy. Very apologetic about waking me up and kinda makes it a little more pleasant...because believe me....i've done these interviews with a pillow over my head before because they're usually just annoying. So anyways, I guess he only had two patients and we ended up having like a 30 minute or so conversation about my students, taft, teachers, wearing wigs, bicycles, and just being in the hospital in general. It turns out that his mother had breast cancer and he related some of my stories to what his mom went through. We joked about how at the beginning of diagnosis...that first month....there was always TONS of visitors and people sending flowers and balloons....and all that stuff. We kinda laughed about it and I said...you know, you're right and i was thinking about that the other day...I mean....look around...I'm here alone probably 95% of the time...which I'm fine with but it was just funny. ANYWAYS....so later on after I had eaten lunch with my friend Erika who brought me some awesome subway, around 5pm....he came back! I was occupied with online window shopping and when he knocked on the door I totally ignored him expecting it was my nurse or housekeeping or something...but anyways, he brought me a get well balloon...just one...attached to nothing. I guess he was going home and remembered our extensive conversation and got one from the gift shop. It was such a nice gesture and it totally made my day. I remember in the hospital back in mercy Milford Clayton said to me "be kind to everybody. becuase you never know." And I guess just going an extra step with his patients or just listening to me talk about whatever was just nice. usually around here people rush in and out. I related all of this back to me (of course!) and my students. I guess it's sorta the same thing....the difference between a good teacher and a great teacher the kids will remember. Going a few extra steps. Yeah, it takes a little time and maybe some money....but it makes a world of differnce and this is just something I'll always remember...a lot like my visit with Mr. Clayton. He was awesome. He was so polite and just everything he did made sense. He really didn't have to visit me...he really didn't have to volunteer....but he did. and turns out....because I treated my class sponsors right (the senior adult group at a church) and went a little further for them (holiday signs, cards from the kids to the group) he took care of me (remember he was part of the group that "sponsored" my class). Its just crazy how this whole treatment has worked out....god works in mysterious ways. but he's good. god is good.

Anyways, just a cool story. so from that....remember, be kind to everyone, because you never know

Two days down....One to go.

I can do this.

218 days....god really is good.

thanks for the prayers and positive thoughts everyone has been sending my way. words cant describe how appreciative I am. :)

much love,
kim

Day 217: All I can say...it was halloween night

WHAT A LONG EXHAUSTING NIGHT....i just wanted to sleep but no one was letting me....

First off...I'm pretty sure this hospital has gotten a lot of new nurses. I worked so hard to get to know people and tried to remember faces and names. And for a while...it was awesome because most of my chemo nurses were the same...like a rotation or something. And even once...the charge nurse let me pick my nurse for the night! But this round everything seems different. Even when I got to my room, the rooms were cleaned funny and their were like patient welcome booklets and stuff all laid out like I'm gonna read this every time I come in, especially when I check in by myself...my board that they usually write on is different....rather than a thousand word questionnaire they (in theory) were suppose to go over with you during shift change(questions like, rate your pain, what is your goal for the day it's just a big white dry erase board.  just weird little things like that...changes....i don't like. I guess it just means that I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE AND NEVER COME BACK. lol.

Second....I had a pretty slow nurse...or basically start to the whole chemo process. it seems like no one was communicating to each other because things kept happening like twice. nurses, doctors, questions, explanations....its like no one was talking to each other or something. It doesn't seem that bad on here but when you're the patient...it's annoying because I hate saying things twice (probably a teacher trait) or explaining myself....especially if whatever I say won't matter (go back to last post and read my venting). ugh. but luckily, i'm nice to people and only let out my anger on here.

Third....I ran a fever early in the evening...much like the last time I was in the hospital. Not as high as my 104 fever but still a fever. I was around 101.8 when the nurse checked me but I felt like I was on the downhill of the height of my fever. Then I thought the fever broke because I got REALLY hot and a little sweaty on my head.....OH NO....that came around 3am when I realized I was DRENCHED in sweat...not just my head...but my entire body....THEN just as soon as I woke up two guys walked in to get a chest xray because whenever a fever is recorded....a chest xray is taken....it was embarrassing because they had to pick me up and adjust me and i'm sure i felt absolutely disgusting. blah...but I was half asleep so i guess it didn't really matter anyway and on top of that, the middle of the night.

Fourth of all....chemo didn't actually get started until 2am....so up until all this I was getting blood cultures done (because of the fever) meaning I had to be stuck with a needle as well as blood being drawn from my picc line. and that itself took forever because my nurse had to get another nurse to draw my blood...why?? i don't really know but that's what she did. On top of that....at the same time they were trying to get my chemo on the road and calling doctors for consent that was ALREADY signed by the FIRST doctor I saw....and of course, if I said anything...no one would listen. crazy right??? So then they FINALLLY got my chemo started....I fell asleep pretty quick afterwards...but then they needed urine samples so here they are in and out of my room leaving lights on and then turning them off...i couldn't just situate myself underneath my blankets...because this whole time i was HOT trying to break my fever. So then an hour late the guys came in for the chest xrays....and then another hour later....my nurse came in with the second bag of chemo that has been running all day (big 24 hour bag) so once again....woken up....why?? idk....then I fell asleep and again...next thing I knew it was 5am and the daily 5am labs were taken....so I had blood being drawn from me all night long. I'm pretty sure more was drawn but i don't really remember it because i was in and out of sleep all night.

AND FINALLY........even though this didn't really happen last night.....but i'm pretty sure it was a direct result of last night......my hemoglobin is at a 6.6.....WHAT??!!! yup....so right now i'm hooked up to a unit of blood. awesome right?? I still think it would've been cool to have a blood transfusion on halloween itself...but oh well...

anyways....i ordered dinner around 6:25 (right before they closed) and it got here about an hour later...easy schmeasy hamburger and fries....and here's what they sent.....obviously the bottom of the barrel fries that have been sitting all day. and on top of that....i missed lunch because i was on the phone with my sister for a long time today talking about our trip were taking. So i was occupied all afternoon....skipping lunch. good thing I had a bagel for breakfast or else i'd be struggling a lot more than I already am. I just ate the hamburger...and it wasn't that good....and ate maybe half a fry.....this just means I need to order earlier or NOT order fries....

this is what I'm currently hooked up to....the yellow big bag is the chemo....a regular size bag of saline for fluids....another clear bag of D5......a foilish color bag of antibiotics (for fever control)......a bag of blood.....and more fluid stuff that goes along with getting a blood transfusion.....so 6.....bags all going into me at once....that's CRAZY!!! 

alright well....that's all i got for today, I'll be sure to update more tomorrow (if I remember) I'm sure with all this blood, I'll feel up to it....

Make sure to go buy a lottery ticket....it is 11/1/11!!

i would if I could but I can't

oh well. :)

much love,

kim

TWO MORE DAYS OF CHEMO!!!