YAY for me posting again!! Sorry to keep you all on your toes about my health. I don't have internet at my new apartment (i'm just lazy and haven't called them...blah!) so it's hard to blog. But...there really isn't anything to blog about.
I still have my home nurse coming to draw my blood every Wednesday. Last time I updated my hemoglobin was really low but since then I've been doing regular hand checks. What's that you ask? Well I always noticed that everytime I get blood my hands turn a redish color. So i decided to check my hands everyday to make sure that they are either a pink or red color. and if they're not...i need blood to make them red. lol. Another one of my crazy theories. But anyways, since my three units of blood I haven't went back in for anything. My blood pressure has been high but my mom was saying that when I was in the hospital before the docs were saying something about an irregular heart valve?? I don't really remember.
So tomorrow I'll start ALL my heart, lung, and internal organ tests because I'm healthy now....wait.....rewind......I got ahead of myself. So I had my "monthly" checkup with my doctor yesterday and she suprised me with a 5 day hospital stay...uuggghhh. I'll be getting chemotherapy but this time in a lower dose than before. I'll be getting the exact same medications as I did at mercy the first time. I forgot to ask about my hair...if it will fall out again. I have some pretty hardcore stubble on my head now...it's really thin and comes out relatively easy (yes i tug on it to test it's weakness LOL). But I'm used to it now....but not necessarily the stares from people. However...people do recognize me now. Some worker at Charlotte Russe in the mall was like...OH HI....you're back!! lol.
So yes, I'm back in the hospital at OU. lame. But after this I'll have a weekly cbc blood draw and my next appointment with my doc will be late july. so yay for that! I'll suck it up for 5 days.
My sister just left this morning. She was on a 3 or 4 day leave before she leaves for Afghanistan and she came to oklahoma. We took my parents everywhere and just enjoyed some cancer free family time. it felt great to not have restrictions and be healthy. I started running again and am up to two miles non stop. It's definitely a struggle going from no muscle movement and such a huge loss of muscle mass to running again. But staying positive and dedicated to my exercises I'm slowly working my way back. it's awesome. I'm still slow but I'll work on that when I get out again. :)
I wish everything was fine and dandy but I did have one rude encounter and truly saw how ignorant and inconsiderate people really can be. At first I thought the only struggle I would go through outside of the hospital would have been people staring at me or even whispering about me....at times I don't want to notice these things I simply pull my hat down and move on. Anyways, my sister and I were shopping in an OKC mall and we were in a store and I was looking at dresses. My sister had went to another part of the store and I was about to walk into another "room" of the store. I had just entered the sale area and two girl workers were walking around straightening the racks and talking. And as soon as I walked into the room they looked at each other and laughed....so at first, trying to be positive about it...maybe they just told a joke or something htat I missed. So I continued to look at clothes and one said, "I don't see how anyone could do that to themselves. WOuld you ever do that?
girl #2 said, "OMG, never in a million years. I don't know how I would look how how it would be shaped if I shaved it off. I mean I thought of it before but i could never."
girl #1 replies, "So would you even shave half of it and make a cool hair do?"
girl #2 shouts and laughs "NO! I don't know why anyone would choose to do that."
so at his point I was annoyed. I wanted to yell at them...I wanted to throw the clothes everywhere....I wanted to politely explain that it wasn't a choice....blah, blah, blah. But i didn't. I guess I froze? SO instead I just started messing up their "perfect clothes rack" they had been fixing for a while. Then my sister came over and I told her I would tell her what happened in a bit but for now....mess up and misplace everything you possibly can. The girls picked up on what we were doing but said nothing. So then we left the store and I ended up calling the store and getting a managers name, number, and the owners number. I explained that I was offended and the reason I lost my hair was because of cancer. She said she would handle the situation and was deeply apologetic about everything. she also mentioned that he girls who worked there have had numerous complaints about rude/inconsiderate conversations.
I mean really...I don't mind being talked about but not to my face. I didn't want to react because I knew I Was better than that.....it just sucks going through stuff like that...and I am a healthier cancer patient...I wonder what others go through and just how much people stare. it's kinda sad. Anyways, I'm okay with it, I just know those girls have some bad karma coming their way. Hopefully they learn.
Alrighty well I'll be blogging more since i have free internet here (lol) for the next 5 days so don't put those reading glasses away just yet. :) for now, i'm tired and gotta put my purple sheets on my bed so i'm not bothered by the nasty scent of the hospital sheets.
xoxo
kim
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