I'M SO READY TO GET OUT OF HERE.
I know I always say that so most of my dedicated readers should understand. lol. it's 4:20 right now and all I have going right now is fluids to help "flush" out my system before I head out. My hands are still puffy as well as my face and feet but who cares!
The nurse is typing up my discharge papers and my room is all packed minus of course my purple sheets and sweet blanket a friend of mines mother made for me. Now I can have a blanket rotation each hospital stay....I need to add this to my cancer stay list I got going.
Right now I'm hungry....I would order food but I don't want to wait for food....especially if my orders come! So I'll stick it out....most of that has to do with the steroids I'm on...I'll be alright.
Well nothing else but a whole lot of waiting is going on right now.
5th treatment down....3 to go.....yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh budddddyyyy!!!! :) :) :)
kim
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Day 148: Life Lemonade
Today is a MUCH BETTER day than yesterday. I felt so crummy after the intrathecal spinal I went to sleep around 9 and woke up around midnight before my nurse came back to take vitals and give me more meds....then I got my ambien pill to help me sleep better and she came back around 4am to hang more chemo bags and I don't remember it. lol. So ambien did the trick. I feel so much better today it's great. I even kept down food and from the looks and feel of my poor fingers and feet, my fluid swelling is going down. THANK GOODNESS!! being all puffy is just disgusting because it's hard to look at yourself in the mirror. At my "worst" I could barely look at myself while washing my face and brushing my teeth. ugh. oh well...it's getting a little better now....nothing a little sweating at the gym won't fix. haha.
Well nothing exciting today happened. No cool stories about funny things I see...or crazy people in the hospital. Well a little "episode" happened. I've been on my laptop for most of the afternoon and I was totally jamming to the usual Drake (singer/rapper) on my laptop and I guess I Didn't realize how loud it was and the sick people around me (my neighbors) are all older than me....youngest probably in her late 30's....well I could see her movement from my room and she let out a loud grunt and got up, swung open her curtains and gave me a "stupid litle kid" look and slammed her door close.....:(
made me a bit sad because I know I'd be annoyed but oh well...i'm in a good mood right now and I don't want people to spoil it for me. so i laughed it off and turned it down a little and continued doing what i was doing.
that's about as exciting as it gets. The adult caseworker also came into my room today and said i'm on the list to go HOME tomorrow!!! I'm so excited to be home and be lazy. Don't count on me doing a lot of stuff this weekend but being a bum at home....but I do love visitors!! I feel like this round of chemo just drained my body....more than normal. but it just could be i've been in here for almost 2.5 weeks!! including the infection that I had from the previous fungal infection.
also i gotta continue to give myself shots at home...nooooo....but i'll be at home so no problem there. :)
Okay well I'm gonna finish "party planning" for a friend of mines birthday I'm going to host....YAY! i love doing stuff like this...i may have a new calling! :)
xoxo
kim
Well nothing exciting today happened. No cool stories about funny things I see...or crazy people in the hospital. Well a little "episode" happened. I've been on my laptop for most of the afternoon and I was totally jamming to the usual Drake (singer/rapper) on my laptop and I guess I Didn't realize how loud it was and the sick people around me (my neighbors) are all older than me....youngest probably in her late 30's....well I could see her movement from my room and she let out a loud grunt and got up, swung open her curtains and gave me a "stupid litle kid" look and slammed her door close.....:(
made me a bit sad because I know I'd be annoyed but oh well...i'm in a good mood right now and I don't want people to spoil it for me. so i laughed it off and turned it down a little and continued doing what i was doing.
that's about as exciting as it gets. The adult caseworker also came into my room today and said i'm on the list to go HOME tomorrow!!! I'm so excited to be home and be lazy. Don't count on me doing a lot of stuff this weekend but being a bum at home....but I do love visitors!! I feel like this round of chemo just drained my body....more than normal. but it just could be i've been in here for almost 2.5 weeks!! including the infection that I had from the previous fungal infection.
also i gotta continue to give myself shots at home...nooooo....but i'll be at home so no problem there. :)
Okay well I'm gonna finish "party planning" for a friend of mines birthday I'm going to host....YAY! i love doing stuff like this...i may have a new calling! :)
xoxo
kim
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Day 147: Side Effects
Today has been terrible.....well for me....terrible.....for any other normal patient going through chemo...this is probably nothing. lol. I'm just being dramatic and ready to get out of here.
I didn't go to sleep until around 3am!! I couldn't really sleep as it was and for some reason I've just been anxious. Then just as I was falling asleep my nurse came in to hang more chemo at 4am....i'm on 12 hour cycles so 4am and 4pm are the main chemo times....Then around 7am the docs start making their rounds and no matter how hard I try they always make me sit up and talk to them....and just as one leaves another one pops in. Luckily, now they know me well enough that the more experienced docs literally pop their head in and say, any problems, swelling, bowel movements, fevers?? and they know i always say no so it's like they expect a "no" from me.
So then this morning I was officially awaken by the stupid phone ringing and room service calling asking if I want food.....NO, if I want food I'll call....geez. THEN my nurse came in and gave me 15....yes 15 PILLS to take....in it included 4 potassium pills (which are seriously bigger than horse pills) and the usual steroids, stomach meds, anti fungal, anti....everything. it was awful. Then of course.....8 hours later...i do it all again.
Today also I noticed my hands were hurting and i looked at them and I am SOOOOO swollen. I have so many fluids constantly going in me that I'm all puffy and fluffy. I gained 4 lbs in water weight...it's soooo gross. but i'd much rather take this over mouth sores and nasty skin rashes ANYDAY. gross. So I can't complain because it can always be worse.....and that's been my "motto" these days. Especially because like I said before...I'm on the "sick" end of the floor and my neighbors just look miserable. They have the stereo-typical "hollywood" cancer look (that sounds mean i know) and I just think to myself....wow....I'm soo thankful. And sometimes my nurses run around with their heads cut off busy with other patients and often "forget" about me or just call me the quiet patient because I never demand anything or bother them. Like today, after I took a shower, I changed my own sheets and a nurse came in while my music was playing, I was singing and changing my sheets on my own and she became so apologetic b/c I guess she felt bad I was doing it?? Then I responded with a "it's really okay...I know there are worse off people that you are busy with and I'm completely able to do it on my own. There will be other days that I'll need you but and you can help then."
And I guess no one ever says that because it is SOOO easy to almost take advantage of the nursing staff and the techs and everyone else because they will literally wait on you hand and foot if you need them to. So I try to remember that others are worse off and i don't want to hold them up with my ridiculous orders....sounds weird. but at the end of the day....if I do need something they put me above others....brrrooowwnniiiie points! lol.
ANYWAYS, after all my million bajillion pills I was taking, a doctor came in around 3....and it's weird to see docs not in the morning and a little scary because they're in your room for a reason. So they just dropped the bomb on me and said I needed to do my Intrathecal chemo (spinal tap) and I get really bad anxiety when I hear intrathecal because I've just had horrible experiences with them in the past. AND I just know the worst part is the numbing medication and I psych myself out....but really it isn't that bad. lol. So before they came in to do the procedure I was walking to the vending machine on the floor to get a sprite and a doctor was asking where I was going and I told him I was running away...and I guess I said it right by the nurses station because they were all laughing at our conversation. it was funny and just an enlightening moment. So then they came in with the "team" and they did the procedure. it wasn't bad at all...probably the smoothest procedure to date.
I credit it to a girl doing it. Girls are jsut more careful and a little more gentle with that kind of stuff. And the main doctor in there who was explaining to an intern who was observing was funny so he was keeping me company by talking to me so overall it wasn't awful. Then I got up and showered and just overall felt better. if my room wasn't a million degrees in here i would be a happy camper but that's asking way to much from this place. lol.
hmmmm so I've been having hot cheeto cravings and after my procedure I knew pain was coming so I went ahead and requested a pill and I think pain pills make me throw up. Even at home when I take the hardcore ones....it never fails, I throw up afterwards. SO my friend sara brought me some hot cheetos and after she left I was cleaning up my room and all of a sudden i felt really sick and my mouth started watering....yuck and i knew it was coming. So I called my nurse and told her and she ran down to my room to find me laying on the toilet. LOL...and she FREAKED out because i threw up my CHERRY RED hot cheetos I just ate and she thought it was blood. hahahahahahaha.....what a mean joke. But I explained it to her and she was relieved. but It wasn't on purpose. So now I"m hoping to take a sleeping pill and knock myself out and sleep it off.....
this round of chemo has just been awful for me. But I'll get through it....2 more days....
Alright well....other than that, life is peachy. I'm hoping to meet my brother in dallas for labor day weekend to get away and see him. hopefully that plan works out. I have a friend here from LA and he was talking about making a trip down so I'll drag him along. :) :)
Okay well my eyes are getting heavy and my stomach is empty again (great...) and they just gave me a nausea pill so I don't want to be up any longer....maybe tomorrow will be better.
Keep the thoughts and prayers coming.....love you all. :)
kim
I didn't go to sleep until around 3am!! I couldn't really sleep as it was and for some reason I've just been anxious. Then just as I was falling asleep my nurse came in to hang more chemo at 4am....i'm on 12 hour cycles so 4am and 4pm are the main chemo times....Then around 7am the docs start making their rounds and no matter how hard I try they always make me sit up and talk to them....and just as one leaves another one pops in. Luckily, now they know me well enough that the more experienced docs literally pop their head in and say, any problems, swelling, bowel movements, fevers?? and they know i always say no so it's like they expect a "no" from me.
So then this morning I was officially awaken by the stupid phone ringing and room service calling asking if I want food.....NO, if I want food I'll call....geez. THEN my nurse came in and gave me 15....yes 15 PILLS to take....in it included 4 potassium pills (which are seriously bigger than horse pills) and the usual steroids, stomach meds, anti fungal, anti....everything. it was awful. Then of course.....8 hours later...i do it all again.
Today also I noticed my hands were hurting and i looked at them and I am SOOOOO swollen. I have so many fluids constantly going in me that I'm all puffy and fluffy. I gained 4 lbs in water weight...it's soooo gross. but i'd much rather take this over mouth sores and nasty skin rashes ANYDAY. gross. So I can't complain because it can always be worse.....and that's been my "motto" these days. Especially because like I said before...I'm on the "sick" end of the floor and my neighbors just look miserable. They have the stereo-typical "hollywood" cancer look (that sounds mean i know) and I just think to myself....wow....I'm soo thankful. And sometimes my nurses run around with their heads cut off busy with other patients and often "forget" about me or just call me the quiet patient because I never demand anything or bother them. Like today, after I took a shower, I changed my own sheets and a nurse came in while my music was playing, I was singing and changing my sheets on my own and she became so apologetic b/c I guess she felt bad I was doing it?? Then I responded with a "it's really okay...I know there are worse off people that you are busy with and I'm completely able to do it on my own. There will be other days that I'll need you but and you can help then."
And I guess no one ever says that because it is SOOO easy to almost take advantage of the nursing staff and the techs and everyone else because they will literally wait on you hand and foot if you need them to. So I try to remember that others are worse off and i don't want to hold them up with my ridiculous orders....sounds weird. but at the end of the day....if I do need something they put me above others....brrrooowwnniiiie points! lol.
ANYWAYS, after all my million bajillion pills I was taking, a doctor came in around 3....and it's weird to see docs not in the morning and a little scary because they're in your room for a reason. So they just dropped the bomb on me and said I needed to do my Intrathecal chemo (spinal tap) and I get really bad anxiety when I hear intrathecal because I've just had horrible experiences with them in the past. AND I just know the worst part is the numbing medication and I psych myself out....but really it isn't that bad. lol. So before they came in to do the procedure I was walking to the vending machine on the floor to get a sprite and a doctor was asking where I was going and I told him I was running away...and I guess I said it right by the nurses station because they were all laughing at our conversation. it was funny and just an enlightening moment. So then they came in with the "team" and they did the procedure. it wasn't bad at all...probably the smoothest procedure to date.
I credit it to a girl doing it. Girls are jsut more careful and a little more gentle with that kind of stuff. And the main doctor in there who was explaining to an intern who was observing was funny so he was keeping me company by talking to me so overall it wasn't awful. Then I got up and showered and just overall felt better. if my room wasn't a million degrees in here i would be a happy camper but that's asking way to much from this place. lol.
hmmmm so I've been having hot cheeto cravings and after my procedure I knew pain was coming so I went ahead and requested a pill and I think pain pills make me throw up. Even at home when I take the hardcore ones....it never fails, I throw up afterwards. SO my friend sara brought me some hot cheetos and after she left I was cleaning up my room and all of a sudden i felt really sick and my mouth started watering....yuck and i knew it was coming. So I called my nurse and told her and she ran down to my room to find me laying on the toilet. LOL...and she FREAKED out because i threw up my CHERRY RED hot cheetos I just ate and she thought it was blood. hahahahahahaha.....what a mean joke. But I explained it to her and she was relieved. but It wasn't on purpose. So now I"m hoping to take a sleeping pill and knock myself out and sleep it off.....
this round of chemo has just been awful for me. But I'll get through it....2 more days....
Alright well....other than that, life is peachy. I'm hoping to meet my brother in dallas for labor day weekend to get away and see him. hopefully that plan works out. I have a friend here from LA and he was talking about making a trip down so I'll drag him along. :) :)
Okay well my eyes are getting heavy and my stomach is empty again (great...) and they just gave me a nausea pill so I don't want to be up any longer....maybe tomorrow will be better.
Keep the thoughts and prayers coming.....love you all. :)
kim
the awesome begay clan. leggo.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Day 146: Pointless
I'M SOOOOO BOOOOORRREEEDDDDD.....
and i've been bored AAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL day long.
usually I can handle the first three or four days then I start getting antsy and bothering everyone around me to get out but this time is different. I'm so restless in this dang hospital and I'm just plain bored. Luckily, I haven't been sleeping very well so I try to take naps often throughout the day but since I never take naps at home....it throws off my sleeping at night.....thus why I am up this late.
The lady beside me is STILL coughing up a lung....good thing I have my germ-x next to me at all times. The nurses even use it and they said its such a great idea. :)
So I started my chemo around 1pm today. it took forever for my nurse to get the bag..i think because pharmacy was taking forever....am I surprised? no. But this just means that I may get out on Saturday...noooo!!!! :(
I got some yummy food today for dinner. A student of mine (who i have been helping with his freshman presidental campaign stuff) brought me some burger king. it was wonderful and so thoughtful. :)
And my friend from college soccer days brought me some leftovers....MY FAVORITE. She made some homemade chicken strips, mac and cheese, and mashed potatoes....I can't wait to eat it tomorrow for lunch!! :) So if anyone else makes food and has leftovers.....BRING IT ON BY!! Anything is better than the nasty cafeteria food I'm forced to eat. ugh. maybe that's how I lost 2 more lbs. LOL.
Alright well nothing new here. Just started chemo and have been bored outta my mind. 4 more days then I'll be running outta here. Until then.......think good non-sick thoughts....i hate throwing up. :(
love you all, more tomorrow.
Kim
and i've been bored AAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL day long.
usually I can handle the first three or four days then I start getting antsy and bothering everyone around me to get out but this time is different. I'm so restless in this dang hospital and I'm just plain bored. Luckily, I haven't been sleeping very well so I try to take naps often throughout the day but since I never take naps at home....it throws off my sleeping at night.....thus why I am up this late.
The lady beside me is STILL coughing up a lung....good thing I have my germ-x next to me at all times. The nurses even use it and they said its such a great idea. :)
So I started my chemo around 1pm today. it took forever for my nurse to get the bag..i think because pharmacy was taking forever....am I surprised? no. But this just means that I may get out on Saturday...noooo!!!! :(
I got some yummy food today for dinner. A student of mine (who i have been helping with his freshman presidental campaign stuff) brought me some burger king. it was wonderful and so thoughtful. :)
And my friend from college soccer days brought me some leftovers....MY FAVORITE. She made some homemade chicken strips, mac and cheese, and mashed potatoes....I can't wait to eat it tomorrow for lunch!! :) So if anyone else makes food and has leftovers.....BRING IT ON BY!! Anything is better than the nasty cafeteria food I'm forced to eat. ugh. maybe that's how I lost 2 more lbs. LOL.
Alright well nothing new here. Just started chemo and have been bored outta my mind. 4 more days then I'll be running outta here. Until then.......think good non-sick thoughts....i hate throwing up. :(
love you all, more tomorrow.
Kim
Day 145: Guess Who's Back....
I had an absolutely FABULOUS weekend....for those who know why.....know why. LOL. I'm sad it had to end but I'll be out in 5 days....let the countdown begin!!
So I'm definitely on the "sick" people side and I'm not really sure why. I"m at the very end of the hall and I'm constantly hearing IV's going off like crazy and people coughing up more than a lung..hmmm...Meanwhile I'm in my room on my laptop drinking an energy drink and eating tater tots listening to lil wayne. hahaha. But it kind of nice to be down here because it's rare for people to walk by my door and stare at me....I'm guilty of doing that too when I walk so I guess I can't really complain.
I have a new nurse I never had tonight. She seems kind of frantic but she's nice. There are only a few nurses that I don't like here. And I've noticed that everytime I come up here everyone already knows me....even the housekeeping ladies know me. It just feels great.
Alright well I just wanted to let everyone know how it's going. Homehealth wasn't too bad....except I had to give myself shots....YUCK. it was terrible b/c who wants to stick themselves with a needle and inject meds through your stomach?? But I sucked it up because I wasn't about to go back to the hospital just yet. I had some antibiotics through IV that went in over an hour at home...and it wasn't bad at all...mainly because the last time I had home health I sat for 4-5 hours so 1 hour was NOTHING.
I got "the call" today at 4:30 to come into the hospital..and the lady was like....make sure you come in before 5 to avoid checking in at ER. WHAT?! of course, i took my sweet time and I definitely paid for it. I spend an hour and a half as a DIRECT ADMIT waiting in the stupid emergency room...and believe me...there was nothing emergency about it. I swear the nurses move slower than molasses and the patient admit lady moves even slower. The whole time I was sitting and waiting, she took care of TWO people...IDK if it's becuase they have all the living wills and what not (i don't) and they have to file it?? but seriously....took FOREVER. But i'm here in my room now so all is good with the world.
Tonight one of my students came to visit me so I could help him make more lanyard signs for his 9th grade presidential campaign and I had a good time. I always have and always will enjoy the company of my students because they just remind me of how simple life really is. That sounds cheesy I know but I love their energy when I'm around them and they just make me laugh. Anyways, we spent a few hours making signs and listening to music for inspiration. Overall....he's gonna win because yesterday we spent SIX....yes SIX hours making signs....but hard work paid off because he had a fabulous day and when he called me to tell me about it he was so excited....and that made it all worth it. I love when my students are happy.
Okay well, I'm FINALLY getting tired and I've already been warned that the doctor rounds start very early in the morning because all my doctors are on call tonight..uggghhhh....but usually they know I sleep a lot so they try to save me for last....muahahahaha....oh the perks of being friendly around here.
Chemo is suppose to start tomorrow (YES!) and It's a 4 day treatment....This is the more harsh one on my body so be thinking good thoughts....think....no weird skin reactions....and that my poor eyebrows hang on a little longer....they're so thin right now it's kinda scary...and my eyelashes are thin too...uuuggggghhhhhhhhh.
ALright enough of that....I'm ready to get this 5th round over with. wish me luck!
xoxo
kim
So I'm definitely on the "sick" people side and I'm not really sure why. I"m at the very end of the hall and I'm constantly hearing IV's going off like crazy and people coughing up more than a lung..hmmm...Meanwhile I'm in my room on my laptop drinking an energy drink and eating tater tots listening to lil wayne. hahaha. But it kind of nice to be down here because it's rare for people to walk by my door and stare at me....I'm guilty of doing that too when I walk so I guess I can't really complain.
I have a new nurse I never had tonight. She seems kind of frantic but she's nice. There are only a few nurses that I don't like here. And I've noticed that everytime I come up here everyone already knows me....even the housekeeping ladies know me. It just feels great.
Alright well I just wanted to let everyone know how it's going. Homehealth wasn't too bad....except I had to give myself shots....YUCK. it was terrible b/c who wants to stick themselves with a needle and inject meds through your stomach?? But I sucked it up because I wasn't about to go back to the hospital just yet. I had some antibiotics through IV that went in over an hour at home...and it wasn't bad at all...mainly because the last time I had home health I sat for 4-5 hours so 1 hour was NOTHING.
I got "the call" today at 4:30 to come into the hospital..and the lady was like....make sure you come in before 5 to avoid checking in at ER. WHAT?! of course, i took my sweet time and I definitely paid for it. I spend an hour and a half as a DIRECT ADMIT waiting in the stupid emergency room...and believe me...there was nothing emergency about it. I swear the nurses move slower than molasses and the patient admit lady moves even slower. The whole time I was sitting and waiting, she took care of TWO people...IDK if it's becuase they have all the living wills and what not (i don't) and they have to file it?? but seriously....took FOREVER. But i'm here in my room now so all is good with the world.
Tonight one of my students came to visit me so I could help him make more lanyard signs for his 9th grade presidential campaign and I had a good time. I always have and always will enjoy the company of my students because they just remind me of how simple life really is. That sounds cheesy I know but I love their energy when I'm around them and they just make me laugh. Anyways, we spent a few hours making signs and listening to music for inspiration. Overall....he's gonna win because yesterday we spent SIX....yes SIX hours making signs....but hard work paid off because he had a fabulous day and when he called me to tell me about it he was so excited....and that made it all worth it. I love when my students are happy.
Okay well, I'm FINALLY getting tired and I've already been warned that the doctor rounds start very early in the morning because all my doctors are on call tonight..uggghhhh....but usually they know I sleep a lot so they try to save me for last....muahahahaha....oh the perks of being friendly around here.
Chemo is suppose to start tomorrow (YES!) and It's a 4 day treatment....This is the more harsh one on my body so be thinking good thoughts....think....no weird skin reactions....and that my poor eyebrows hang on a little longer....they're so thin right now it's kinda scary...and my eyelashes are thin too...uuuggggghhhhhhhhh.
ALright enough of that....I'm ready to get this 5th round over with. wish me luck!
xoxo
kim
One of our signs we made....most recent picture of me....i look awesome right?! lol.
The most creative poster ever...made by yours truly. :)
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Day 141: COOOMMMEEE OOOONNNN
So I was just informed by my nurse that I can't eat....or have my blood thinner shot.
But I'm OKAY with that! why you ask??
I'm getting my PICC line put in today...my nurse said I should be going down soon but who knows when "soon" really is around here. I swear everyone moves like molasses. hahaha.
That's where I'm at right now. I'm sitting in my room in my bed listening to music on my laptop and waiting. And surprisingly I'm in a really good mood. My close friends know exactly why but I'd rather not share on here why. :) just know I've been waiting for this month forever...and it's here....and I'm in the dang hospital!! :(
Anyways, nothing new has changed. I'll still have to do home health AND give myself a shot at home....:( I'm freaking out about that but I'll be okay. I come back monday but I'm excited about my weekend!! :)
Alrighty well.....i have nothing else to say so I'm gonna go walk around and bother the nurses. LOL.
have a SPECTACULAR DAY!!!
kim
But I'm OKAY with that! why you ask??
I'm getting my PICC line put in today...my nurse said I should be going down soon but who knows when "soon" really is around here. I swear everyone moves like molasses. hahaha.
That's where I'm at right now. I'm sitting in my room in my bed listening to music on my laptop and waiting. And surprisingly I'm in a really good mood. My close friends know exactly why but I'd rather not share on here why. :) just know I've been waiting for this month forever...and it's here....and I'm in the dang hospital!! :(
Anyways, nothing new has changed. I'll still have to do home health AND give myself a shot at home....:( I'm freaking out about that but I'll be okay. I come back monday but I'm excited about my weekend!! :)
Alrighty well.....i have nothing else to say so I'm gonna go walk around and bother the nurses. LOL.
have a SPECTACULAR DAY!!!
kim
i was a little sad earlier because they told me I needed another bone marrow biopsy because they were scared the leukemia was back because my counts went down....but they came back up today and he said it may have been the end of the white cell booster so it dipped back down. but my body is recovering on it's own now so they cancelled it. But I was sad because getting TWO procedures done in one day would be impossible...so anyways the fabulous Debbie C. sent me some flowers to my room to cheer me up because i was tempted to send myself some to make me feel better...lol. :)
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Day 140: I thought it was Tuesday
My days seriously blend together and I went all day thinking it was tuesday. ugh. So I was awaken earrrrllllyyy this morning by all my doctors and they said I could get out TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
but
I didn't get my PICC line in. :(
so probably not. :( :( :'(
The PICC line nurses came in my room around 10am and I was ready. I was cracking jokes right and left, I was creating conversation, everything was peachy. From my two picc line insertions I don't remember it really hurting.....until came the numbing shot. OMG....It wouldn't have been that bad because my bone marrow biopsy numbing shots are a lot more painful and I've been stuck so many time with needles that I have a "thing" i do before my shots and it usually takes away the pain.....All nurses usually say "Okay big stick...." or "okay...little stick...." or (the worse) "you'll feel a stick and a burn" well.........it was one of those "stick and burn" kinda shots. The nurse said okay here comes the numbing medication....so I turned my head getting ready to prepare myself for a shot....waiting for those words...................that never came and just as I relaxed again...........BAM.............BURN...........
i literally screamed in my bed and my entire body tensed up from head to toe. It probably looked like I just got shocked because yes, even my feet came off the bed. It burned for a good 2 or 3 seconds and it was just terrible. I just wasn't ready. So then the nurse was poking around my arm asking if i felt anything sharp...and of course....i did so she numbed me again. This time it didn't hurt as bad because the other numbing medication was kinda working...and i was more prepared. So then I was laying there and they were doing their thing and I could feel the line in my chest wiggling around....it was soooo weird. After a couple of minutes they took away my pillow I was laying on and had me look to my right and I could see my arm through the plastic thingy they had over me....and it was alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll bloody!! It was gross....but I continued to watch anyway and it was kinda cool....the picc line coming in and out of my arm....and i could feel it.....but then.....they stopped. I was confused and asked what was going on and they said the line kept following the wrong vein and turning around and returning. So they said they were going to try at a different site on my arm.....the first site was at the top of my arm around the little muscle I have....maybe that's why it was so painful.
So the second time they moved more around the inner part of my arm. still on the right side. And again...the same process, this time I was more prepared but the numbing shot still hurt. This time I did my regular "its gonna hurt" routine....took a deep breath in, held it, and then let it out and squeezed my sheets. lol. sounds silly, but it works. Anyways, they tried again but nothing. Same thing was happening and they said sometimes it just doesn't work for them. They said something about my vein "hiding" behind the other. I didn't really ask too many questions....i was too busy being sad because this going to delay my discharge. :(
So I asked what was going to happen now and she said that radiology will have to put it in downstairs but it may be a while. :( So I'm HOPING that tomorrow my arm not only stops hurting by the time the procedure happens but also that it happens tomorrow MORNING and they can discharge me after I get my medications....I just need a break from this place.
because....
I have to come back on MONDAY (UUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) for my 5th round of chemo. I think I can handle it better IF I get a break from this place. If I can't....I will cry. LOL.
alright well that's all that has been going on today. I'll update more tomorrow. :)
much love,
kim
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
but
I didn't get my PICC line in. :(
so probably not. :( :( :'(
The PICC line nurses came in my room around 10am and I was ready. I was cracking jokes right and left, I was creating conversation, everything was peachy. From my two picc line insertions I don't remember it really hurting.....until came the numbing shot. OMG....It wouldn't have been that bad because my bone marrow biopsy numbing shots are a lot more painful and I've been stuck so many time with needles that I have a "thing" i do before my shots and it usually takes away the pain.....All nurses usually say "Okay big stick...." or "okay...little stick...." or (the worse) "you'll feel a stick and a burn" well.........it was one of those "stick and burn" kinda shots. The nurse said okay here comes the numbing medication....so I turned my head getting ready to prepare myself for a shot....waiting for those words...................that never came and just as I relaxed again...........BAM.............BURN...........
i literally screamed in my bed and my entire body tensed up from head to toe. It probably looked like I just got shocked because yes, even my feet came off the bed. It burned for a good 2 or 3 seconds and it was just terrible. I just wasn't ready. So then the nurse was poking around my arm asking if i felt anything sharp...and of course....i did so she numbed me again. This time it didn't hurt as bad because the other numbing medication was kinda working...and i was more prepared. So then I was laying there and they were doing their thing and I could feel the line in my chest wiggling around....it was soooo weird. After a couple of minutes they took away my pillow I was laying on and had me look to my right and I could see my arm through the plastic thingy they had over me....and it was alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll bloody!! It was gross....but I continued to watch anyway and it was kinda cool....the picc line coming in and out of my arm....and i could feel it.....but then.....they stopped. I was confused and asked what was going on and they said the line kept following the wrong vein and turning around and returning. So they said they were going to try at a different site on my arm.....the first site was at the top of my arm around the little muscle I have....maybe that's why it was so painful.
So the second time they moved more around the inner part of my arm. still on the right side. And again...the same process, this time I was more prepared but the numbing shot still hurt. This time I did my regular "its gonna hurt" routine....took a deep breath in, held it, and then let it out and squeezed my sheets. lol. sounds silly, but it works. Anyways, they tried again but nothing. Same thing was happening and they said sometimes it just doesn't work for them. They said something about my vein "hiding" behind the other. I didn't really ask too many questions....i was too busy being sad because this going to delay my discharge. :(
So I asked what was going to happen now and she said that radiology will have to put it in downstairs but it may be a while. :( So I'm HOPING that tomorrow my arm not only stops hurting by the time the procedure happens but also that it happens tomorrow MORNING and they can discharge me after I get my medications....I just need a break from this place.
because....
I have to come back on MONDAY (UUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) for my 5th round of chemo. I think I can handle it better IF I get a break from this place. If I can't....I will cry. LOL.
alright well that's all that has been going on today. I'll update more tomorrow. :)
much love,
kim
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Day 139: Going Loco
OOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
i'm STTTTTTIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL here.
UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
if you can't get how I feel from those three lines....idk how else to describe the way I feel. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ready to leave. And the way I know this is, I start asking EVERYONE when I can leave. or turn every question or statement into a conversation about me going home.
BUT great news....just as I was getting depressed (and spent a lot of money online shopping....oops!) about being here for another WEEK....that's right another WEEK....an OU Presby Angel came in my room by the name of Deborah. She is one of the social workers/case managers for the adult oncology floor (my floor!) and she said a little birdie told her that I would be going home tomorrow or the next day (I'm so confused IDK what day that is....the days blend together here). YYYYAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not gonna get my hopes up too much because you just don't know what's going to happen...or not happen I should say. I still don't have a new PICC line in and with my conversation with miss debbie she said that would be the thing to "hold me back" from getting out like...yesterday. lol.
So when (not if....we gotta stay POSTIVE) I go home I have to continue on one of my medications. So I'll have home health AGAIN and have to sit around for about two hours a day (probably in the morning) and let the antibiotics go through me. Then I'm free. However, I promised my dear friend Miss Loretta that I would take it EASY and take care of myself as best as I can when I get better so I don't have any more infections....and I will stick to my promise just for her. :) and me of course. SO...i need a hobby. lol. One that doesn't require a lot of going out and doing stuff but more of a sit and DIY at home hobby. Maybe I should take painting a little more serious or maybe knit? Everyone would get SCARVES for christmas!! lol.
anyways, as you can see...i'm starting to lose my mind here....but before I do here is a little health update. My white counts have recovered themselves to a 4....from a 0.2 when I came in....this is great progress considering that I didn't have ANY booster shots or anything. yesterday my hemoglobin was at a 6.6 so I got one unit of blood so today I'm at a 7.7. (reminder... if you donate blood...donate through OBI and mention my name and I can get "credit" for my blood transfusions that I will need in the future!) I have a bit more energy but nothing too special. My platelets are at a 432. Normal for a normal person so I'm moving on up in the world! :) My blood cultures so far are all negative and my final urine culture is negative as well. Friday will be the final "word" whether or not all this bacteria nonsense is gone and outta my system. but either way I have to have this medication until the 24th. lame.
Alright well my "snack" is here from food and nutrition so I need to eat something. Hopefully someone is bringing me something to eat tonight. this cafeteria food gets more and more disgusting the longer I stay here.
Anyways, I hope everyone has a splendid evening. Be thankful.
love,
kim
i'm STTTTTTIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL here.
UUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
if you can't get how I feel from those three lines....idk how else to describe the way I feel. I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ready to leave. And the way I know this is, I start asking EVERYONE when I can leave. or turn every question or statement into a conversation about me going home.
BUT great news....just as I was getting depressed (and spent a lot of money online shopping....oops!) about being here for another WEEK....that's right another WEEK....an OU Presby Angel came in my room by the name of Deborah. She is one of the social workers/case managers for the adult oncology floor (my floor!) and she said a little birdie told her that I would be going home tomorrow or the next day (I'm so confused IDK what day that is....the days blend together here). YYYYAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not gonna get my hopes up too much because you just don't know what's going to happen...or not happen I should say. I still don't have a new PICC line in and with my conversation with miss debbie she said that would be the thing to "hold me back" from getting out like...yesterday. lol.
So when (not if....we gotta stay POSTIVE) I go home I have to continue on one of my medications. So I'll have home health AGAIN and have to sit around for about two hours a day (probably in the morning) and let the antibiotics go through me. Then I'm free. However, I promised my dear friend Miss Loretta that I would take it EASY and take care of myself as best as I can when I get better so I don't have any more infections....and I will stick to my promise just for her. :) and me of course. SO...i need a hobby. lol. One that doesn't require a lot of going out and doing stuff but more of a sit and DIY at home hobby. Maybe I should take painting a little more serious or maybe knit? Everyone would get SCARVES for christmas!! lol.
anyways, as you can see...i'm starting to lose my mind here....but before I do here is a little health update. My white counts have recovered themselves to a 4....from a 0.2 when I came in....this is great progress considering that I didn't have ANY booster shots or anything. yesterday my hemoglobin was at a 6.6 so I got one unit of blood so today I'm at a 7.7. (reminder... if you donate blood...donate through OBI and mention my name and I can get "credit" for my blood transfusions that I will need in the future!) I have a bit more energy but nothing too special. My platelets are at a 432. Normal for a normal person so I'm moving on up in the world! :) My blood cultures so far are all negative and my final urine culture is negative as well. Friday will be the final "word" whether or not all this bacteria nonsense is gone and outta my system. but either way I have to have this medication until the 24th. lame.
Alright well my "snack" is here from food and nutrition so I need to eat something. Hopefully someone is bringing me something to eat tonight. this cafeteria food gets more and more disgusting the longer I stay here.
Anyways, I hope everyone has a splendid evening. Be thankful.
love,
kim
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Day 137: Sunday Not So Funday
Yes that's right. I'm still in the hospital. They took more blood and urine cultures today so hopefully tomorrow I'll know a little more of whats going on and when I can get out of here. One doctor hinted that since I'm already due for more Chemo I should just stay here.....NOOOOO......I'm going to refuse to stay because for my sanity and for my poor kitty's sanity....I need at least two days to NOT be in the hospital. This place is just awful.
Anyways, yesterday I did nothing but sleep all day. I got a fever yesterday of 101.5 but it came down pretty quick after a tylenol and a cool wash cloth on my forehead. Then I started sweating like crazy. disgusting. Then this morning when I woke up the tech came in to take my vitals and once again, I had a fever of 102.1. IDK where these are coming from or if they're a reaction to the medication i'm getting? Either way each fever is like an extra day I'll be in the hospital. :(
Well, not much else has been going on around here. Its a lot of doctors waking me up too early in the morning, needles poking me because my PICC line isn't in anymore, minor fevers that go away quick, and a lot of sleeping. I'm ready to get out of here.
Have a good day, lunch is here!
kim
Anyways, yesterday I did nothing but sleep all day. I got a fever yesterday of 101.5 but it came down pretty quick after a tylenol and a cool wash cloth on my forehead. Then I started sweating like crazy. disgusting. Then this morning when I woke up the tech came in to take my vitals and once again, I had a fever of 102.1. IDK where these are coming from or if they're a reaction to the medication i'm getting? Either way each fever is like an extra day I'll be in the hospital. :(
Well, not much else has been going on around here. Its a lot of doctors waking me up too early in the morning, needles poking me because my PICC line isn't in anymore, minor fevers that go away quick, and a lot of sleeping. I'm ready to get out of here.
Have a good day, lunch is here!
kim
Friday, August 12, 2011
Day 135: Busy Morning Half Asleep
So this morning I was awaken by the awful pain in my lower chest. Think....left lower rib cage. It's been hurting all morning. Especially when I take deep breaths, hiccup, laugh, or move my torso around. I requested for pain pills to help take away the sting but I can only get one every 6 hours. :( I've been telling everyone about it and the doctors I told said it's probably a muscle strain. But I know muscle strains and this is definitely not one.
klebsiella pneumoniae is what I have. I just asked my nurse. don't ask what it is...instead google it. But basically, it's a bad, but common, infection to have.
Anyways, with my morning already being painful this guy comes in at 8am from transport. Barely awake I scramble to get up, get out of bed, use the restroom and crawl into the stretcher with my eyes half shut. He said he was taking me to ultra sound. Then he got a call and all of it was cancelled. So I picked my sleepy self out of the stretcher bed and walked back to my bed and plopped down. He was lecturing me about keeping my money in sight and was showing me places to hide it. I was annoyed so I just laid down and put my pillow over my head said thanks and he was on his way. About 30 minutes later a doctor came in and I told him about my rib cage pain and he was the one that said it was probably a muscles strain from turning too hard or something....i stared at him blankly and said....well i don't do anything by lay in my bed and sleep so it can't be a muscle strain. He then said he'll discuss it with the "team" and we'll talk about it when they all come back around.
At that point,my nurse was in my room and she was busy getting all my medications together and she informed me that transportation was on their way again and I'll be getting procedures done for a couple hours. She gave me my meds and disconnected me from my IV. Sooner than later transportation was here and I climbed back onto the stretcher and off I went. First stop...I got an Echocardiogram done (ultrasound on my heart) She spent quite a bit of time on my left side (side that hurts) so it would be interesting to see if she discovered anything. It probably took the longest. I was in there for about an hour. I was dozing in and out and it was painful when she asked me to take a deep breath. After that was over I got a Duplex ultrasound on my extremities. So they took an ultrasound of my right leg, left leg, right arm, and left arm. I asked what we were doing and she said checking my veins for blood clots. simple enough. This procedure took about 45 minutes and she kept telling me not to fall asleep. lol. And finally the last procedure was a simple regular ultrasound checking my kidneys and my bladder. The tech seemed to spend a little more time on my left side where the pain is so maybe out of all these tests, something will pop up and explain this awful pain. :(
So now I'm back. and have already had a visit by THREE doctors and each of them I complained of how much pain i'm in but all of them did nothing. :( UGH......right when I was about to cry b/c I had the hiccups....a knock came at my door and the guy said...."delivery"..........I thought to myself....."delivery??" The doctor who was with me let him in and it was a HUGE "GET WELL SOON" balloon........ :) It totally made my hospital stay SOOO much better because guess what...it SINGS TO ME!!! I'm one of the superficial girls that gifts like balloons and flowers bring pure joy to my face. IDK why but I'm so happy. It made me laugh as it was singing..........and it was hurting but I didn't care. :)
So MB....if you're reading this, you are so awesome and your balloons came at the right time in the day. :) Thank you for this, I needed it. :)
WELL ANYWAYS, after all this excitement
I got me a hot dog and some pineapples for lunch and am relaxing trying not to move because I am in even more pain. I have until 2:45 until I get my next pain pill. I can do it....I'm going to lay down now and enjoy my newly carbonated sprite while I can and try not to move too much. :)
much love,
kim
klebsiella pneumoniae is what I have. I just asked my nurse. don't ask what it is...instead google it. But basically, it's a bad, but common, infection to have.
Anyways, with my morning already being painful this guy comes in at 8am from transport. Barely awake I scramble to get up, get out of bed, use the restroom and crawl into the stretcher with my eyes half shut. He said he was taking me to ultra sound. Then he got a call and all of it was cancelled. So I picked my sleepy self out of the stretcher bed and walked back to my bed and plopped down. He was lecturing me about keeping my money in sight and was showing me places to hide it. I was annoyed so I just laid down and put my pillow over my head said thanks and he was on his way. About 30 minutes later a doctor came in and I told him about my rib cage pain and he was the one that said it was probably a muscles strain from turning too hard or something....i stared at him blankly and said....well i don't do anything by lay in my bed and sleep so it can't be a muscle strain. He then said he'll discuss it with the "team" and we'll talk about it when they all come back around.
At that point,my nurse was in my room and she was busy getting all my medications together and she informed me that transportation was on their way again and I'll be getting procedures done for a couple hours. She gave me my meds and disconnected me from my IV. Sooner than later transportation was here and I climbed back onto the stretcher and off I went. First stop...I got an Echocardiogram done (ultrasound on my heart) She spent quite a bit of time on my left side (side that hurts) so it would be interesting to see if she discovered anything. It probably took the longest. I was in there for about an hour. I was dozing in and out and it was painful when she asked me to take a deep breath. After that was over I got a Duplex ultrasound on my extremities. So they took an ultrasound of my right leg, left leg, right arm, and left arm. I asked what we were doing and she said checking my veins for blood clots. simple enough. This procedure took about 45 minutes and she kept telling me not to fall asleep. lol. And finally the last procedure was a simple regular ultrasound checking my kidneys and my bladder. The tech seemed to spend a little more time on my left side where the pain is so maybe out of all these tests, something will pop up and explain this awful pain. :(
So now I'm back. and have already had a visit by THREE doctors and each of them I complained of how much pain i'm in but all of them did nothing. :( UGH......right when I was about to cry b/c I had the hiccups....a knock came at my door and the guy said...."delivery"..........I thought to myself....."delivery??" The doctor who was with me let him in and it was a HUGE "GET WELL SOON" balloon........ :) It totally made my hospital stay SOOO much better because guess what...it SINGS TO ME!!! I'm one of the superficial girls that gifts like balloons and flowers bring pure joy to my face. IDK why but I'm so happy. It made me laugh as it was singing..........and it was hurting but I didn't care. :)
So MB....if you're reading this, you are so awesome and your balloons came at the right time in the day. :) Thank you for this, I needed it. :)
WELL ANYWAYS, after all this excitement
I got me a hot dog and some pineapples for lunch and am relaxing trying not to move because I am in even more pain. I have until 2:45 until I get my next pain pill. I can do it....I'm going to lay down now and enjoy my newly carbonated sprite while I can and try not to move too much. :)
much love,
kim
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Day 134: Bad Taste In My Mouth
I have the nasty taste of some sort of metal in my mouth. great. this always alters the way food tastes. I'm down to one meal a day because I don't really have much of an appetite. I crave the carbonation of a sprite or coke but only drink like half the bottle. lol.
So update, I'm STILL in the hospital and all I do is sleep. The infectious disease team is now involved because my blood, and stool cultures came back positive. Back when I had my fungal infection in may and was really sick I had some bacteria infection in conjunction with my fungal infection. They gave me an antibiotic that is usually the only thing that can stop the infection but I had a reaction to it.....well, that bacteria is back. So it's the SAME infection I had. I'll ask my nurse what it was called. I was told it but I forgot it. It's some sort of bacteria blood infection. Anyways, so today they took out my PICC line and have me set up with a temporary line to give me all my millions of antibiotics. and once my blood cultures come back negative they'll put a new one in. for now, I got a 100.4 degree fever and i'm FREEZZZIIINNNGGGG. ugh.
and my white counts came up today. they're still low but at least they moved in a positive direction.
Right now I'm craving pizza. I wish someone was available to get me some this late. :) oh well.
Well my nurse hasn't came in yet. So I'll update when she does. :)
kim
So update, I'm STILL in the hospital and all I do is sleep. The infectious disease team is now involved because my blood, and stool cultures came back positive. Back when I had my fungal infection in may and was really sick I had some bacteria infection in conjunction with my fungal infection. They gave me an antibiotic that is usually the only thing that can stop the infection but I had a reaction to it.....well, that bacteria is back. So it's the SAME infection I had. I'll ask my nurse what it was called. I was told it but I forgot it. It's some sort of bacteria blood infection. Anyways, so today they took out my PICC line and have me set up with a temporary line to give me all my millions of antibiotics. and once my blood cultures come back negative they'll put a new one in. for now, I got a 100.4 degree fever and i'm FREEZZZIIINNNGGGG. ugh.
and my white counts came up today. they're still low but at least they moved in a positive direction.
Right now I'm craving pizza. I wish someone was available to get me some this late. :) oh well.
Well my nurse hasn't came in yet. So I'll update when she does. :)
kim
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Day 133: Potassium Pills are the worst
Okay readers...So I was released from the hospital on Saturday around 4pm. No, I didn't feel rejuvenated NO, I wasn't a big ball of energy from all the blood I got, and NO i didn't have an appetite. Instead, as soon as I was dropped off at home, I put all my stuff (didn't even unpack) on the floor and laid down on my couch....and made that my "nest" for the next 23 hours....yes that is right....TWENTY THREE HOURS of SLEEP. I was EXHAUSTED. I'm not really sure why, I was told it may be dehydration. So every chance I got I tried to drink a cup of water or gatorade of some sort, I did. But I didn't see any changes in how I was feeling. I was so tired that I never even turned on the lights in my apartment or ate anything. I still didn't have an appetite but I figured I needed to eat. But i didn't. Two of my friends then came over to keep me company because I told them I wasn't feeling well. They brought me a sprite to drink because my stomach was uneasy for some reason. We hung out for a bit and watched a movie and even had a mini slumber party in the middle of the day. lol. After they left another friend of mine offered to bring me something....immediately, I thought, FOOD. I love subway and I had been thinking about it since I was in the hospital for blood so I thought, why not? She came about 30 minutes later and I was sooo ready to dig in and eat. I took a big couple drinks of gatorade and then a bite of my sandwhich. I chewed it, swallowed it and then...................................ran to the bathroom and threw everything I had just drank/ate. it was disgusting because I HATE throwing up. So then I decided to take my temp by mouth and it's 101.3.....great right? Luckily my friend was still there and she took me to the emergency room and I checked in around 7:30pm for a neutropenic fever. I noticed that walking around I was so out of breath....which is not normal. After waiting about 30 or so minutes I was checked in and sent to the back to wait in an ER room and given a mask to wear for my low white blood counts. I remained there FOREVER as lots of blood were drawn, different doctors were in and out of the room, and my poor body shivered as my temperature came down after my first bag of antibiotics went through me. So after waiting over 4 hours in this room, I was transported to the 7th floor and once again, was bombarded by nurses (this time they at least knew me), doctors, and whoever else wanted to ask me questions about why I'm here and what happened. Eventually, they got more antibiotics ordered and i could finally somewhat sleep....by this time it was about 2am. So my days here have been about the same. I've been pretty crabby when students or doctors come in because i hate answering the same questions....I get that they're "practicing" but it's really not necessary for 4 people to come in 30 minutes apart to ask me a bazillion questions. Maybe I should just write it down on a sticky note and post it on the door...haha.
NO i don't have a fever or had one over night
NO i don't have any nausea or vomiting
NO there was no change over night
NO i don't have any chest or abdominal pains.
My last bowel movement was _____ at about _____o'clock
YES there is something you can do, let me sleep.
hahahahaha....that would be great. but I'm way too nice to do that. But it's fun to think about. So right now, as far as I know is that I have some sort of bacteria infection and my length of stay depends on how fast it clears up. Right now, the doctors are saying i'll be in here another 2 days. My white blood counts are still low but IDK what they are. I've been knocked out asleep everyday until about noon.
Anyways, I'm feeling so much better and and am bored and ready to get outta here. Sorry for the lack of writing but I've been pretty sick... :( but I'm better now :)
love you all
kim
NO i don't have a fever or had one over night
NO i don't have any nausea or vomiting
NO there was no change over night
NO i don't have any chest or abdominal pains.
My last bowel movement was _____ at about _____o'clock
YES there is something you can do, let me sleep.
hahahahaha....that would be great. but I'm way too nice to do that. But it's fun to think about. So right now, as far as I know is that I have some sort of bacteria infection and my length of stay depends on how fast it clears up. Right now, the doctors are saying i'll be in here another 2 days. My white blood counts are still low but IDK what they are. I've been knocked out asleep everyday until about noon.
Anyways, I'm feeling so much better and and am bored and ready to get outta here. Sorry for the lack of writing but I've been pretty sick... :( but I'm better now :)
love you all
kim
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Day 129: PANCYTO...what?
Word of the day: Pancytopenia
yeah...try saying that 3 times....or once. lol
So what is that you ask??
Pancytopenia is a deficiency of all types of blood cells, including white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets. It occurs when your body cannot produce enough blood cells because the bone marrow stem cells that form blood cells do not function normally. Pancytopenia has widespread effects on the entire body by leading to oxygen shortage as well as problems with immune function.
basically, it's a fancy word for my counts are low because of the chemo.
now that that's over....
it's 2am and I just got admitted to the hospital. I was waiting ALL DAY LONG for the "your bed is ready" call....and of course, they wait until late at night to tell me to come in. So here I am....finally!
I am kinda glad that they waited so long because I got the chance to eat lunch with my fabulous 8th grade teacher co-workers. I met them at the school right before they left for lunch and I was so happy to know that the students knew who I was. I heard a lot of whispering going around "OMG look it's Miss Begay", "Is that Miss Begay?". "Is Miss Begay teaching today?"
and of course a lot of "HI MISS BEGAY!!!"
it was wonderful to know that my future students are so awesome....it also made me sad because I still have like around 60 days or so until I can teach and actually MEET everyone.
What was really funny was that a student, idk who he was, was walking beside me and said, "Miss Begay, is that your real hair?" In my mind I thought....maybe I should just say yes. But i didn't. I figured that I would be switching wigs a lot during the year and I don't want to lie. I enjoy being open to my students....and I know they will give it to me straight if I have a 'bad hair day.' They can be brutally honest sometimes....i love them anyway.
(side note, I'm laying in my bed with my door open and the lady across the hall is shaving her hair off and I'm totally eavesdropping on her conversation....she sounds sad. I think she's crying. :( It makes me want to go over there and comfort her.)
...
...
...
...
The doctor on call just came and asked me a million questions. She was blown away by my "story" of how I was walking around with a 3 hemoglobin and 8 platelet count. LOL. She agreed that it was because i was in such awesome shape.
...
...
...
Anyways, it's going to be a long night. I gotta see the Oncology Fellow Doctor and chit chat with him so he/she can sign off on my orders.
I forgot that every 30 minutes when I get blood they have to take my blood pressure and temperature....so basically, I'm not gonna get ANY sleep tonight. ugh.. great. oh well.
Alright well JERSEY SHORE is on tv now so I'm gonna watch it and try to relax and get a quick nap in before all this chaos starts.
I love you all. :)
Good Night.
Kim
yeah...try saying that 3 times....or once. lol
So what is that you ask??
Pancytopenia is a deficiency of all types of blood cells, including white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets. It occurs when your body cannot produce enough blood cells because the bone marrow stem cells that form blood cells do not function normally. Pancytopenia has widespread effects on the entire body by leading to oxygen shortage as well as problems with immune function.
basically, it's a fancy word for my counts are low because of the chemo.
now that that's over....
it's 2am and I just got admitted to the hospital. I was waiting ALL DAY LONG for the "your bed is ready" call....and of course, they wait until late at night to tell me to come in. So here I am....finally!
I am kinda glad that they waited so long because I got the chance to eat lunch with my fabulous 8th grade teacher co-workers. I met them at the school right before they left for lunch and I was so happy to know that the students knew who I was. I heard a lot of whispering going around "OMG look it's Miss Begay", "Is that Miss Begay?". "Is Miss Begay teaching today?"
and of course a lot of "HI MISS BEGAY!!!"
it was wonderful to know that my future students are so awesome....it also made me sad because I still have like around 60 days or so until I can teach and actually MEET everyone.
What was really funny was that a student, idk who he was, was walking beside me and said, "Miss Begay, is that your real hair?" In my mind I thought....maybe I should just say yes. But i didn't. I figured that I would be switching wigs a lot during the year and I don't want to lie. I enjoy being open to my students....and I know they will give it to me straight if I have a 'bad hair day.' They can be brutally honest sometimes....i love them anyway.
(side note, I'm laying in my bed with my door open and the lady across the hall is shaving her hair off and I'm totally eavesdropping on her conversation....she sounds sad. I think she's crying. :( It makes me want to go over there and comfort her.)
...
...
...
...
The doctor on call just came and asked me a million questions. She was blown away by my "story" of how I was walking around with a 3 hemoglobin and 8 platelet count. LOL. She agreed that it was because i was in such awesome shape.
...
...
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Anyways, it's going to be a long night. I gotta see the Oncology Fellow Doctor and chit chat with him so he/she can sign off on my orders.
I forgot that every 30 minutes when I get blood they have to take my blood pressure and temperature....so basically, I'm not gonna get ANY sleep tonight. ugh.. great. oh well.
Alright well JERSEY SHORE is on tv now so I'm gonna watch it and try to relax and get a quick nap in before all this chaos starts.
I love you all. :)
Good Night.
Kim
hey, i don't look sick.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Day 128: One Step Back
I went in today to get my blood drawn (last time it was drawn was on Monday) and my daily neupogen shot (white cell booster) and I wore my wig (it was a wig kinda day) because I was feeling good. The ladies in the chemotherapy/infusion center have never seen me in a wig (I usually just wear a baseball cap) and I got lots of compliments. They said I look different but in a good way. :) So I went in followed the daily "procedure" and played around on the ipad and waited. My blood was drawn and I got a shot in the stomach and I was on my way.
I hung around a little in the lobby because I was just out of breath and I looked up different websites for cancer scholarships just to get an idea of what they require. Right then I got a text from my friend Emily basically asking if I was ready to go to the gym (a daily, if not twice a day occurance now). I told her I was on my way home but I would go. As soon as I got home, I was changing into my workout clothes and I realized that my wig (the expensive one at that) gave me a headache. So I sat on my couch and listened to music while I put on my shoes. Then....the phone call....dun, dun, dun.
I figured it was my infusion nurse who told me she would call if I didn't have to come in tomorrow. I answered and it was Phyllis....my oncologist's nurse. the head honcho. She informed me that ALL of my counts were really low. She asked if I got a fever and I said no and she asked how I was feeling...and I said good.
She told me I have to have a couple (probably 3) blood transfusions because my hemoglobin is at a 6...that's right a 6.....if a regular person was at a 6, they would be passing out.........but of course not me, I want to go to the gym. lol.
This morning when I was putting on my wig I thought to myself....hmm....I look pale. So I checked my hands and they didn't have much pink/color....my solution......BRONZER! lol. I also noticed that when I walk fast I get tired easy and yesterday when I was mailing off a care package for my sister, I had to carry two 14lb boxes inside and when I got in....I felt like I ran 5 miles, I was out of breath and found myself leaning on whatever would support me...........so i knew this was coming. Maybe that;s why my cat has been freaking out whenever he sees me....??
She then said my platelets were at 14,000...........and you're suppose to be at 250,000. Luckily....i don't have any bruises...but I have noticed my gums and nose bleeding randomly......a sign there is nothing in my body to clot blood. oops.
And finally, my white counts are at a 0.1. and it's a MIRACLE that i did NOT get a fever. Thank you neupogen shots!
So while on the phone I thought.....YES, I get to use the "fun" area of the infusion center where I get my own personal TV and I get a curtain to block myself off from everyone....I'll probably get there extra early so I get my pick of the batch so I'll get a good view of the outside..........ha, I wish.....Phyllis said that since I have so much transfusions to get I have to be admitted to the hospital and stay for at least 24 hours....uuugghhhh. So tomorrow I have to wait for the "your bed is ready" call and head in to get blood.
On a positive note....I'll have WAY more energy and won't be as pale. lol.
To me this is CRAZY because just yesterday I was running on the treadmill and lifting weights and tomorrow I'll be in the hospital. lame. I guess I should be taking it easy but I get so bored and I gain weight sooooo easy. I will admit that I have not been eating very good (maybe 1 meal a day) and I have been working out/running twice a day. I did drop my weight I gained from my hot wings kick and have gained some muscle back that I lost during my fungal infection. I guess I need to find a good balance of the two extremes.....or wait until treatment is over......i guess this would be a good time to read my book "eating with cancer."
i hate reading. lol
Okay well, I'm soo tired my eyes hurt. I didn't get much sleep last night and i have a long boring day ahead of me tomorrow.
Good Night Everyone! :)
Kim
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Day 127: so close
Today marks exactly 4 months i'vebeen in treatment.
And
TWO MORE MONTHS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!
Please send gifts to
4200 N. Meridian Ave. #214
OKC, OK
:)
Thanks!
And
TWO MORE MONTHS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY!!
Please send gifts to
4200 N. Meridian Ave. #214
OKC, OK
:)
Thanks!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Day 126: onward!
Well if you ever need to find me at 3:00pm on any given day....I'm at the ou cancer center. Boo!I'm still getting my daily shots toboostwhite blood counts and I have to say....they're getting less and less painful. Not that they were ever hurt....I'm just a wimp with needles. The few times I had to get stuck everyt moening to get my blood drawn has scarred me for life.
Anyways, this place is niiiice. I've been meaning to post pictures but I just haven't got around it. Everything is so new and upgraded it makes me happy. Someday I'll just hang out here all day and get stuff done. But not today.
This is a small section of the infusion center for people who get in and get out. The chairs are extra comfortable. And there are soo many that I usually am surrounded by noonewhen Im here. There is a section for longer term patients. They have a mini "cubicle" to themselves equipped with a tv. It's divided by a curtain but still extra nice. The chairs you can see in the distant is like a "waiting" area if more than one person comes with you. There is also a couple kitchenettes for patients to have a snack or drink....overall nice. More pictures later. :)
So ive been pretty much doing nothing all week. I wake up....go running or to the gym...take a shower...run an errand or two to get out of the house (post office, mall, wal-mar, sonic pit stopt...) and then go to the csncer center for whatever reason....back to the gym....then my day is over. By the end of the day I'm dying of social interaction. I'm ready to teach again....
Since I have a lot of tume at home I've been catching up on my medical bill organization and it's sooooo stressful! I have bills that I completely forgot about. So today I spent a good $300 if not more to pay for $50 here and there....uggghhhh.so if anyone would like to donate to a good cause.w..donate to me!
On a positive note....I'm soooo thankful that Im not buried in school loans as well....it could always be worse. :)
Well my nurse is here to give me shots so I'll write later.:)
Kim
Anyways, this place is niiiice. I've been meaning to post pictures but I just haven't got around it. Everything is so new and upgraded it makes me happy. Someday I'll just hang out here all day and get stuff done. But not today.
This is a small section of the infusion center for people who get in and get out. The chairs are extra comfortable. And there are soo many that I usually am surrounded by noonewhen Im here. There is a section for longer term patients. They have a mini "cubicle" to themselves equipped with a tv. It's divided by a curtain but still extra nice. The chairs you can see in the distant is like a "waiting" area if more than one person comes with you. There is also a couple kitchenettes for patients to have a snack or drink....overall nice. More pictures later. :)
So ive been pretty much doing nothing all week. I wake up....go running or to the gym...take a shower...run an errand or two to get out of the house (post office, mall, wal-mar, sonic pit stopt...) and then go to the csncer center for whatever reason....back to the gym....then my day is over. By the end of the day I'm dying of social interaction. I'm ready to teach again....
Since I have a lot of tume at home I've been catching up on my medical bill organization and it's sooooo stressful! I have bills that I completely forgot about. So today I spent a good $300 if not more to pay for $50 here and there....uggghhhh.so if anyone would like to donate to a good cause.w..donate to me!
On a positive note....I'm soooo thankful that Im not buried in school loans as well....it could always be worse. :)
Well my nurse is here to give me shots so I'll write later.:)
Kim
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