Sorry readers for my lack of update. I assure you that this has been one stressful week for me and my parents. Okay so from the top.....Saturday, I was allowed to sleep in just a little if I wanted. My parent hit a few (many) Garage Sales and i did NOT go with them. I've always hated that hobby of theirs. So right after they left i rolled myself off the couch and go ready to go back to Taft to help decorate a bit more, or as much as I was physically able too. I was so excited for prom because I was able to see all the Kids looking their finest! :) I did as much as I could and my back started hurting pretty quick so I got out of there. I was also pretty tired so I really just wanted to go home and go to sleep for a bit to rest up. I was planning to host my BF's Bacheloette Party at my place so I decided to take a quick nap and wake up at three to feel refreshed. Well I woke up at 4 (oops) only to my mom asking if I needed help for the party. I told here I didn't (which I really did) and continued to get up and but on whatever was close to me. I it was a quick one hour shopping trip to three different stores. When I got home I made a Huge Bachelorette sign and of course, I only realized at the end that I am the only person but I managed to get most of everything set up. THEN I decided to get ready for prom, it didn't take me very long to get ready because my hair. It was debut of my wig and I got a lot of compliments on it. it took a little bit off my paranoid self (thinking "OMG, EVERYONE KNOWS THIS IS A WIG!)
Anyways, I had fun at prom and planned to stay and little longer by my head started hurting from the loud music and my tight wig. It was a bummer but I'll be okay. So as soon as I got back the bachelorette party was about to start. Some girls showed up early (on time) and I did the final setting up and kinda just talked while we were munching and they were having a few glasses of wine. After a while, I started to get tired and my head started to hurt so laid down for a bit and was completely being a party pooper. I laid down for a good 25 minutes and felt a little more refreshed. When I got up I was a litte woozy. then a girl called and said she'd be a little late. SO I went straight to the bedroom and laid down a bit. great ideat. As soon as she got there I was ready to go, they mingled a bit, took a few shots, and we were finally on our way.
I was the dd (obviously) and had every intention of going in for a bit and leaving early. But I knew as soon as we were pulling up that I was going to be sick and I really felt like throwing up. So i told the girls to go ahead and go. It sucked to say that but they understood what I was going through and were cool about it. They hopped out and went in and I drove off. As soon as I was driving through the neighborhood I suddenly got sick and had to throw up. I stopped my car, opened the door and let it all out. It was all the water and gatorade I was drinking at the apartment that I was throwning up. Usually when I take medication without food or something and it settles on its own it rejects any and everthing. So it was weird. I threw up for a good three minutes before finally cleaning myself up, getting my energy back and driving home.
As soon as I got home I cleaned as much as possible before getting tired and I passed out on my own bed. The next morning I woke up and felt awful! Just exhausted and had a headache. I got myself up and moved to the couch and put in a movie to watch. I cooked some ramen noodles and was just thirsty!! I finished cleaning the rest of the decorations which really didn't take long at all....except my cat einstein decided it would be funny to knock off all the sequence onto the floor....twice. ugh.
So the rest of my day was spent on the couch not feeling too terrible but I was just fatigued. my parents came home and I was still laying on the couch. After a couple hours of that my mom finally asked how I felt and she took my temperature and it was 101.5! I told her I didn't feel like I was running a fever. She left me alone for a bit and retook it later and it was at 102.7! at that point I started to feel a little worse but still remained on my couch and ate the ramen noodles my mom had just cooked me. I fell asleep for a bit and she woke me up later at night and then my temp was 98.9! So we thought...hmmm it must've been from the chemo or just something normal because it's coming back down.
The next morning (monday) we had to wake up somewhat early to get to our appointment. But I was just not in the mood to get up. my mom had been saying "kim we have to get there early you need to get ready" but I had no energy. She ended up grabbing any sweatpants she could find and any hoodie out of my closet. I told her i didn't care what I looked like. So as I was putting my clothes on I felt terrrrrrrible. For some odd reason my calves were sore. I figured I was sore from my 30+ minutes of wearing my high heels and I was just being pathetic. I toughed it out and we went to my appointment. My mom had told the ladies who work in the infusion room that I had ran a fever the night before. So they got my vital signs as normal and indeed that day I was running a fever as well. So they called and told whoever they needed to about my fevers and she said, get to the ER asap! They gave me paperwork to make the process easier. So with whatever I had with me at the time (my purse) I was about to be admitted into the ER and most likely be taken to Oncology. Well....my sprite spilled in my purse so everything got wet! and that monday night, ALL of the hospital rooms were TAKEN. I had to stay in an ER room, which was so uncomfortable and my eyes were extremely sensitive to light and at this point my calves were cramping up so bad it hurt to walk. I was more shuffling around to get to the restroom. Also in ER they put a whole bunch of stuff on you that you really don't need. So all night if I had to use the restroom I had to call a nurse and he/she would come and unplug everything and it was just weird.
Luckily on Tuesday they got me onto a 7th floor Oncology room. It's a really oddly shaped room but it works. So on tuesday I was feeling terrible. I could hardly move and I needed help gettint up to use the restroom. I could still walk on my own but it was a slow, painful shuffle. The soreness feeling that I was getting had gotten worse and was spreading up through to my quads. I had a fever all day and I just feel crummy all day.
Wednesday and thursday were about the same kind of day. My legs soreness were at an all time high and I could barely move them. I needed my mom to help me just move them around (which was sleeping uncomfortable at night b/c i'm a toss and turner) I was still just barely walking on wednesday but on thursday I started being wheeled over in a portable old people toilet chair thing. it was AWFUL. and PAINFUL. My fevers were also peaking and i was sweating really bad between fevers, which was gross. I also found out that I had some sort of yeast infection. They took out my PICC like just in case it was growing on the plastic part of the line inside of me. So they put me on antifungal stuff on top of being on general antibiotics.
Friday, was one of the worst days yet. I had a high fever and just felt horrible. terrible. awful. any word you can think of along those lines. It was terrible. I could no longer walk or move any part of my body on my own. I felt so useless. Like literally, I was in the hospital only to try to live. it was almost like my body had given up on me. I felt like that every day as I got worse. I would cry if I couldn't move or just cry because the reality was that I couldn't do anything for myself anymore. It was just scary. So anyways, going to the restroom was about a 30 minute process. My mom had to get both of my legs off the bed, then she would have to try to straighten me out as best as she could. I had to sit the bed up as much as i would allow it to and then she would have to put her arms around me (like a hug) and move me around. She then had to pull me forward so I was somewhat close to the edge of the bed to make it a bit easier to move. Then, I raised the bed high enough to where I was practically standing. I then leaned against the bedside table and tried to adjust myself to sit down in the toilet chair. once I finally sat down I was wheeled to the toilet, went, and came back. The process getting up was 10x harder and took a lot longer because a lot was me on my own trying to get up. It was horrible because my poor legs always felt weak and it was just a horrible experience. And on average I used the restroom at least once every 4 hours because of all the fluids going through me. So this was definitely not a fun process.
At night was the worst, because when I knew I had to go Idk why but I would always think, well, Ill make it until morning....umm definitely didn't. I had to wake my mom up somehow to have her help me and it just sucked. Last night I went to the restroom three times. The first time I knew I had to go as soon as I sat down and I told my mom. SO our solution was to slide bucked under the portable in a little slot and I went beside my bed...odd. The second time I need to go I waited way too long and started to panic because I had to go so bad. I was moving around too much and I think I psyched myself out so much that I kept asking my mom if I could just go on myself. As soon as she said yes...I let it rip. lol. We called the nurse afterwards and she got us clean bedding and I got cleaned up myself. It was just sad.
anyways. I went to sleep and woke up SWEATING. it was so hot and I didn't feel good at all. I woke up on because, go figure, I had to use the restroom. So I got my mom up AGAIN and we repeated the entire process of using the restroom. We had some help from the nurse too, which was nice. But then my mom noticed my body temperature was sky high! My skin was hot and everything. I didn't notice, I just felt crummy. When I went back to sleep I only slept with a sheet over me because I was already pretty warm and I woke up to one of the residency doctors checking in with me. When she was talking (mainly to my mom) I noticed how sweaty I was. My head was wet, my back was too....it was gross. Eventually, I had to use the restroom AGAIN and this time I stayed in there to shower and I felt so much better afterwards.
Luckily after I showered I felt a little better and flexible in my legs. after my shower my mom had me walk a few paces back and forth and I felt like a baby giraffe. i was extremely wobbly....almost like I forgot how I walked....but it was progress and I was happy about that. Then I sat down and later Physical Therapy came up to do a few strength tests and evaluate my walking. She showed me exercises in my bed to do on my own and she would check on me the next day.
So basically, Ive been in the hospital for the past 6 days and it has been just TERRIBLE. It has been miserable but I'm alive taking it day by day. I have good days and bad days that help me get through one another (i think of the good days on the bad days that I dont' want to come back, and the bad days I think of the good days I can have)
Every day I learn something new and write stuff down and keep it in a box. So maybe one day I can help someone out.
Alright food is here, I'm a little hungry and eventually the smell will start making me sick so I better eat. LOL.
Love you all and sorry for the long wait. Just know I've been meaning to but it's just been that terrible.
keep the prayers coming I need it during this time....
kim
No comments:
Post a Comment