I just got my first dose of chemo literally 2 minutes ago. So exciting!! I get one "bag" of chemo every 12 hours for four days. They walked into my room all scrubbed up with thick gloves and everything and the chemo bag was in a "confidential" green bag and I thought it was way exciting. I later asked why they had to be so careful because it's in a bag just like the IV and steroids I got pumped into me and she said it was covered in green in case I take off running or wandering the halls, it just signals that I'm on chemo and they have to send me back to my room.....i'm taking this as a challenge. :)
Right now my heart is racing (from the steroids) and i have an ache in my right arm where my pick-line (sp?) is (a special IV that runs into my main artery from my arm...like a long straw inside of me going to my heart). I feel a little nauseated right now but I hope it's only for a bit. my stomach hurts right now, my heart is racing, and i'm at the beginning stages of a headache. all normal signs...i guess. but i'm 20 minutes in now (i'm an extremely slow typer....and on facebook at the same time, lol) so i'm 1/3 of the way through....i'm proud of myself. All the excitement is still alive because as i sit here by myself in my room I have enjoyed the chemo. I like the alone time (no offense to ANYONE...i love you all's company) but I'm kind of glad that I am going through this alone for now because I feel like these past few days I've been surrounded by loved ones and visitors but It has given me time to really think about what I'm actually going through. I still can't believe I have cancer. I don't feel like the way the movies look....
I've always been the type to like alone time where it's just me and my music. it really clears my head and not gonna lie I let out a tear....just one though because it's real now. but i'm not sad. i'm happy. it's more a tear of joy. I'm so lucky that they caught it as early as they did and at the time they did (summer is almost here). I can only imagine what would've happened if they didn't. I'm lucky. Someone is taking care of me.
I'm not looking forward to the hair loss. As I took a shower today, I washed my hair and began to miss it already. I know it will grow back but I don't want to look like I'm sick. :( :(
A nurse came in today and said "you're the happiest patient we've had here in a while. I'm so glad that you're in good spirits. I've seen you walking around a bit lately and I noticed that you're so polite to everyone and you smile a lot.".......this just warms my heart because I'm glad I'm showing my positivity and people are noticing.
Okay my mom is here and I'm sure she'll have a million questions for me. lol.
I'll write more when I can. I love you all. Thanks for all the happy thoughts and words of encouragement. you're feeding my positivity. I truly appreciate each and everyone of you. :)
Until next time.
Kim
Hey Kim =) This is Brent! So it's PICC line haha. I'm really proud of you for looking at this the way you do. You doing FABULOUS and you're gonna beat this. The odds are in your favor, girl. You're gonna be stronger because of this. You're strong enough to handle this so show them how it's done! I will read this every day, Kim. I'm pulling for you and I'll come see you soon.
ReplyDeleteLove, Brent
Kim,
ReplyDeleteI am so inspired by your positivity and attitude - lots of prayers are headed your way. Your strength is incredible and like Brent said, the odds are in your favor! I think it's incredible that you are writing this out, it will be a true inspiration for others fighting the same battle!
much love,
Rachel